Masturbation and Self-appreciation  

earthShiva 59M
270 posts
7/20/2006 8:18 am

Last Read:
7/25/2006 5:53 pm

Masturbation and Self-appreciation

It occurred to me yesterday that I cannot remember the last time I masturbated. I suppose this is a natural outcome of receiving the loving attention of two very frisky women.

Forget pooches or cigarettes. Masturbation is truly man's best friend. The relentless hold that our libidos impose on us would be simply unbearable without it, especially in those early years when our social and emotional skills simply do not match up with our physical desires. It is somehow unfortunate that masturbation is seen as a fall-back when one cannot find a partner. I think it is a sign of my own general boorishness that masturbating has often become a rather perfunctory act - the proverbial penile sneeze - and only occasionally an act that expresses self-appreciation to the extent that it could. Underlying the way in which I sell myself short is a highly complex mix of resentment of tyrannical libido and more than a little self-judgment in the fact that I am in that moment without a partner.

Certainly there were plenty of times in my life when available time and access to partners were abundant enough that I had no need to take matters into my own hands, yet I always did from time to time. Self-pleasure is quite different from receiving someone else's attention. There's a huge difference when there is an energy transfer between two people, and there is a mechanical difference in that another person's touch is somewhat unpredictable and out of our control. There's great magic in that, but there is something unique and very special in the absolute familiarity and control of one's own touch, not to mention the sense of feeling both the giving and receiving of the act.

Now, things are a little different for me. I realize I have been "saving myself" for my lovers, fearful of somehow not providing enough of myself to them. I have to say there is a bit of a loss in this. It's sort of like having a little brother that you always thought was kind of a jerk, and then having him go off to camp and realizing how much fun you actually had with him while you were wishing he were someone else.

So I think I'll start setting aside time for a few dates with myself. The ladies may just have to wait for me to re-charge from time to time. In the long run, I think I'll recover more of myself and be a better lover for it. We'll see.

CB_2 51F

7/20/2006 12:03 pm

Thinking about it, I have always masturbated more when I have a partner. When I was married it was because we had sex drives that were completely incompatible (mine high, his low). Then, with the guy who introduced me to Real Sex, I was just horny all the time so had to masturbate when we were apart to stay sane - and as we only saw each other once a fortnight, there was a lot of personal assistance!

After we split up, it kind of dwindled a bit. Now that I am with someone new, I await with interest what my body tells me it wants to do!

Blogito ergo sum.

earthShiva replies on 7/20/2006 10:57 pm:
Fascinating, and very consistnt with the whole Shiva/Shakti archetype (not to mention conventional wisdom of male/female sexual response...) Shiva provides the inspiration (sexual desire) and Shakti turns it into something real. In the absense of the inspiration, Shakti manifests nothing. I'm not much of a scholar of Hindu mythology, but I'm going to go hunting and see if there are any masturbation myths in their pantheon.

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
7/20/2006 7:09 pm

Well, it's a lot better to plan for masturbation than a funeral I suppose.

Stroke On!

earthShiva replies on 7/20/2006 11:02 pm:
I see no reason to ever plan for my funeral. If ever there were something that is someone else's problem, that's the one!

rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
7/20/2006 10:55 pm

Too me, I think it's the satisfaction level. I can have quick sex but yet sometimes that's not enough. You've commented before on your Tantric knowledge so I assume that your time in bed is possibly a little longer than the 5 minute average. Don't know if this is correct reasoning... just thinking outloud... and I do the same thing, if I know I have a partner expecting a "good time", it only seems fair that I don't dissapate the ability and performance of the encounter.

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