No means No, but be nice  

doit4joy 59M
265 posts
11/12/2005 8:02 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

No means No, but be nice

I rarely write love letter to member here even she is on the list of cupid matched (supposed to be very potential...selected by this site.. now I know cupid match is not reliable source of information...)
When I have a lot of time, I write a letter, spending a lot of time (since English is not my first language), using dictionary and trying to be so nice, not offensive.... and creative..

Yes, Even I educate myself that I have no chance (on surface), there is always slight hope (similar to lottery) somewhere in my spirit.
I've already got used to receive "No". So I am all right, not much damage to me...
But, depend on how she said, impact is different.. Let me explain

Case 1... No responce... <== I understand lady receive so many letter, so I don't blame them, but it is kind of sad... but I'm OK with this.

Case 2... Using QuickResponse option <== What a cold blooded way of saying "No", It is very deadly. I'd rather have no responce than this, at least if I don't receive any responce, I can continue to have some hope.. dreaming about dating.

Case 3... Critisizing me <== This is highly deadly impact, I can not recover from this kind of damage for a week or so.. for example "You're not my type" If someone criticised on others which he can not do much... that's bad.. example (you're too short...)

So what the good way to say "No" and doesn't harm the feeling of others.. One lady did it to me, and very nice touch.. (Of course, "No" means "No")
First check profile as soon as receive the letter (You don't have to read anything). Then wait a couple days (pretend you're seriously thinking about opportunity) Then praise others, such as saying "You have wonderful xxxx and I'd like to ooo" followed by sentence starting with "But...." (whatever realistic excuse here) and followed by kindly "Sorry" and make sure add "Good Luck!" at the end..

This way, I don't feel so bad...

Probably, I keep writing love letter, (once in a while, I saw my type... I can't resist...)
also thank-you-letter to everyone winked at me, or for those who post wonderful thought in my blog.
So, Ladies, Please be nice, men are (at least I am) naive and sensitive than you think.

Please be nice....

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