Yikes - my X-boyfriend just broke up with me because I am happy  

druidrocker 62F
890 posts
9/9/2006 12:03 pm
Yikes - my X-boyfriend just broke up with me because I am happy

I broke up w/a guy I meet here. We meet and dated for about one and a half years. If you have read anything I wrote - even at my worst I am a positive kind a person. I did everything I could think of to make this man a happy person - and everything I did was greeted w/the same attitude you will read below.

I finally broke up w/him back in April - when I told him I didn't want to date him any longer - I meant it when I said we could still be friends - I said it and meant it because I still hoped that somehow I could dispel the overwhelming negativity that is his life.

Normally I wouldn't share somebody's private thoughts but I am fairly sure he will never see this and none of you know him. I just had to share this because it is such a shock to me that he just realized we broke up - and his reaction is kinda strange to me.

See - he called me on my cell phone as I was traveling to WI and told me I was crazy for making the trip. I told him I was OK and that everything would be fine. He asked me to write and tell him how my trip went when I got back. I sent him a copy of the blog I wrote about the trip - figuring it didn't include anything graphic about what I did there and it gave a fairly honest account of how the trip went.

Below is his response to that e-mail. To say I am somewhat at a loss for words would put it mildly. But - really - I shouldn't be because this is a perfect indication of his attitude about life in general - he never got the concept that life gives you what you put into it.

"OK...........I need to forward your e-mail to my psychologist to have it deciphered!? lol.
WOW.....some heavy stuff there!
From what I can translate, it sounds like you don't regret the trip at all, you met your soulmate and maybe there will be a move to Wisconsin in the future???
Don't get mad at me as this is just my opinion, but I don't understand your infatuation with the AdultFriendFinder site.
My membership has expired and I will NEVER go onto that site again.
Let me tell you...I have met several woman in the past 2 months...every psycho, loser, fake-phony-fraud, mentally/emotionally scary unstable
woman who has NO life except to go on AdultFriendFinder every night and fantasize about the man she will never meet.
I have met some of the weirdest woman imaginable thru that site.
I even told my psychologist about that site and the type of women I was meeting. She actually checked it out and told me 2 weeks later she
could not believe someone with my intelligence would even give that site a second thought ... sort of a back handed compliment!
I am making excellent progress with her.
I have decided (along with her agreeing) that I am just better off by myself.
I am slowly reverting back to being the loner that I am meant to be...no more headaches, heartaches or B.S....just need to fight the loneliness and occupy my mind.
I can't wait for my trip to B.C.
When I hike back into the wilderness and just sit there amongst the evergreens and listen to the deafening silence of the forest...I will
realize where I belong and who I truly am...the loner searching for inner peace and happiness... which cannot be found thru any relationship
with another human being.
You have moved on and are discovering new friends and adventures.
I know deep inside that you never really wanted to remain friends with me.
Giving you back your stuff in July was your closure. I knew I would probably never see you again after that, one reason I got emotional.
Don't lie to yourself or me.
I will still think about you when I am in B.C.
and truly wish you the best of luck and hope you have found the happiness you are searching for.
Gone but never forgotten."

I would tell him he didn't get it and probably needs a new shrink - I cant believe anyone would tell him that a life lived alone is good for you - but I know he won't accept anything I say that doesn't smack of doom and gloom.

I just find it kind of funny that it took him this long to understand that I have moved on without him and he still doesn't realize why. I am glad I do not have this negative force in my life any longer but a part of me will always keep him in my thoughts and pray he finds some comfort in this life.

JazzDlight 59F

9/10/2006 3:38 pm

Well liking them and letting them get near me are two different things...LMAO!

druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 3:47 pm:
All in good time my dear - all in good time - my faith in you is strong - and if all else fails - I'll just kick your ass - you can ask Vrec - I am VERY good at that.

JazzDlight 59F

9/10/2006 2:44 pm

Well I was thinking about this on the drive home from your place today...I am not so different from T.T. in a lot of ways. Now what does that say about me? Hugs, Jazz

druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 3:16 pm:
Your situation is temporary insanity - his is a permanent condition that has lasted 43 years - I am certain you will get over it - and point of fact - you are planning on getting together w/two men from here within the next month - alright - so it's not for sex - but you are still meeting w/them to have fun and you are friends w/me and talked about how many dozens of others that you like here - so - there -

sexymermaid6956 62F
26390 posts
9/10/2006 10:28 am

first off that pic is wonderful...you are a smart girl...you need to have positive people around you and you will shin...good chose to move on...being friends is good...kind of a life life for him i guess....


Seduce my mind and my body

druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 1:01 pm:
Thanks for the nice words about the pic - I got lucky and found a magical photographer w/a magical camera.

Regarding positive people - light reflects light - so very true - and seeing how you glow - I appreciate the validation.

The X - it's a shame - there is potential there - which is why I tried but you can only do so much before you find yourself drained - and then there is no more you can do. I hope someday he finds his place and receives some sense of joy in this life.

willieatermuff 42M

9/9/2006 7:36 pm

Come on Dru, you can admit it, you give him up to persue me! lmao!

druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 12:56 pm:
Willie, Willie, Willie - who exactly is pursuing who - I think if anybody is keeping score - there are more requests by you to see more of me - skin wise - than me of you - not that I mean that I don't want to see more of your skin - please - I am old - not dead - so fess up - your glad I am on the market again - you want me - you know you do -

vrec_dawn 39M

9/9/2006 5:47 pm

As for him not getting it, well, I don't really need to go there. For once Captain Oblivious (AKA me) has some real competition.

The picture there however is worth a thousand words. Dru in her element. It's great to see a happy Dru.

druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 12:51 pm:
Happy Dru - I think perhaps it had something to do w/the company she is now keeping.

Photo compliments of pictures by Vrec - photog to the stars !

lissi888888 52F
1401 posts
9/9/2006 5:13 pm

*shakes head* yep...he needs a new shrink. And the shrinks view of the site...well...go figure. Funny though...I have met a few like he has that weren't quite up to snuff...but the overwhelming majority of them have been absolutely wonderful. I agree...sounds like you are much better off without this fella.

druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 12:49 pm:
My view - he wouldn't recognize anything good - can't see past the negativity - and you are right - I am definitely MUCH better off. Thanks for visiting - again.

AstirRelicLatah 64M
1993 posts
9/9/2006 2:02 pm

To "get it" you often have to take a look at yourself and what role you played in something that didn't work. My belief is that most of the world doesn't want to go down that road...it's too painful for them. As to the therapist I often find that they will say what it takes to keep Clients coming back again, not what they want to hear...If you work in the consulting world of any type you rapidly learn that when you tell Clients things they don't want to hear, you often have an ex Client. There are relatively few consultants who are willing to go down that road.

BTW, your pre and post amble where very nice....It looks like you do take a good honest look at yourself. I guess that's why I enjoy reading your posts....thanks.

druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 12:46 pm:
Too true - sadly - and thanks for the validation - I can always count on you - you are rapidly becoming my angle w/the halo.

Skier on the right and Willie on the left - Vrec and Jazz in front and behind - and others forming a circle of friends around - I can't loose - life is good !

VCF1962 104F

9/9/2006 1:20 pm

Best off without this loser from the sounds of it.

It sounds as though he's better off on his own so that he doesn't screw up someone elses life and can just sit and listen to the silence on his own.

If he was meeting the type of women that he says, then he must have been ATTRACTING them in the first place. If you are happy with the person you are then you will attract like minded people. Loonies (for want of a better expression) will always attract loonies.

Thank God YOU moved on ! Good luck with whatever you're looking for but just be grateful he's getting therapy !

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!

druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 12:41 pm:
You got that right - it's a shame he can't understand that - but it's not my problem any longer - and the only loon I am interested in has wings !

agedinwood757 63F
297 posts
9/9/2006 12:33 pm

good riddens


druidrocker replies on 9/10/2006 12:38 pm:

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