sad yet happy memories  

daybreak68 39F  
800 posts
5/18/2006 8:47 pm

Last Read:
5/21/2006 6:09 pm

sad yet happy memories


so my sister calls me early this evening to ask me if I remember making claydough rainbows?! I said yes, why? she says well I'm driving home and in front of me is the most perfect double rainbow. I made the appropriated oooo's and ahhh's. then asked why she wanted to know. she said well I just had this sudden memory of making these rainbows when we were little, and did I remember which grandma that started it?! I said of course I remember, it was Gram K. she says okay I just wanted to make sure I wasnt crying for no reason. I laughed and then I sat here and thought about some of those things I had forgotten about gram k. she was all about an arts and crafts day. I remember so many of the random projects we did together. She taught me so much. oh God I miss her so much. I'm sorry for laying that all on ya, but I just needed to get it out.

Dawn happyf;


Fat_Ass_Pussy2 47

5/19/2006 1:09 pm

Hey sweetie,

I have not had many people pass on in my life. But of those who have, my grandmother was the closest to me. Its been nearly 4 years and my heart aches still at the thought of her not being here and the sufferage she went through at a nursing home prior to passing. I learned that day that there is really nothing at all, no words of comfort that an individual can offer you during this period that will make things better or even make them "feel" better.

I thought to myself "If one more person says to me that 'its gonna be alright', or 'I'm so sorry', or 'How sad', I'm gonna kill them on the spot and they can take any complaints about my behavior up with my grandmother when they reach the other side." (Smile & Laugh)

Nevertheless, I do offer to you this suggestion. Don't allow yourself to wallow in what you miss about her not being here any longer. Instead, talk to those who remember her fondly as you do and remind each other of the reasons why you liked & loved her so very much. Special moments like your rainbow making tradition, talks you had or funny things she did or said that made you fall out laughing...and then laugh at the funny memories. Take the things she gave you whether it be physical or emotional and share them with others to bless or enrich their lives as those things did for you when Gram K shared them with her loved ones.

Like when walking down the street with her if we got ready to cross the road and passed a light post, she would go one way and I would go the other. She would intentionally stop, back track and go around the post in the direction I walked. Then frustrated with me, she'd remind me not to "Split the pole". "It's bad luck honey", she'd say. Habits of her's like this, I still follow to this day even though they are silly. My actions are not understood by many walking along side me, they think I'm corny... and they're right. But as I do it, my mind's eye can watch her little feet next to mine and see her face smiling up at me as if to say..."Good girl, don't split the pole". It is my small way of keeping her close to my heart and never forgetting her.

There are many life lessons that she shared but it's the little things that make me smile and remind me to be happy about the time I had with her, not the time I have left without her.

Take care, and let me know how you're doing with it all.

Your fellow mourner,
FAP2


daybreak68 39F  
292 posts
5/21/2006 6:09 pm

FAP> thanks so much for that! her service was Saturday and what a dreary day it was. my cousin asked to speak for a bit and talked of the rainbow making as well as many other things that only got shared among the grandkids. we were never allowed to have regular pancakes. They were either mickey mouse heads or teddy bears or silver dollars. And the sugar cookies that she made with all of us at one time or another. Christmas, Valentines day, St Patricks(which was also my dads b-day), and then Easter and almost all the birthdays. It was a beautiful speech and we all musta had rainbows on the brain about gram b/c the song that they played was "somewhere over the rainbow." It was a wonderfully touching service. And I never new my gram knew so many people. We got to see people we havent seen for years. The circumstances sucked, but I'm glad to know she had so many friends. I miss her terribly, but I know in my heart that shes no longer in pain.

Dawn happyf;


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