|Blogs > empress_evie > Sex in the Second City|
So many fantastic possibilities!
So many fantastic possibilities!
Okay. So the revelation I had on Thursday at the restaurant with Joe, the revelation I mentioned in the previous entry, is this:
I think I know what I'm looking for.
Guy-wise, at least. (What am I looking for in my life overall? The highest prime number... in short, I'll never really know.) I've been leaning towards conscience lately, feeling like I need to quit being such a slut, but at the same time... when I'm with certain people, I don't FEEL like a slut. I feel like -
- it's right? Not in the grand sweeping romantic sense. Just that I don't feel ashamed after they've left or I've left, or flirting madly with them, or after making out with them in the car, or after sneakily writing them email while I'm on the phone with West Coast Boy (okay, I've only done that once...)
I figure what I need to do is settle down. With the three to five guys who are right for me.
Lemme 'splain. I have a crazed horny mood every now and again, and that's when I'll end up fucking lots and lots of people. They're all intelligent, all witty, all attractive, because I'm picky - but most of them aren't guys I'd click with if we weren't gettin' it on. After a while, I start feeling sad after a liaison - why am I doing this, what am I getting out of it, is mere physical pleasure enough?
No, it's not. It's necessary to me, but it's not the only thing I need. As I'm realizing while talking to Joe, while emailing Matt about a possible foursome, and lately while tantalizingly flirting with Alex, who, if I'm lucky, I'll continue to flirt with and get to know (there's something there that could be different and intriguing... I want to find out what it is) - some guys just have something about them.
It's different with everyone with whom I click. Easy companionship, witty banter, intellectual conversations, completely random conversations... playful sex, insistent sex, powerful sex... They're all things I crave. Sometimes I don't even realize I need something till I meet the guy who can provide it. And when I think about it, I don't play favorites. (So wipe that smirk off your face, Matt.) Because the right guys become my friends... and each friend in my life is so different it's impossible to compare.
So when it comes to sleeping around, I think I don't need to stop sleeping around to ease my conscience - I think I just need to find the right people to sleep around with. The ones who, when the door shuts behind them (or me), I give a deep, satisfied "Ahhhh....". So those are the guys I'm looking for. I've found a couple of them, I'd like to see if there are more, because I do have plenty of emotional/physical energy to go around.
One thing I've noticed about the guys I click with now, and guys I've clicked with in the past - They have a tendency to be attached to someone they care deeply for and don't want to leave, or else they're not up for a Relationship with a capital R for some other reason. So they don't end up, as I put it, "going all boyfriend on me." I have a boyfriend, I don't need another one. Boyfriends take work. That's not what I'm looking for... although a romantic spark with someone WOULD be delicious to find... mmmm.
So, there we have Deep Thought for the Day!
Now I'm going to go dye my hair. Don't worry, you redhead-fetishers, it's still going to be red - just blonder, quite strawberry blonde if the package is accurate. (Besides, my hair always ends up with golden-red tones no matter what I dye it.) I just got a haircut and the ash-blonde roots are showing. I can't live without being at least somewhat a redhead at this point, so...
I know... I'll take a pic and show you!
9/17/2005 12:18 pm
You are fantastic. If I could throw a rope around Chicago and pull it all the way to me, I would do that just because you are a part of it.|
9/17/2005 1:57 pm
I blush. Seriously, I do. |
That'd take a lot of manpower, that would.
9/19/2005 6:30 am
"I figure what I need to do is settle down with the three to five guys who are right for me."|
Now that is funny….. And I totally get how honest and true that statement can be for someone!
Imagine a married man: not unhappy, just sexually unchallenged, who finds his subversive dream girl who is also married and in a similar situation… they meet, truly connect sexually, and over time become best friends and finally fall in love. But the story doesn’t end there; they can’t see each other much (they are married and have kids)
This dude is still horny, and has his own sluttish periods, middle aged and anxious to see if he still has it going on. He finds this site and easily hooks up with one wild woman after another.
The sex is great, the pursuit before sex is really fun, but in the end, there is not a lot to talk about, so he goes from woman to woman. Suddenly his conscience begins to bother him (Yes judgmental readers, this dude does have a conscience) One day he wakes up and realizes as Low Rawls sings the “Thrill is gone”…
He lets some time pass as he refocuses energy and time back into his children but over time he will be at it again. LOL A nutty repeating cycle of sexual fulfillment and frustration mixed in visits from the love of his life and the day-to-day drone of his married existence.
This “imaginary” guy would hope that you could get everything sexual that you need in one man… Imagine your life with a guy who really could be your friend, who could also be a great date, a great man. A person who could reinforce in you the things you mentioned you really enjoyed; someone to tell you are pretty, pick what you both do for a night out, smart, funny; twisted. LOL He IS out there, I wonder if you can open your heart to that possibility?
I hope you find what this imaginary guy will likely never have.
9/20/2005 3:02 pm
Dear Ms. E. Evie:|
We regret to inform you the smirk is quite permanent. And favorite or no, keep in mind that Matt still checks your Lincoln Park food blog in case you decide to update it one of these years.
Very Truly Yours,
9/24/2005 6:39 pm
Evie, There is nothing wrong with choosing whom your with and when your with them. That is the way it is supposed to work. Sounds like your having fun and enjoying yourself.|
By the way Are you coming to the bloggers convention next month?