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Waking Up in Heaven
Waking Up in Heaven
I woke up today in a state of grace.
My newfound playmate and I had spent a wonderfual day together. Our relationship has reached that pleasant juncture where we now feel comfortable together, but still hang on to the excitement and newness of that which is not completely familiar.
While we were lolling and enjoying the afterglow, my True Love called. She had felt us from 1800 miles away (and had joined in the fun, in perfect synch, through our first 3 climaxes...) What a joy to be able to celebrate together, and for her to welcome J into our intimacy.
So I woke with no body beside me this morning, yet I do not feel alone, nor do I feel limited by my relationships. I have felt this feeling before, even in monogamy, but perhaps I know it - in my mind, my heart and my body - in a way I have never known it before.
I walked outside my house to find a hot air balloon floating by (see pic). This is a regular occurrence, but one which never gets old. Balloons are, to me, like droplets of joy that float above and gently settle on the earth. Each time I see one I cry out in a childlike voice in celebration, "Balloon! Ballllooon!"
Like our souls balloons are fueled by an intense heat that, when used judiciously, moves us with great gentleness. Balloons offer no illusion of control. They choose to expand or contract, and thus move up or down, by how much heat/passion is allowed to fill them at one time, and they choose whether or not it is safe to fly at all. But this is the extent of their control. They exist in a state of complete trust that they can rely entirely on the winds to carry them from a safe and happy start to a safe and happy (and unknown!) destination.
My state of relationship is no different. I am living in a state of willful surrender that exemplifies a faith far greater than what I have found in any dogma, for heaven need not be some far off reward for a life of restraint, but the atmosphere that we choose in which to take flight this very morning.
5/18/2006 3:32 pm
Once again you take my breath up up and away....|