A RAISE  

donnelleyen 44F
5 posts
8/18/2006 12:05 am
A RAISE


> I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
>
> I do physical labour
> I work at great depths.
> I plunge head first into everything I do.
> I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
> In fact holidays and weekends is when I toil the most.
> I work in a damp environment.
> I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
> I work in extremely high temperatures.
> _______________________________________
>
> Dear Penis
>
> After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration
> rejects your request for the following reasons:
> You do not work 8 hours straight.
> You fall asleep after brief work periods.
> You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
> You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
> You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
> You will retire well before you are 65.
> You are unable to work double shifts.
> You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
> As if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the
> work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags.


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