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World's Largest Adult Social Network and Sex Personals
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Blossoms from the Fart Garden
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This is my place for Uninsightful Adolescent Ramblings. If anyone actually finds it, reads it, and heaven forbid, makes a comment on it, I'll be very surprised.
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| A Little Animal Trivia |
Feb 11, 2008 6:38 pm
Mood: Goofy, 420 Views |  | Q: What is the only animal on the entire planet to have it's asshole right in the middle of it's back?
A: A Police Horse...  |
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1 comment | |
| Went Shopping Late Last Night... |
Feb 11, 2008 5:58 am
Mood: cheerful, 384 Views |  | I was shopping at the local Pick 'n' Save where I selected:
A quart of 2% milk,
A 1/2 dozen eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of lettuce,
A 1 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1/2 lb. package of bacon.
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk woman standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk woman calmly stated, "You must be single."
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict woman's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk woman to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, "Well, you know what? You're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk woman replied, "'Cause you're fat and ugly." |
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1 comment | |
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| CROP DUSTING |
Feb 11, 2008 12:11 am
Mood: Giggly, 411 Views |  | CROP DUSTING
When you feel the need to fart at work, walk briskly around the office so the nasty smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full "putrid dutch oven cheese fart" has been completely expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the stench has left your pants. Nobody will ever know it was you... That's Crop Dusting. |
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3 Comments | |
| I used to believe... |
Feb 8, 2008 3:36 pm
Mood: Farty, 418 Views |  | When I was a kid my uncle told me that it was a sin to hold back a fart in Church.
The reason he gave - concentrating on holding in the fart would distract your attention from the service, and you were supposed to give all your attention to the service.
He even told me that people are supposed to freely fart in Church whenever they get an urge, that's why the seats are called "pews."
Well, it seemed to make sense at the time. But the first time I let out a loud 'putrid dutch oven cheese fart' in Church, I clearly found out that doing so did NOT meet with my parents' approval.
That's when I began to realize my uncle had been playing with me.
I guess Confucious was correct when he said: "He who farts in Church, sits in his own pew." |
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4 Comments | |
| DOG FOUND |
Feb 8, 2008 2:51 pm
Mood: LOONY, 398 Views |  | DOG FOUND
Male Beagle found at 11:30 AM on Friday February 8th, at corner of 14th and Pine St. Approximately 6 months of age. Mostly brown with patches of white, and black spots. Slightly crooked tail. Blue collar, but no tags. Very friendly.
Tasted Like Chicken. |
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2 Comments | |
| TAKE THE LATEST SEX TEST |
Feb 8, 2008 11:38 am
Mood: Goofy, 626 Views |  | ARE YOU MALE OR FEMALE?
To find out the answer look down...
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/
I said "LOOK" down, not scroll down...
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15 Comments | |
| More Freakin' Snow |
Feb 6, 2008 9:53 am
Mood: adventurous, 425 Views |  | When I was younger, I used to always party on these kind of days. No work, snowed in, within walking distance of the liquor store.
Does anyone wanna party? |
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4 Comments | |
| I wish we would get a little snow... |
Feb 5, 2008 8:06 pm
Mood: Very Lonely - Need Woman, 404 Views |  | I hate winters that don't have any snow. This is the worst one I've been through with no snow. Can't we get any freakin' snow?!! 
It's no wonder that Seattle is the suicide capitol of the US. It rains every day. I'm ready to kill myself, because it's snowing every day, and I CAN'T WORK. I'm stuck at home trying to amuse myself. It's a good thing I have internet access, or I would have been dead awhile ago. 
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5 Comments | |
| Is anyone as horny as I am? after watching the SuperBowl? |
Feb 3, 2008 7:42 pm
Mood: Horny as a 3-peckered goat, 432 Views |  | I'm hornier than a three-peckered billy goat. I wanted the Packers to go all the way, but I was rooting for the Giants. Yea! Nothing would be better than celebrating in bed with a nice warm woman orgasming in bed, how do you feel about it? |
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4 Comments | |
| The Hunt for The Holy Grail |
Feb 1, 2008 9:44 pm
Mood: Loony, 357 Views |  | Announcing the very first oh-so-special 'Hunt for the Holy Grail' Scavenger Hunt.
Don't miss the opportunity to have your blog included in this very interactive and fun meet and greet game. All interested bloggers are asked to submit their blog as one of the stops on the Scavenger Hunt. All interested scavenger hunt players will visit the final list of blogs and determine which site matches which clue.
If there are more than 20 interested players several scavenger hunt games will be played.
On the day of the Scavenger Hunt a list of participating blogs and their links will be posted. The post will also include all the clues necessary to play the hunt for the Holy Grail. Players will be asked to submit their answers via email or on this private post here: The Hunt for The Holy Grail which will give all players a chance to play without time constraints. The Game will run for 4 or 5 days which will allow time to visit the participating blogs and match clues to sites.
A small example: One clue could have a direct quote from a Blogs Tag Line or a small piece of information within.
Complete instructions will be offered when the game is launched.
Have your blog submitted here The Hunt for The Holy Grail |
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0 Comments | |
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| Screaming Out Loud |
Jan 30, 2008 12:21 pm
Mood: Sofa King Whore Knee, 397 Views |  | I'd like everyone to scream the following phrase out loud at the top of your lungs:
Eye em sofa king whore knee!
There, I hope your neighbors all think you're a nutcase now... |
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2 Comments | |
| To link to this blog (emersunbigguns) use [blog emersunbigguns] in your messages. |
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