Charisma  

elizarvs 40F
4 posts
7/25/2005 12:39 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Charisma


I see myself looking at that world around me. Not really knowing what is about to take place or whom I'm about to meet. Looking towards the future, I can see what I want in life, and I can see how I'm going to achieve it. I know my wills and wants. The one thing I can't get ahandle on and that is men. How is it I know what I want and know how to get it, but not able to keep it?
How is it I'm able to grab there attention, but still not able to keep it. Is it that my Charisma of all balance? Do I project myself of being someone or something not I am not? I'm not really concerned about how people see me, because I know who I am, and I like me. Why is it everytime I see someone I share so much in comment with is either not emotionally available, married, attached or even gay? I don't get it. How is it I can feel attracted to someone I can't have? I'm not saying I want everyone I feel connected with, because I don't. There are other prepectives I look at than being connected. Maybe it is because I not ready to see the right one. Maybe my whole preception of man is not really what I want or need. Maybe I'm hiding behind all these things just because I can and don't need to prove myself otherwise.
I don't know why I even think about things like this, I'm only 28, in a week 29, I'm too young to hold myself back from seeing, looking and feeling men. Mmmm...I love men too much to give a care about trying to figure out what I'm not doing right. lol I guess as long as i can connect with them in my mind and body for now i'm content with it all.
Wow this blog really isn't like me to talk about something like this..maybe it was my night just to ramble about nothing...

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