There Is A God After-all, He helps Those who Help Themselves!!1  

electricbob3 61M
172 posts
11/30/2005 3:17 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

There Is A God After-all, He helps Those who Help Themselves!!1


The snow was blowing east by southeast out of the Cascades Range as I was coming out of Kalmath Falls that cold December night. The guard dog I'd taken with me nuzzled my hand with her wet nose so that when I didn't need both hands on the steering wheel I'd scratch behind her ears. I'd gotten the female Doberman after I'd passed out in a huge bar in Eugene two nights before. I was there with two girls I'd met while selling Orange Barrel 8 Way Hits and they'd insisted that I go. Sleep had been a distant memory of at least 5 days and I'd given away my last gram of Blue Rock to some friends down in Redding California the day before.
I was tired to the point of 'tripping without acid' when we sat down in a booth in a dark corner of the bar. The two girls, can't remember their names but sure remember their fine asses, got up to dance to a decent rock n roll band playing some Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground. I remember thinking that the lead guitar player was real good, and then I don't recall anything until I awoke, under the table of the booth, with a dog growlin' in my face.
The dim light of the pinball machines and exit signs didn't allow me to see very much but I could make out the empty bar, the menecing dog inches away, and a lighted sign hanging over the bar that said, " Olymbia Beer,Fresh From The Mountains". The dog growled louder, I could tell that it was shaking, it's nerves wound tighter than a 2 dollar baptise preacher stuck in a elevator with 7 nuns. I eased my right hand, which had fallen asleep, into the inside pocket of my fringed leather jacket and found the two Slim Jims beef sticks I'd kept as Tweeker food. As I pulled them out of my pocket the dog got madder than if I'd pissed on her head. "whooooa girl. Take it easy girl, that's a good girl. Ya see want daddy has for ya, huh?" The dog seemed to quiet down as my voice indicated that I wasn't a threat to her. After getting the first beef stick opened I slowly handed it out to where the dog could smell it. Seconds later I stood stiffly and hung over while the dog eyed me and woofed down the second beef stick. Noticing a menu above the bar I slowly walked over to it until a small lunch kitchen appeared off to the right. Looking in the big reach-in glass door coolers I spoted a whole ham, at least 5 or 6 pounds of ham. As I set the ham on the steel table the dog watched me in a curious manner while lickin' her lips with her long canine tongue. I cut the first couple of pieces of ham with a dull knife that was on the table and lossed these to the dog. Finding some bread, I fixed a couple sandwiches, grabbed a beer, and went out to sit at the bar.
As I ate the sandwiches I looked around and saw to my relief that the rear doors were double-wide and didn't have an alarm on them because they'll only open outwards, to the rear of the parking lot, by my bus. My bus was a 'Hippie Bus', hand painted artwork shields completely around it, each a different tribal design and hung under each bus window. It was an old rounded 24 passenger 1953 Chevy with the big fenders, huge headlamps, and small flat two piece windshield. "Hmmmmmm," I thought to my self as I looked around the bar. It was huge. Alot bigger than I'd realized when we'd gotten there. I walked down to the first cash register I came to and hit the CASH key. Kling! It popped right opened. "Look at this girl" I called over to the dog who was laying by the stool where I'd eaten the sandwiches. It wasn't alot of money, propably what they leave for the day shift to start. There was two more registers that all yielded the same 100 dollars in cash, and about 20 dollars change. That was 360 dollars, not too bad. I poured a glass of Wild Turkey to celebrate and knocked a good 3 fingers back in one gulp. I'd notice a set of keys in the middle register and so now I was curious to know what they fit.
I had to get a 100 pound gurney bag and dump out the potatoes in the kitchen to hold all the quarters and cigarettes I took from the vending machines and pool tables. There were four cigarette machines, 12 pool tables, 16 pinball machines, including my favorite, Blond Beauties, and four of those newfangled PaC Man machines that everyone thought was stupid. I could barely get the sack of money to the rear doors. Stacked by the doors was 18 cases of assorted whiskey, bourbon, Volka, Gin, wines, and bottles of mixers and I'd stopped at 40 cases of different beer I carried from where they had it stored in a backroom. Next to the beer was the drum set taken off of the band stage, four amps, a Marshall half stack, two Fender Twin Reverbs, called the Evil Twins, and a Ampeg Bass 300. The P.A. was stacked to the left of the double doors, and as I finished setting the monitor speakers down I noticed that it was starting to show signs of the sky lightening up. Dawn was near, I'd better get a move on it.
I backed the bus up to the double doors that I'd swung wide and loaded the bus in less than 20 minutes. It was full dawn now and as I went back into the kitchen to fix a couple more ham sandwiches for the road I realized that the guard dog had gotten out of the bar. Oh well, hope she finds her way home. I piled ham on four pieces of bread, added cheese and pickles, and was searching in the reach in coolers for more mayonaise when I picked up a gallon jar of mustard......but it wasn't mustard. I screwed the lid off and looked inside. money!!! Lots of it, folded and stuffed into the gallon jar as tightly as possible. This was the bar owners 'bank' I guessed, and grabbing up the food I hurried for the bus. I climbed the three steps to the drivers seat and started to laugh as I saw the Doberman laying on the old sofa I'd replace the bus seats with. " So, you're coming too eh girl ?"
I'd spent over $600 dollars in quarters before this snow hit and now I was headed to Las Vegas where a man with lots of quarters doesn't drawn much attention. I decided to name the dog, Slim Jim, she seemed to like it.

Become a member to create a blog