I Can Be Such A Bitch  

duststormdiva 51F
7253 posts
11/1/2005 4:29 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I Can Be Such A Bitch

The other day I blogged (You Never Know . . .) about a friend of mine who decided he was too good to be my friend because I am having an affair with a married man.

Well the past couple of days on his Y! away message there have been messages directed to me. The first one, I was almost sure was targeted to me said, "Say hello first sometime." He has always told me that he wants me to take the initiative to say hi sometimes.

The second message I saw was today, it said, "Hello beautiful where are you?" Again, I felt that comment was to me because he has always called me "beautiful" or make comments like, "you're a looker".

What finally convinced me those away messages were for me was the last one today, "Billie Billie Billie"

I was irritated, and I still am. But I thought I'd give him a little message anyway, I thought I was ready to talk to him.

dusty: Missing me?

Him: yeap

Him: anyway sorry about last week

dusty: even took me off your contact list.

dusty: Twice in like a few months.

Him: well you were pissed and i well fuck me

dusty: I don't even want to get into it.

Him: anyway i was thinking of you when i said all that i did say

Him: i do like and respect you

Him: we wont just wanted to let you know

Him: oh and i got sum this weekend

dusty: I am sure you were thinking of me, but there was fuel already added to your fire when you spouted off to me. Yes it pissed me off, and I know now not to tell you personal things anymore.

Him: there are certain things that bug me yes sorry but we all have our pet peeves

Him: I apologize your life is yours

dusty: You know I dont' think I am ready to talk to you right now. I was very hurt by your words. I do accept your apology, but I am not ready to talk to you right now.

dusty: I'll talk to you later when I am no longer pissed.

dusty: Else I won't be nice.

Him: ok fine i understand

Him: either way i'm a big boy and can take it your chioce.

Him: Have a good day billie take care

dusty: laters.

Him: I won't message you anymore i'll leave it to you when you get over being pissed

Him: later

Five years ago I would have accepted his apology and forgiven him, and gone on. As I get older I don't forgive that easy.

After our conversation, I thought of the blessings I have received just today, see Pumpkin Smashing, and perhaps I should have just said, "All is forgiven."

But the devil on my left shoulder says, "This is not the first time he tried to do this to you. He's a dick! Just forget about him."

The angel on my right, "Billie, you need to forgive him."

Now I feel bad, but I am too stubborn to message him right now.


imin2film 48M

11/1/2005 8:46 pm

Don't feel bad.

digdug41 49M

11/1/2005 9:03 pm

If he creats feelings in you you should just tell him whats on your mind or the burden will be yours not his

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
11/1/2005 10:13 pm

imin2film every bit of logic in me tells me that I have no need to feel bad, but every bit of empathy tells me I need to forgive him.


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
11/1/2005 10:14 pm

digdug41 point well taken.


MillsShipsGayly 51M

11/2/2005 8:57 am

You can message me sweety ....

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
11/2/2005 9:29 am

Michael_IG65 I just might do that. You travel to Columbus. I used to live in Lancaster which is approximately 45 miles SE of Columbus. I have been in Arizona now for nearly seven years. I am going back to visit my friends in Ohio this coming summer.


1023 posts
11/2/2005 4:11 pm

You know you've the right to stick to your guns, the disposability and anymonity of the web make it easy to do as such. If you need someone to fill his contact space, I promise to be no less than turned on by whatever intimacy with whoever you choose and I promise not to judge for my glass house is a REALLY big target (sometimes I'm a bad speller). ^_^

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
11/2/2005 9:58 pm

HORNYVIKING722 I would be glad no honored to have you as a contact on my favorite chat program.



11/6/2005 7:58 am

the issue is his not yours. If he can't accept that life happens in odd places and circumstances then perhaps he needs to take a long look at the world friends are supposed to be the people who know you and like you anyways obviously this guy has a hangup with you because your life happened outside his perfect world view i would let him stew for six months eventually if he really is your friend he will either get over it. If he doesnt get over it i would have to queation both the strength of his freindship for you and his level of maturity.

I am a big fan of let he who is without sin cast the first stone (not that i am religious but its a good motto to live by)

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
11/6/2005 10:31 am

Serena_cd_slut well, I don't knwo that I will wait six months, because I just am not that way, but I will take your advice into consideration. I agree with your last sentence.


rm_TwiztedCharm 56M
456 posts
11/6/2005 11:45 am

It's not being a bitch to expect respect from your friends and for them not to judge you. You are a big girl and I am sure quite capable of making desions for yourself. Please Thy Self and demand respect or you'll never get it.

You have every right to be pissed

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
11/6/2005 2:59 pm

TwiztedCharm Yes, that is pretty much what I have been thinking. I have not lost any sleep over the fact that my reaction was as it was.


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