Living the married life- then not!  

destinybound30 41F
38 posts
7/28/2005 12:33 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Living the married life- then not!

Well as many already know, i am recently divorced. Was with him just short of 13 years.And as much as id like to admit- it wasnt ALL bad- just most of it. Was very hard to come to the conclusion that i needed to be away from this man; alot of verbal abuse and what ever else...
I wanted my family to remain 2gether despite my un-happiness. But u grow to realize thats not always the best thing to do.He definately didnt want me to go because i was all he had.And i took care of them- all needs met and what have u. So it was very hard and very emotional.
but even with all that- i wanted to remain friends just because ive known him so long and at such a young age. We have a 12 year old son who is great and was raised to be such a good kid-despite certain facts. I dont understand,however,why it is that no matter how much he asked if i still cared or if i was going to remain friends-and me being extremly sincere about "yes i care and yes all i want is to be friends and be able to talk"...he would turn tables and say i didnt care- was endless....This man has put me thru so much hell- yet i want so bad to just be close friends- guess u cant always have it the way u think its supposed to be.
I do miss not having the "family" thing going...i thrived on it-hell my whole life thrived on being "mom"....kinda hard...but im sure i'll get thru it- hopefully...

guyhavingfun24 38M

7/28/2005 12:47 pm

Well I actually understand the feeling. I was married myself and no matter how bad I wanted things to work or stay close ect things just feel apart. It wasnt all bad ofcourse but things work the way they do for some reason. We just have to on the look out for these reasons and move forward.

destinybound30 41F

7/28/2005 1:51 pm

Yeah ive realized that...i divorced him remember. But that still doesnt make it easier...thank u 4 ur comment

AltumHunksUnite 53M

7/29/2005 10:16 am

I could be wrong, but it almost sounds like you've left an opening for reconciliation.

It's tough to read someone's emotions through plain text, but that's how it looks. Maybe if he reached a point in his life where he would no longer put you "through hell", would you get back with him?

Let me drive. I like the view

destinybound30 41F

7/29/2005 12:45 pm

No way...Not wanting to get back with him...just was with him so long that even after all he did to me- I wanted to still remain friends...But it was so hard 4 him to accept my kindness because it was too difficult 4 him to let me go.So he did what he had to...i know deep down hes capable of being a good guy, he was very dependent on me 4 alot, and i had hoped that he would get on his own and work thru it to discover what he needs to in life...but hes got a girlfriend now who he moved in with, and im happy 4 him, but i believe he needs to take things slow so as to not get hurt ya know? but i cant tell him that- he has to find out on his own...I really wanted to see him make it on his own so he could see and be proud of that.

luvsxoxo 43F

7/29/2005 12:58 pm

I went threw the same thing threw my first marriage....emotional abuse physical ect....The one thing that I have learned is no matter how much you want to be their friend.... there still resentment there...I left my ex on good terms but he still is the same person very emotionally abusive ect....Find what makes you happy on the inside thats what makes the difference!!!!

Good Luck sweety ...There are good men out there just don't loose hope!


destinybound30 41F

7/29/2005 2:31 pm

Thank you very much Luv....very insightful.....and much appreciated.

rm_temfla 58M
5 posts
8/18/2005 7:58 pm

Having been through the unhappy experience of 2 divorces,( both were closet, accomplished, alcoholics) and even tried to resolve both through counseling and so forth, I know that getting on with your life is an unsettling and confusing time. Give yourself time to heal, dont rush yourself, in due time, you will escape from the mixed emotions that follow you, and afterwards be a stronger, smarter, and wiser person! Life has it's ways of building character.
Stay strong and you'll soon see yourself in a much brighter light.

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