docdirk 47M
5418 posts
4/27/2006 6:46 pm

Last Read:
3/13/2010 10:11 pm


The last thing I started to write...

Three smacks across the face.

And the worst of it was: she was never going to learn. No matter how hard he hit her. No matter how often she forced him to this. She was never going to learn.

“You fucking bitch! Look what you’ve done! Look what you’ve made me do!”


“You think I enjoy this?”

Emma couldn’t answer. She was too busy bleeding. That really pissed him off. But Andy didn’t hit her a fifth time. His hand hurt. And his beer was on the dresser. On the far side of the bedroom. He needed a drink. And she wasn’t going anywhere.

Andy Donnard loved his drink. He wasn’t so hyped about his wife. But it wasn’t her fault. Emma was a woman, and Andy wasn’t much into them. They were talkative houseplants. Uppity pets. They expected, demanded and required things beyond their place. Andy needed dinner, clean laundry, an occasional screw and silence. Was that so hard? Did she need pictures? Why must she always open her fucking mouth?

“Don’t say another fucking word. And stop your damn crying. I didn’t hit you that hard!”

Emma did her best to muffle her cries, to hide her tears. Truth be told: she wasn’t in all that much pain. Sure, the familiar taste of blood did light up her mouth like a Christmas tree. But that would heal soon enough. He didn’t even come close to her eyes this time. The sunglasses could stay tucked safely away in the medicine cabinet next to the Peroxide and gauze. If she behaved, this might be over.

Andy stumbled across the room in search of his Black Label antidote. Emma prayed that he would navigate the route safely. If he tripped over a shoe, a pile of dirty clothes, or his own misguided feet, she would no doubt be to blame and suffer the consequences.

Her “luck” held out. Andy retrieved his warm can of domestic bless, all the while uttering nary a Neanderthal grunt.

She wondered what set him off tonight. Did she actually do something this time? It wasn’t about dinner. He never made it home for that. It wasn’t her refusal to lay flat and spread her legs for him. He never even demanded as much. His backhand sufficed for “hello.” Maybe he just had a bad day. Maybe his boss pissed him off. Maybe one of those “city faggots” in their BMW’s or Audi’s cut in front of him on the road home. Maybe the sun rose in the east or the river flowed toward the sea. He had his reasons. And hers was not to ask why.

Andy collapsed on the bed and released a highly energized sigh.

“You don’t fuckin’ get it, do ya?”

She knew better than to answer.

“Of course you don’t. You’re too fuckin’ stupid. How the fuck did you even get this far in life bein’ that stupid?”

She dared not breathe too loudly.

“This whole fuckin’ thing’s just a waste of time… trying and trying… working and slaving… on and on… all day, every fuckin’ day. Same thing. No different Monday from Saturday. Shit on shit. Wake up behind, go to bed even more. What’s the point?

She had no clue. None. But she agreed with him. Every word. Or else.

“And then I gotta come home to your shit. Ain’t it enough I slave all day for a paycheck that ain’t worth the paper it’s printed on, to buy shit for you, to take care of you, to provide for you? What the hell else am I supposed to do?”

Now she understood. This wasn’t a rant against anything that she had said, done or thought. Her only mistake was falling for him six years ago, and saying “I do” a year later. Short of that, she was innocent.

Tonight’s eruption was all about him. Regrets and frustrations ricocheting around his addled mind, boiling to the surface like molten lava, reigning like ash on the innocent. It was about how free he’d be if it weren’t for her. How easily he could change every aspect of his life if she weren’t in tow. How he could pile in that old Ford F150 and kick up three state’s worth of dust and try it all over again. New name, new face, new town. Do over. It was about the realization that marriage wasn’t what he’d thought. That commitment actually meant something in the real world. That responsibility is a lifelong migraine.

Then again, maybe he was just a drunken asshole too chickenshit to hit anyone but his own 130 pound wife.

Andy finished his beer and stared at his surroundings. His bed, his dresser, his walls and ceilings, even his scratched and faded work boots. Nothing seemed to register. He didn’t recognize a thing. Which was the best news that Emma could pray for. Her husband didn’t recognize her. He didn’t know her well enough to strike her again. She couldn’t remember if that particular idea was ever a part of her marriage vowels.

“I gotta get outta here!”

With that simple utterance, Andy Donnard stumbled towards the front door of his mobile home with all the dexterity of a tranquilized Bull Moose. A few seconds later, Emma heard the engine of the pickup roar to life, and the machine-gun spatter of tiny pebbles shot from under its tires. He was gone again. She had no idea for how long. No amount of time seemed long enough

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F

4/27/2006 7:41 pm

I truly appreciate your stories. Very powerful writing. Hope you continue. Thank you for another clear and deep perceptual experience. {=}

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:20 am:
another clear and deep perceptual experience.

Another? The next will be my first!

absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
4/27/2006 8:18 pm

Very nicely written but I don't understand the picture posted with the story. JJ, you got some splainin to do

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:21 am:
I believe I was about that age (In the picture) the last time I actually finished writing something I began!

kyplowboy22 61M

4/27/2006 8:57 pm

No such luck his drunk ass kisses a big oak tree I guess.

docdirk replies on 4/27/2006 9:26 pm:
Damn... you been reading ahead????

jadedbabe78 106F

4/27/2006 11:16 pm

Make him get a kick in the balls.

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:22 am:
He gets more than that!

Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
4/28/2006 12:16 am

damn doc! You take an english class or something? thats good stuff right there!

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:24 am:
English be one of me favoritists speakings!

mycin62 54F

4/28/2006 12:52 am

You sing, you cook, you write and you're bald!! Perfection

Doc, if I wasn't already married, you'd be in trouble!

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:25 am:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I had a nickle every time I heard that...

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
4/28/2006 2:48 am

very well written


docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:25 am:
Thank you many times over, GOTD!

rm_metalmama69 42F
3878 posts
4/28/2006 4:06 am

Thank you Doc!

I hope Andy pisses himself at some point!

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:26 am:
The future is not bright for Andy, I promise you that!

firestarter665 42M/39F

4/28/2006 4:55 am

What a powerful story!

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:27 am:
Thanks, Firestarter, that is very kind of you. Hopefully I'll get off my ass and continue it someday!

MWWwantsmore 51F

4/28/2006 5:15 am

Very powerful story, and I agree with Cyn

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:28 am:
Sure, if this, if that, if, if, if. Story of my life, which if I actually had one, I might actually be getting some!!!

champagnechaser 41F
1639 posts
4/28/2006 5:25 am

I'm hooked on your stories...I want more!

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:29 am:
OK, but you'll have to write them for me. I'm too goddam lazy!!!


4/28/2006 7:13 am

Takes me "there"...leaves me haunted {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:30 am:
Oh, I don't want to take anyone there!!! I'm glad it made an impression, though. Thanks for spending some time with it!

MaggiesWishes 60F

4/28/2006 10:27 am

Too close to reality for words.
Well written.

warm huggies

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:36 am:
I was afraid of this. I never intended this to take anyone to a bad place. It was short sighted of me I suppose. In the search for inspiration, I may have done more damage than good. I hope this didn't offend in any way!

NSAAddict 42F

4/28/2006 4:57 pm

Chilling... and so well written, you've got talent JJ. Please tell me she kills him in the end, or someone else kills him, or he kills himself... please?

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:39 am:
Talent, Schmalent. It's all about the Benjies baby... and I ain't got any!!!

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 12:41 am:
Talent, schmalent. It's all about the benjies, baby, and I ain't got any!!!

mycin62 54F

4/29/2006 2:03 pm

You'd still be broke?

docdirk replies on 4/29/2006 4:23 pm:
Damn skippy!!!


5/5/2006 9:44 pm

You so took a page fromt he story of my past! Damn brought back memories. But good writing!

docdirk replies on 5/6/2006 9:42 am:
Thank you for reading!!

I felt badly after posting this because many had the same reaction as you, and I didn't want to conjure up horrible memories for anyone. I'm glad to hear that that is all in your past, and it's obvious you have moved on and thrived since. God bless!

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