who's "The Boss"?  

demonicsexkitten 41F
7229 posts
8/23/2005 9:21 am

Last Read:
11/30/2013 5:14 pm

who's "The Boss"?


in your relationship, who (if any) is "The Boss"? i keep running into guys that say the man is "The Boss". it gets my back up... when i'm faced with the attitude of "I'm the boss, and you must do as I say" i feel like "The hell you say!" i'm not a women's libber or anything ... but i cannot stand being controlled by somebody else. it should be an equality thing. What say you?

THEREALJOKER1 40M

8/23/2005 11:02 am

SWEETIE,PEOPLE LIKE THAT HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. I TAKE THE WHOLE 'TEAM' APPROACH, LIKE EQUALS ARE BETTER THAN A LEADER AND FOLLOWER,I AGREE W/YOU!! GOOD LUCK SWEETIE. KEEP ME UPDATED


rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
8/23/2005 11:41 am

"If you feel that your wife is not submissive, pray for her to have a submissive heart, first toward God and then toward you."

... This is from the web site of a very well-known Christian lobbying group masquerading as a "family focus group."

It would never occur to me to think I could or should be the boss in a relationship; and I wouldn't ever get to the relationship phase with a woman who was always going to defer to me.

Where do you meet these cro-mags? Do you go to a Baptist church or something? I suppose you'd meet a lot of them at a strip club too.


demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
8/23/2005 1:35 pm

well, in many religions, it is taught that the wife should be submissive to her husband, and both to God. I'm not christian, but it's taught the same. Though even when i was christian, i guess i wasn't submissive. i never really thought of it. i basically studied religion and taught myself... kinda overlooked the 'submissive' part. lol. also i've been on my own and independent for too long. i'm also afraid of winding up in an abusive relationship... i've heard too much of women who love their husbands... and said husbands treat them badly until the women have no self esteem, no sense of power of their own... i've never understood a woman allowing that to happen. i think it's partly my fear of somehow falling into such a situation that makes me fight so hard against somebody "controlling" me.


demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
8/23/2005 2:44 pm

one friend did point out that... you can only have ONE captain of a ship. so it's like a captain and a first mate... one has control if the other is gone. sounds somewhat logical that way. doesn't change my feeling of the matter though.


shyknight2005 42M
163 posts
8/23/2005 4:41 pm

I think of the perfect relationship as 2 people sharing each other, 50/50 to become one...not sure how realistic this is though...


THEREALJOKER1 40M

8/23/2005 4:56 pm

MAY I REQUEST A PHOTO?? AND IF SO HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT?? SINCERLY YOURS,YOUR EQUAL. HAHA


Fallic40 53M
1858 posts
8/23/2005 7:47 pm

I don't so much think it is a question of control, but more of a question of abilities and skills. In most of the relationships that I have had, one person controls different aspects - money, planning, chores, etc. The catch would be that one half of the duo has to accept that the other is more suited to lead in one area.

Of course I am divorced so we'll just accept this at face value and say that is sounds good in theory.


volcanoinu23 52M

8/23/2005 9:01 pm

Each partner in a relationship has specialities. Leadership is should be taken with humility. Perhaps it is not quite 50/50, but any man arrogant enough to make choices that affects his woman without consulting her is a lonley soul waiting to happen.


AtomicKisss 58M

8/24/2005 10:45 am

I agree with volcanoinu23. Overall, the relationship should be 50/50. In some areas, the man takes the lead because he might have more knowledge (e.g. buy a new car or get the existing one repaired). With other things (e.g. furniture selection) the woman might take the lead. As a rule of thumb, I always try to consult my partner, and she does the same for me, if the expenditure is over $100. And, if we cannot agree, the decision is postponed pending further discussion.


rm_cageceo 29M

8/24/2005 10:53 am

volcnaoinu23, i agreee with you and gotta add a few..i think that a man that 's controling like that is just insecure...he feels he's not good enough for that person he's with ..some other guys are just Ass holes and want everything there way. i don't believe in that at all i think a relationship IF NEEDED has equal partnership there's no leader or follower it's all equal. besides i wouldn't want to make the women i care forand love to feel or be lower then me. if she wants to go watch a movie like a chick flick then w.e. i love her so ill go and hey there might be a love scene and she may want to try that back at home. point is back up your women and do what she wants cause most likely she will do what you want.

well, im done sharing my thoughts, takecare and good bye
--Alex


demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
8/24/2005 4:15 pm

thank you for all the responses makes me feel better reading your words.


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