Holla Back  

duststormdiva 51F
7253 posts
1/7/2006 11:34 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Holla Back

Direct quote from Urban Dictionary for the definition of a Holla Back Girl:

"A girl that is willing to be treated like a doormat or booty call. She is a girl that will allow guys to do whatever they want with her and will just wait for them to 'holla back' at them.

Gwen Stefani uses the term brilliantly in her song "Hollaback Girl", both as a simile and a metaphor. She’s letting the guys know that she ain’t a booty call and that she’s not gonna be sitting around waiting for them to “holla back”. She’s “been around the track a few times” so it’s not gonna happen again. She uses the cheerleading terminology as a metaphor, she’s a “squad” leader not a follower."

Have you ever been a holla back girl/guy?

I used to be in my younger days, I was niave.

Since I have been an adult I have been the one who has called upon my guy friends for some fun, and yes, they have called me as well.

I have wondered with the relationship that I am in with the married man if I am considered a "holla back girl". But then I realized that I think it's an even trade. I contact him just as often as he contacts me for some fun.

Have I allowed myself to wait for that phone call? Unfortunately, yes I have when we have had tenative plans.

Do I let him do whatever he wants to me? No, because we have a respect for each other and we don't cross over that line of trust.

Am I a booty call? This is a tough one to answer, because I think we are both a booty call for each other. But our relationship goes much deeper (no pun intended) then sexual. We talk, we get to know each other, we vent to each other, we listen to each other, we like being there for each other, we respect each other, and we have a general care for each other.

I learned some stuff about myself through this relationship I have with him. It's inevitable that our relationship must come to an end sometime. One might think that I am going to miss the sex, well, yes I will, because he is incredible, that's besides the point. But I have found one of the most awesome friends a person could ever ask for. I will miss his friendship most. Even though the sex is great, the friendship is strong.

When the unfortunate day comes that we have to stop seeing each other, more than likely I'll have to cut it off totally and completely, until I can deal with the emotions I have for him.

But, in essence, I ain't no holla back girl!


DustStormDiva



expatbrit49 62M

1/7/2006 11:43 am

lol I think that might just be what I have been looking for

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/7/2006 11:54 am

    Quoting expatbrit49:
    lol I think that might just be what I have been looking for
I am sure they are not hard to find.

DustStormDiva


raptor880 39M

1/7/2006 11:54 am

Where can I get this urban dictionary? sometimes americans speak a whole other language.


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/7/2006 12:29 pm

    Quoting raptor880:
    Where can I get this urban dictionary? sometimes americans speak a whole other language.
Thanks for stopping by raptor880. I just did a search on the "g" for "holla back girl" and found the link.

DustStormDiva


ticktock500 44M

1/7/2006 12:39 pm

sighs and nods


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/7/2006 1:42 pm

*hugs*

DustStormDiva


slidein2meplz 62F
1994 posts
1/7/2006 1:53 pm

I've heard that song and had no clue what it meant. Course, I'm not anywhere near a hip/hop sort....or or whatever it is they do.

Have I been one? Probably...am I now...no...will I ever be again...doubtful.

I think it all depends on what is going on in my life at that moment and who it involves.

Thanks for the explanation...and the question...it certainly does make you stop and think about it. Maybe even wake someone up who possibly doesn't see that perhaps he or she is in that kind of relationship....and maybe they thought it was more but in reality they find it applies.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


goldinboy2 60M

1/7/2006 5:54 pm

Holla back Hummm I don't think so more like sugardaddy but I have stopped doning that to. Well almost I have a lady friend I help out a lot more than I should.


digdug41 49M

1/7/2006 6:02 pm

I dont think what you described falls under a holla back girl nor is it a booty call I think what you have with this married guy of yours is a comfort zone because you get comfort from it and not just sex,So a comfort zone is more appropriate from my outside looking in view I know because I had one too

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


ember700 49F
57 posts
1/7/2006 7:07 pm

D, ya I used be a holla back girl, I called it doormat, another word for it was marriage! LOL But not anymore, got divorced, you go girl!!! I do have booty calls but on my terms, so I ain't no hollaback girl.
E
thxxx for the smile


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/7/2006 10:40 pm

    Quoting slidein2meplz:
    I've heard that song and had no clue what it meant. Course, I'm not anywhere near a hip/hop sort....or or whatever it is they do.

    Have I been one? Probably...am I now...no...will I ever be again...doubtful.

    I think it all depends on what is going on in my life at that moment and who it involves.

    Thanks for the explanation...and the question...it certainly does make you stop and think about it. Maybe even wake someone up who possibly doesn't see that perhaps he or she is in that kind of relationship....and maybe they thought it was more but in reality they find it applies.
I think we all have probably been one at one time in our lives or another.

You're welcome.

DustStormDiva


rm_jynxgurl 30F
209 posts
1/7/2006 11:35 pm

hmm, this is making me think. I might be a hollaback person cuz I forgive too easily and not for the right reason. Seeing poeple in pain brings me pain greater than thier own, I cant stand it!! so when someone says they feel bad and asks forgiveness, regardless of how bad they hurt me, I have to forgive them... So yes I am very sad to say that I am a "hollaback girl"... damn what is with all the blogs tonight making me depressed!!!

ps hope that you and your guy can one day be good friends...


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/7/2006 11:56 pm

    Quoting goldinboy2:
    Holla back Hummm I don't think so more like sugardaddy but I have stopped doning that to. Well almost I have a lady friend I help out a lot more than I should.
I have wondered about sugar daddies. My sister has always managed to land one. But I don't know that I could ever rely on another to pay my bills or whatever it is that a sugar daddy does for a woman. I am too independent.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/7/2006 11:58 pm

    Quoting ember700:
    D, ya I used be a holla back girl, I called it doormat, another word for it was marriage! LOL But not anymore, got divorced, you go girl!!! I do have booty calls but on my terms, so I ain't no hollaback girl.
    E
    thxxx for the smile
I am glad I could make you smile. I was a doormat for years, but not just by men, but by everyone. I always let people walk over me, but I found my backbone and that does not happen anymore.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/8/2006 12:00 am

    Quoting digdug41:
    I dont think what you described falls under a holla back girl nor is it a booty call I think what you have with this married guy of yours is a comfort zone because you get comfort from it and not just sex,So a comfort zone is more appropriate from my outside looking in view I know because I had one too
I don't know why my responses to you don't appear sometimes. Damnit to hell. I like what you say about being in a comfort zone. That defines it much better. Thanks for your input.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/8/2006 3:31 am

    Quoting ReticentDevil:
    Have you ever been a holla back girl/guy?

    no.....but i sure as hell would like to try....having girls only call when they're horny? their only interested in me for the sex? where do i sign up for that sort of thing?
Damn, and you live so far away! I'd be calling you every day, sometimes three and four times a day! You'd be my holla back boy.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/8/2006 3:39 am

    Quoting rm_jynxgurl:
    hmm, this is making me think. I might be a hollaback person cuz I forgive too easily and not for the right reason. Seeing poeple in pain brings me pain greater than thier own, I cant stand it!! so when someone says they feel bad and asks forgiveness, regardless of how bad they hurt me, I have to forgive them... So yes I am very sad to say that I am a "hollaback girl"... damn what is with all the blogs tonight making me depressed!!!

    ps hope that you and your guy can one day be good friends...
You aren't a holla back girl. You just care a lot about people and that is awesome. I forgive very easily as well. But I find the older I get the more it takes for someone to get that respect back once they have hurt me. They must prove themselves to me.

My guy friend and I are very good friends. I treasure his friendship deep with in my heart. He knows that.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/8/2006 4:23 am

    Quoting ReticentDevil:
    hmmm....i'll be going to visit my mother in pheonix this spring.......but she's a "planner"....i'll never get a moment of unscheduled time.......so close, yet so far......ha - we could have taken a bath
Ask her for a night off. Tell her you have a friend you'd like to spend the evening with. We could make it happen. But then again, you may not want that bath... You know all nakey and all.

DustStormDiva


goldinboy2 60M

1/8/2006 6:18 am

Well I've known this woman since high school and she trys real hard to get by has a teenager in high school still and the way I look at it as long as I can afford to help her I will. Has nothing to do with sex although we do pleasure each other on occasion, She works two jobs and has little time for anything else besides her kids.


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/8/2006 9:03 am

    Quoting goldinboy2:
    Well I've known this woman since high school and she trys real hard to get by has a teenager in high school still and the way I look at it as long as I can afford to help her I will. Has nothing to do with sex although we do pleasure each other on occasion, She works two jobs and has little time for anything else besides her kids.
You will be greatly blessed for your actions. God Bless you.

DustStormDiva


elysianpleasure 47M

1/8/2006 5:13 pm

Is it Holla Back if you are there for one another... bringing but also receiving pleasure from one another? Botty calls are different if they are on mutual terms. It sounds like you are giving and receiving... and it isn't a "sugar daddy" because it isn't about money. I don't actually get this Holla Back thing. It seems to me if you want someone to just do your bidding... then variety is the spice of life. There are enough weak misguided souls in the universe for those who want to prey. If you are going to be with someone over and over (more my speed)... there has to be more there intelluctually and mentally.


Sorceror07 54M

1/8/2006 8:32 pm

"holla back" implies a using of sorts, of unrecriprocated emotions, a one sided relationship, i don't think that applies to your situation as there really seems to be a mutual and even exchange there. it's unfortunate he's married though, that is probably keeping your relationship from growing... and it is unlikely that will change, sadly enough

please be careful though. my little sister had a relationship with a married man, and got pregnant. she wanted to keep it, he wanted her to abort it... he caused many an ugly scene too and she moved from NY to Fla into my parent's house. my nephew is 2 years old now, his dad is a deadbeat dad and only saw his son once.

don't let yourself get hurt.

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/8/2006 10:23 pm

    Quoting elysianpleasure:
    Is it Holla Back if you are there for one another... bringing but also receiving pleasure from one another? Botty calls are different if they are on mutual terms. It sounds like you are giving and receiving... and it isn't a "sugar daddy" because it isn't about money. I don't actually get this Holla Back thing. It seems to me if you want someone to just do your bidding... then variety is the spice of life. There are enough weak misguided souls in the universe for those who want to prey. If you are going to be with someone over and over (more my speed)... there has to be more there intelluctually and mentally.
It's both. He is a wonderful man.

DustStormDiva


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/8/2006 10:25 pm

    Quoting Sorceror07:
    "holla back" implies a using of sorts, of unrecriprocated emotions, a one sided relationship, i don't think that applies to your situation as there really seems to be a mutual and even exchange there. it's unfortunate he's married though, that is probably keeping your relationship from growing... and it is unlikely that will change, sadly enough

    please be careful though. my little sister had a relationship with a married man, and got pregnant. she wanted to keep it, he wanted her to abort it... he caused many an ugly scene too and she moved from NY to Fla into my parent's house. my nephew is 2 years old now, his dad is a deadbeat dad and only saw his son once.

    don't let yourself get hurt.
That is the last thing he wants is for me to get hurt. I tell him that if I get hurt, it's my fault, because I knew what I was getting into when I got into it.

DustStormDiva


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