Kids . . . Can't Live Without Them, Can't Kill Them!  

duststormdiva 51F
7253 posts
2/17/2006 6:07 am

Last Read:
12/24/2007 4:58 pm

Kids . . . Can't Live Without Them, Can't Kill Them!


The day I had with kids yesterday, I felt this was very appropriate. No, I am not talking my own children, but a couple of the 120 kids I teach. I got this in an email. I'd thought I'd share.

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students ... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"


"No Way!"

"Yes, way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so! "

God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you?


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.

In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Inspirational Thought:
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

~ Abraham Lincoln ~


DustStormDiva



TTigerAtty 62M

2/17/2006 6:56 am

Great post! Two daughters, eh? 9 and 13? It could be worse ... two 16 year-old boys! You'll survive, Dusty!


slidein2meplz 62F
1994 posts
2/17/2006 9:03 am

Yep...that sounds 'bout right. Cute/funny post. Made me giggle.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/17/2006 4:11 pm

    Quoting TTigerAtty:
    Great post! Two daughters, eh? 9 and 13? It could be worse ... two 16 year-old boys! You'll survive, Dusty!
I'd raise boys anyday over girls! Then again after the events of the past few days, I think I might beg to differ.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/17/2006 4:12 pm

    Quoting slidein2meplz:
    Yep...that sounds 'bout right. Cute/funny post. Made me giggle.
Glad you got a giggle out of it, I know I did.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/17/2006 4:13 pm

    Quoting sweetneeds2:
    OMG...I luv visiting you!!! So true...so Funny...LMAO...now I need a few aspirin!!!!~Sweet~
This week has been pretty shitty with the students at school! I need more than a few beers!

DustStormDiva


goldinboy2 60M

2/18/2006 7:26 am

Good post, I'm lucky in a way as I still relate to them In the world there in, much different than the one I grew up in. Unlucky for never having any of my own but then someone has to relate to the ones that can't relate to there own parents. The great creators big picture you know.


Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
2/18/2006 10:25 am

As usual, great post Diva! I don't have children, neices or nephews, but I have a lot of friends with children and I was a child (lol!) so can relate from that. LOL! I also really love the inspirational thought at the end of your post. So true.

Thanks Diva! Whisper...

P.S. I sent you a little note via the mail. Please check it out and let me know what you think!


TunedDopedArras 56M

2/18/2006 12:04 pm

great post.
here's the new "old saying"
you can send a girl to college for what it costs to keep a boy out of jail.

keep smiling
b


ticktock500 44M

2/18/2006 3:41 pm

i like the nursing home thing-we used to remind our parents of it at family gatherings.


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/19/2006 2:27 pm

    Quoting goldinboy2:
    Good post, I'm lucky in a way as I still relate to them In the world there in, much different than the one I grew up in. Unlucky for never having any of my own but then someone has to relate to the ones that can't relate to there own parents. The great creators big picture you know.
It takes a special person to be able to relate to kids. For the most part I can do that, but there are certain kids... argh!

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/19/2006 2:30 pm

    Quoting Whispersoftly5:
    As usual, great post Diva! I don't have children, neices or nephews, but I have a lot of friends with children and I was a child (lol!) so can relate from that. LOL! I also really love the inspirational thought at the end of your post. So true.

    Thanks Diva! Whisper...

    P.S. I sent you a little note via the mail. Please check it out and let me know what you think!
I got your email and your most recent one too. HOT, very hot.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/19/2006 2:33 pm

    Quoting TunedDopedArras:
    great post.
    here's the new "old saying"
    you can send a girl to college for what it costs to keep a boy out of jail.

    keep smiling
    b
That's a thought, but I have one question. If you send her to college to keep the boy out of jail, what's going to keep the college boys out of jail?

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/19/2006 2:34 pm

    Quoting ticktock500:
    i like the nursing home thing-we used to remind our parents of it at family gatherings.
That's too funny. Oh nice ass!

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/19/2006 2:35 pm

I know many people who say that, but their heart is captured when they have their own. You wait and see.

DustStormDiva


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
2/19/2006 8:51 pm

great post I loved it.


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
2/20/2006 8:35 am

Thanks!

DustStormDiva


Become a member to create a blog