Storytime! (YAY!!!): Break a leg!  

electriccompany 52M
104 posts
8/28/2006 3:13 pm

Last Read:
8/30/2006 3:54 pm

Storytime! (YAY!!!): Break a leg!

This weekend my wife and I went out to a restaurant. While there, I saw a t-shirt that brought back memories. A young, college age girl had a t-shirt with the word "SLAVE" silkscreened on it. This took me back!

A long time ago my sister was wearing a tee like that. Different design, but again just the word "SLAVE" on it. The occasion of the day was having her new boyfriend/want-to-be-fiancé over to our house to meet Mom and Dad and the rest of the immediate family. She had bribed me and my other sister to "BE NICE", but she forgot someone!

Not long after boyfriend arrives, my sister is just giddy! She's looking back and forth between her beau and her Dad. All glassy eyed and just beaming with anticipation about when the moment was going to occur! The moment she was looking for? When Dad got just as goofy, giddy, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as they were about her newfound love gracing us with the honor of proposing engagement.

Did I mention that Dad is a tough sell? Did I also mention that Dad loves his daughters (sons, too) very, very much? Did I also mention that he has a boiling point? ... Keep all that in mind.

Throughout dinner "Sister Slave" was really living up to the word on her tee-shirt! She barely had any time to eat. It's really hard to when you are constantly fetching Worchestershire sauce, more tea, seconds, a fresh napkin, etc., etc., for the Prince. Every little request he uttered was met... by the girl in the "SLAVE" shirt! Without a single solitary "Thank you" in return.

Dad's just taking it all in. One of the daughters he loves was being bossed around by a total stranger invading our home. All while telling us how great he and his family are. (He never let us complete a story from our family history!)

I was still just a "kiddo" in Slave Sis' eyes, but with my objectivity, I could see the needle on Dad's boiler gauge twitching to life. Sis may have been blinded by love! But I knew from personal experience -- this was one slow-building pressure cooker... building and building. Near the end of dinner, to my experienced eye, I could detect the slight evidence of steam subtly emitting from the seams of that boiler. I had read that sign many times when pushing it to the limit. I knew to back off then, but our 'guest' didn't. I caught my other sister's eye. My unattached sister and I had a bond like ESP. We knew the Prince was headed for a critical point. We knew he was headed for trouble.

It made us smile.

Not Mom, though. Mom's lips were pursed and her head was down. She knew too, but she was just trying to will it away... but she knew better.

When my sister's boyfriend saw my other sister and me smiling our big shit-eating-grins, he took it like things were going well! AWWWW! The grateful family was coming around to inevitable approval. "Oops! Dropped my fork. Get me a clean one." Despite no question mark or "Please" inside the previous quotes, the SLAVE was up and off to the kitchen! ....

sssssssssss. Someone needs to check the gauges!

All adjourned to the den for a light desert. More commands and tasks for the slavegirl. Now ... SSSSSSSSS. Steamy room!

It was that glass of tea. The Prince had drunk it all down. He rattled the ice around in the bottom of the glass. Rattle, rattle. Clinky-clink.

"I could use some more tea." The Prince didst declare.


Jerking my head, I looked over at Dad just in time to see his scalp jut forward, making three straight horizontal lines on his forhead. Those lines were like a banner just over his slightly pinched eyebrows and laser-sharp focused, piercing blue, angry eyes.

The Prince and the Slave were still clueless of the Boiler explosion... Until Dad spoke. In the next instant, Dad's voice had become low and almost growling. If a junkyard dog could talk, it would sound like my Dad had. Dirty Harry learned how to talk to punks from my Dad that very day! Dad didn't raise his voice, but the room fell silent. A lion never has to roar in his own den.

"Both your legs broken?"

Silent room. All this was combined with the first really long eyelock the two had had. Dad's mouth closed, Prince's slack jaw ajar.

"W Well,,, no sir." The Prince stuttered.

"Kitchen's that way." Dad thumbed down the hall and the Prince didst scurry, chalice in hand! "We're about to have a pow-wow. Grinners need to find somewhere else to be."

That's called a queue! ESP sister and I immediately buzzed-off to an impromptu game of cards in another room. With the door closed we made big-eyed, blowfish faces at each other and fought back the giggles.

"Never seen anyone actually 'screw the pooch' like that!" I said.
"SHHHH! ... If we're vewwy, vewwy quiet we might catch some drama!" she said. And we silently hunkered down.

Several times that evening we did hear distant, plaintiff cries of a slave pleading "OH, but DAAH-aaah-DEEEEE?!?!" Heard something else of interest on an iced tea sortie. (I knew the way to the kitchen all by myself, pretty-please and thank you.) I did hear a princely argument: "My mother served my father like that. I'm sure that your wife has served you like that as well, right, Mr. Senior ElectricCompany?"

My Mom fielded that one. "Why, yes I did serve him like that at one time... He had had an accident at the plant, and both his legs were broken."

Silence. Iced tea. Back to the card game.

"That clown doesn't have a chance!" I said to my other sister back at our cards.


Thanks to that old school version of pre-marital counseling and the Prince's willingness to hash things out with my folks, combined with "let's take this a step at a time" philosophy. Thanks to all that, my slave sister and the Prince have now been happily married for a few decades. Thanks to that, my Dad got to give away his daughter to The Prince, version 1.9 (Not quite 2.0 and still in Beta, but aren't we all!). Thanks to that, Dad got to meet three more grandkids, before that last heart attack.

I love that tough old bastard!

. . . R.I.P. (for 'bout a decade or two now)


Your turn!

What version are you?

What makes you grin at family get-togethers?

Has a Prince/Princess visited your family's castle?

Did the Prince/Princess deserve what they got?

wants2cyber 42F

8/28/2006 4:32 pm

Thanks for the new post, EC. I love the power I have over you!

My oldest sister fell ever so madly-deeply-truly in love with every guy that asked her out on a date. One such object of affection was not very athletic, unlike my sister. As he worked his damndest to beat her at Zim-Zam in the back yard his pants split front to back revealing his fancy for going commando. When my dad offered him a pair of pants so my mom could sew his rent-in-two pair he said, "No sir, I think I'll just take a towel."

That was the last time he was invited over for a Zim-Zam tourney!

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
8/28/2006 5:23 pm

You are so good at this blogging thing really are.

My sister had married a Kentucky man, and only came once to visit us with their two children. I had asked the men if they could take the kids swimming the next day and let my sister and I have a day out on our own. We were going to head an hour's drive away to do some serious shopping and sister talking. When we came home....he had packed the car up to go......because he hadn't been catered too all day by my sister. I was very much like your dad....and my steam guage was rapidly rising. While they talked, I quietly went out to the car and got my sister and the children's bags. When I carried them inside, he asked me what I was doing. I told him to go home. And when.....or sister wanted to come home, I would bring her. They all stayed....and we had a really good time. My sister has since passed away....and I'm glad that at least we had that time together.

rm_SusieQ27 46F
2093 posts
8/29/2006 4:46 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    MMM..I'm that girl..that's the way we do things here..I'd wait on my fella...people would think I'm weird.
I wait on my man too. Not to the extent of being a doormat though, MHH.. and I hope you don't either. Think of the emancipation of women, we fought for it, don't you know?

Luv n stuff Susie

rm_SusieQ27 46F
2093 posts
8/29/2006 4:55 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    MMM..I'm that girl..that's the way we do things here..I'd wait on my fella...people would think I'm weird.
EC..I readily agree with your father's attitude. There is absolutely NO excuse for bad manners!

My dad is much the same, or was, when he was younger. A big man, over 6 ' and he never raised a hand to either me or my sister. His voice was so booming! When he was angry he only needed to shout and we'd scurry away to lick our wounds... Such whimps, we were! Anyhow, it's shame when parents have to resort to hitting their children. Childhood should be a magical is so short, afterall. Who wants memories of anger and bullying....not me, thanks very much.

Reading your blog took me back to happy times too. I suppose there aren't many people, who come from a family background, with siblings, who don't have memories similar to your own, hun. It made me smile, to think of you stifling your laughter.

Luv n stuff Susie

electriccompany 52M

8/29/2006 6:11 am

Cyber sez:
When my dad offered him a pair of pants so my mom could sew his rent-in-two pair he said, "No sir, I think I'll just take a towel."

Brawny, Bounty or just a Kleenex?

Angel sez:
I told him to go home. And when.....or sister wanted to come home, I would bring her.

So simple and graceful, yet bold and effective. Well played, Angel!

Airborne Ranger 6 sez:
Guy married my cousin was an FBI agent and never missed a chance to let you know that.

He approaches a pimply kid. "Special Weapons Training Agent Guy Cousins, Federal Bureau of Investigations." He flashes his ID. "I'm in the middle of a very, very important assignment!"

"Um. How can I help you, sir?" pimply kid responds.

"Venti Frappacino, easy on the whipped cream, extra caramel and a lemon-poppyseed muffin." He looks both ways, removes his Ray-Bans and leans in, nodding once, "... to go."

Don't be too hard on this guy. In this day and age of emancipated women, it's okay to bust a cap into a femme trainee! Why do you think they call it Women's Sufferage?

Honey Bread, Huny sed:
..that's the way we do things here..I'd wait on my fella...

I suddenly got a hankerin' fer sum Huny wiff mah tea!

SusieQ sez:
Think of the emancipation of women, we fought for it, don't you know?

HEY, SusieQ27, fighting emancipated woman! I'd like you to put on some body armor and meet this FBI friend of a friend of mine. He could really us your soothing effect.

SusieQ also sez:
It made me smile, to think of you stifling your laughter.

I've got a feeling that few of us seldom do and seldom can stifle genuine laughter. It is so hard to do when you have to! Hence the popularity of "LOL", "LMAO" and "ROTFL".

rm_SusieQ27 46F
2093 posts
8/30/2006 12:53 pm

You haven't replied to my reply, on my blog, at all, at all!!!

Come on, get a move on lagger, you!!!

Luv n stuff Susie

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