Just Say No!!  

deepdish_68ed 35F
15 posts
10/11/2005 12:51 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Just Say No!!

Ever have those people who write to you and just can't take no for an answer or don't bother to see that you're taken?
Well now here's some ways to get them to leave you alone...

Here are some sure fire excuses to use...

I have to floss my cat.

I've dedicated my life to linguini.

I want to spend more time with my blender.

The President said he might drop in.

The man on television told me to say tuned.

I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.

I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.

It's my parakeet's bowling night.

I'm building a pig from a kit.

I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.

I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.

There's a disturbance in the Force.

I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.

I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.

I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.

I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.

I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.

I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.

My crayons all melted together.

I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.

I'm in training to be a household pest.

I'm getting my overalls overhauled.

My patent is pending.

I'm attending the opening of my garage door.

I'm sandblasting my oven.

I'm worried about my vertical hold.

I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.

I'm being deported.

The grunion are running.

My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.

The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.

I'm taking punk totem pole carving.

I have to fluff my shower cap.

I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.

I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.

I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.

My plot to take over the world is thickening.

I have to fulfill my potential.

I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.

My subconscious says no.

I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.

I left my body in my other clothes.

I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.

I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.

None of my socks match.

I have to be on the next train to the Bermuda triangle.

I'm having all my plants neutered.

People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.

I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.

I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."

I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

My yucca plant is feeling yucky.

I'm touring China with a wok band.

My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.

I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.

I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.

I'm too old/young for you

I have to ash/condition/perm/curl/tease my hair.

There are important world issues that need worrying about.

I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.

I promised to help a friend fold road maps.

I feel a song coming on.

I'm trying to be less popular.

My bathroom tiles need grouting.

I have to bleach my hare.

I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.

I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.

My favorite commercial is on TV.

I have to study for a blood test.

I've been traded to Cincinnati.

I'm observing National Apathy Week.

I have to rotate my crops.

My uncle escaped again.

I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.

I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.

I have to go to court for kitty littering.

I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.

I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.

I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.

I have to jog my memory.

My palm reader advised against it.

My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.

I have to stay home and see if I snore.

I prefer to remain an enigma.

I think you want the OTHER Kelly Shannon...[feel free to insert your name].

I have to sit up with a sick ant.

I'm trying to cut down.

My asthma is acting up again

That would interfere with my time to wait for the government to take me away.

Its my goldfish's birthday

Uh, I have stuff to do.

I have to make an air sandwich

I have to hide the bodies.

I have to wash my hair.

I have to clean my toilet

I need to spend quality time with my weed wacker

I need to clean the air in my room

My hamster is having a heart transplant and I need to stay for moral support.

I caught a rare deadly African disease that's highly contagious.

My gerbil is getting married.

I have plans to clean the cracks in my floor

That's the night I reorganize my rock collection.

Pinnochio is on tonight

Sorry I think I'm gay

I have to go...........over..............there.

My butt is to big in this dress

I have to take out the trash

My dog had baby kittens.

I can't, I need to take my computer apart and put it back together.

I have to go shopping for my mother.

I'm sorry, I have to rotate the strings on all of my shoes.


I told my car I would tenderly rub wax into it's body

I have to go for my full body wax appointment

I have to brush my teeth.

I'm sick.

I'm busy cleaning the blood off my axe

I'm shaving my dog.

My grandma is on fire.

I'm getting married tonight.

I have family in town.

I just washed my hair.

It's that time of the month again.

My father's grandmother's aunt's mother died.

I have to take down the Christmas lights.

I have to go to a surprise party for my grandma's birthday.

I left my tolerance in another coat.

I have to alphabetize my CDs.

My brother's sister's mum's son's dad died.

My pet snake is constipated again.

I have to teach my pig to sing.

I just got sick (right after you asked me for an appointment).

My dog is too tired.

There's a four hour TV special on trimming shrubbery.

I'm washing the sofa.
I have to milk my cow.

I don't want to miss Martha Stewart's premiere.

I have to teach my frog how to croak.

I'm too busy watching the paint dry.

The "Rocky" marathon is on that night.

I tripped over an ant and broke my leg.

I need to clip my nose hairs.

I have to read the labels on all of my food.

My goat broke a horn.

I have to go to the dentist.

I have to brush my dog's teeth.

I must go in search of my charms which were stolen by an angry leprechaun.

I'm going to the moon.

My water wings are flat.

I have to stay home and give my goldfish a bath.

I'm going to be playing with my mental blocks.

I have to wax the driveway.

I'm teaching my goldfish how to play the electric guitar.

I'm teaching my dog to meow.

I have to watch Oprah.

I just found out we're related.

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