Parental Advice  

duststormdiva 51F
7253 posts
10/15/2005 10:04 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Parental Advice

Why is it those without children seem to act as the expert on raising children?

By baby daughter, 8, is absolutely beautiful, but as beautiful as she is she is more stubborn. When it comes to doing chores, she will outright tell you no and it takes a lot of creative communication to get her to do something she does not want to do.

She is sharp as a tack. She has a speech problem, and when she was younger, I had a very hard time understanding her. My oldest daughter understood and translated to me. In the mean times she had to think of other ways to tell me things so that I could understand her. I remember her being around four and she had told me the same thing about three different ways until I understood her words. Talk about creative, this child is incredible.

As stubborn as she is now, she was even more stubborn when she was younger and almost impossible to raise. I was beginning to think that I was raising a prisoner in the making.

When I started this house remodeling thing my friend would be here to help when I was at work. She would ask my girls to do something and my oldest would just jump right in and help. My baby would tell her "no." Plain and simple "NO!"

My friend, I'll call her Danielle, who has never had children told me I had to do something about my daughters attitude. I needed to beat her ass or something. I explained to Danielle, that the ass beatings never worked for her, because the more she was whipped, or the harder I whipped, she would just do whatever it was she was being punished for even more. I had to be creative and teach her compromise. Once I figured this out, parenting my stubborn little girl was easier.

I have to admit I have failed at not following up with what I asked the kids to do. Like chores for instance, I ask the kids to do them, they don't. It's not just my baby, but it's all three of my kids. This behavior I have no one to blame but myself, because I should have been teaching them all their lives. I didn't, I am paying for it now.

My oldest daughter will say she'll do something, but never do it, much like my son. My baby will just outright tell me "NO!"

This particular day Danielle was "giving me advice" on how to raise my children, I was very tired and emotional and I ended up crying. When I am in that state of mind, I can't think straight.

All in all my kids really aren't that bad. Most times it's not the kids fault they are how they are. Ass whippings are not always the answer. Forcing a child to do something they don't want to do is a near failure in itself. Taking away their favorite anything does not always accomplish a goal, but shows them that it's okay to take things away from others. Bribing is one of the worse ways to get your kids to do things. Compromise works sometimes. But with my children, I find that the more time I spend with them, whether it is right there washing those dishes or picking up that room, or reading that Junie B. Jones book, I recieve more positive results.

I feel that my friends problem with my daughter that day was, she was always trying to push her into a chore to do on her own, whereas my friend was working with my other daughter. The youngest daughter felt left out.

Creative and caring parents will come up with ideas that will encourage a more positive behavior.

I love those seminars I go to that help me in bettering my skills as a teacher. Most times I can use those skills and implement them into my life as a mother.


DustStormDiva



keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
10/15/2005 1:47 pm

If you are always looking to improve, you will eventually find ways to improve...


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
10/16/2005 11:15 am

keithcancook for several years now I have said, that there is always something to change about myself. When I don't like myself, I change what it is I don't like.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
10/18/2005 5:32 pm

BigGirlzRSweet That would be nice if the parents had access and the funds to go to those seminars. Great to meet a fellow teacher on this site.

DustStormDiva


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