Fakes, players, head gamers... whatever you want to call them.  

duststormdiva 51F
7253 posts
6/1/2005 7:39 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Fakes, players, head gamers... whatever you want to call them.

I found someone who fits the title to this blog. He lives about 3 1/2 hours from here and said he had no trouble traveling. He caught me online one night and we decided to meet. Although it was already late in the evening, he said he would come. I didn't really believe him, but welcomed the challenge anyway. His picture is very nice, and when talking to him online or on the phone, he was always very very polite. Why would I ever think he was fullacrap?

He would have arrived at 4 in the morning, and I was going to try to stay up, but ended up falling asleep, but only after I had set a couple of alarms and called him and left a message telling him to call me when he got in town.

Well, 8:00 the next morning, I woke up, vaguely remembering the alarms going off at 4 in the morning. But they did go off. I checked my cell phone to see if he had called and there were no missed calls. I thought I had not heard the phone.

One would more than likely be upset that they had been stood up, and I might have been upset had I stayed up waiting like a fool. That's okay, I really am not upset, I never fully expected him to drive all the way from Phoenix to here that night anyway.

I wonder what was going on in his mind though. I wonder if he was laughing to himself thinking it was funny that I may have possibly and actually waited up all night to meet him. Was he really going to come and see me? Did he get hurt on his way here? Was he just being an arrogant ass thinking that he was intentionally standing me up?

In all actuality, I hope he is okay and didn't get in a car accident, if he truly was on his way to see me.

If he thought he was being cute by standing me up in the middle of the night, well, I hope he enjoyed his laugh. I am way more confident in myself to let it bother me that he felt it would be humorous to leave me hanging. And to let you in on a little secret, I didn't lose one bit of sleep over it.

Is there anyone else who has been stood up by a potential meeting from an acquaintance from this site? Would you like to talk about it and tell me how you felt about it?


no_strings_grrl 44F

6/1/2005 9:13 pm

I haven't actually been stood up, but I have chatted with folks who's profiles indicated they wanted to meet and play. They read my profile, saw my pics, we flirted and had some sexy chat, and then when I suggest we meet....the chatting stops.

I've learned over time that there are a lot of people who like to flirt, chat, and talk about meeting but never have any intention of meeting you in person. Or maybe they chicken out...I'm not sure. Some of them play the game right up to the point of deciding when and where, and then they drop you.

It sucks, and to be honest, you may run into more of them than people who actually will meet you. But if you stick with it, you will learn to not waste much time with emails and phone calls that go on for days or weeks. Here's how I handle it:

First off, after receiving an email (or a reply to your initial one), arrange to chat on YIM, or MSN or whatever you have.

Chat a bit and find out some basics about them - married, single, kids, looking for love or a fuck, etc. Compare their answers with their profile and address any inconsistencies right then. Definitely ask two things: 1- How long have you been on AdultFriendFinder? and 2- Have you ever met anyone off of here yet? This will tell you a lot about how serious they are.

Don't chat for more than 2 or 3 sessions without exchanging cell phone numbers.

Once you have exchanged cell phone #'s, arrange a meeting with 2 or 3 calls.

Doing these things should allow you to spend no more than a week or so cultivating. Anything more than that is probably bullshit - unless special circumstances apply and you do feel there's a connection. There are exceptions. The point is: Decide when and where to meet ASAP. The 'getting to know you' should be done in person for the most part. After all, isn't that why we're here?

You seem to be quite intelligent and well spoken. Good luck and hang in there. AND FORGET THAT LOSER!

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
6/1/2005 10:08 pm

Thanks for your advise no_strings. I actually follow those rules already. As soon as he and I established a connection, or so I thought, we started chatting on yahoo. He gave me his cell number in the very beginning. I never called him. I am pretty new to this type of thing so I was very cautious. I am in no way upset about him not coming to meet me, I actually thought he was full of it. His pretty picture and his gentlmanly manner gave me the impression that he was for real. But hey, you never know until you try.

I don't wish ill wishes upon him, I just hope he does not do this to someone who might not be as emotionally strong as I am.

Now, on to others who are for real. Next?!?


no_strings_grrl 44F

6/4/2005 8:45 pm

You go girl!

Become a member to create a blog