The Deep Quiet  

dasher121 36M
3656 posts
12/13/2005 4:29 am

Last Read:
3/9/2006 8:29 am

The Deep Quiet

Restless at night, an echo stirs inside of me that will not let me rest. My mind wanders and yearns for distraction. Events and places running through it. Anticipation of great things to come. I put on my shoes, my coat, and my tossel cap. Grab some CDs and jump in the car.
I pop in some music that reflects the feelings in my soul and begin to drive, wandering aimlessly. I head for the city, like a bright light calling me from afar. I drive through neighborhoods, taking the longer path. Its not always the easiest, but the most interesting. The most rewarding and fulfilling. Quiet still places. Big houses with lavish front yards and endless amounts of bricks stacking to make each unique in its own way. Families sleeping peacefully, safely together. Happy. Content. The music takes me away, my mind creates images influenced by the vibes that now move through me.
I see the rivers, getting closer now. Im not sure where Im going, but a strong pull takes me. A pull that Ive only felt once in life. And now it draws me to something else. I come into view of the many bridges and tall buildings. They are lit up, calling to me. But I find myself moving through them, past them. Im being drawn, I can feel it. I dont resist. Im restless and need distraction. But a great restlessness. A peaceful feeling.
And after an hour or so of drivng Im at the point of the drawing power. So strong and moving. I stop the car. Im parked on the street outside the house I grew up in. I see my dad walking out with his tattered briefcase. He shuts the door and walks down the long driveway. He looks so young, so happy yet so stressed out. I briefely recall the problems and struggles my parents had at that time.
He gets to his car on front of the house and his case pops open. Tests that he graded and football plays and formations fly everywhere about the road. He cusses and swears as he chases them down, certain ones dancing in front of his fingers just out of grasp. Catching a mind of their own to tease him. I begin to laugh, it is pretty funny to watch. A really big guy chasing small papers, powerless against their new life.
I see my mother pulling in very late at night. Dressed in scrubs and looking very tired. Working double shifts, overtime, anything she can to make some extra money. She is also much younger, but carries a weariness about her. Not sad, just tired and stressed out. She walks slowly up the driveway sipping on her coffee and disappears through the front door. My sister comes out, barely a teenager. Her boyfriend waits down the street on the corner for her. She looks radiant, yet troubled. Her young mind so confused, so disoriented. She runs down the street towards him. A fresh smile across her face.
My grandfather waits on the porch. He spots something down the street and starts to smile and wave. I look towards it, its me. Im in elementary school. I step off of the bus on the corner and tear ass down to my house. My granfather meets me on the porch and gives me the same huge hug that he still does to this day. "Your my favorite" he wispers in my ear every time. He takes my bookbag and we go inside. I cant see it but I knew all to well the tradition of hours of ice cream and kung fu movies that we'll watch until my dad gets home from work.
My face illuminates, my eyes sparkle. I turn the car back on, hear the rumble of the engine and Im back in the present. So very happy and alive. I drive away, back to my home. But this home I will always carry with me, no matter where I go. No matter how far I travel. It will always be in my heart of hearts. Deep inside of me, where no one but I can get to it. The drive home is peaceful, the music takes me away. My mind wanders, a stupid grin plastered on my face.

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/13/2005 5:49 am

Of course it pulls you...your home, your family, your city...they are your heritage and your center. It's where your sense of self springs from and where you draw your strength.

dasher121 36M

12/13/2005 6:48 am

yes they are. and there are many things that pull me, things that carry strong feelings and meanings to me. many things that i am truely happy about in life. home, family, city, heritage, all carry very strong and important things.
the most important though is that i can take all the good in my life with me where ever I go.

rm_texasgal1978 45F
225 posts
12/13/2005 5:16 pm

you gave me the warm fuzzies

dasher121 36M

12/14/2005 3:35 am

texas- warm fuzzies are great arent they? yep, they sure are.

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/14/2005 6:11 am


silkysmoothlegs3 105F

12/14/2005 7:11 am

YOu made me cry
you write so well
I can feel it..
dont stop.. please
silky xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dasher121 36M

12/14/2005 9:11 am

silky- wow! thank you very much. dont know what to say, really. i enjoy writing very much, its such a great outlet for me. I couldnt imagine stopping.

dasher121 36M

12/14/2005 10:16 am

Divinity- yes the family memories can be very moving no doubt. especially since I have a very descriptive mind. Everything I wrote there I saw as if it was happening right in front of me. It very much moved me, and really did make me smile. Although I had many bad memories there as well, its important to embrace the good ones. Those are the ones worth keeping and taking with you.
thank you also for the kind words.

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
12/14/2005 2:44 pm

again...your vision vivid and oh so alive...
...can't help but notice {=}

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

tillerbabe 55F

12/15/2005 12:21 am

Beautiful memories....thank you for sharing! {=}

dasher121 36M

12/15/2005 4:40 am

goddess- to be alive and convey it is even greater than the memories.

Till- never have to thank me for sharing, its my pleasure to do so.

AnEnigma517 59M

12/15/2005 11:45 am

You have a powerful writing style... the mental images you draw with your words are able to be just as real to us as they are/were to you.

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
12/15/2005 9:24 pm

a beautiful life artfully placed upon your keyboard. I have similar feelings yet an oh-so-different life.

SxyCrazyCool 38F

12/16/2005 5:34 am

well i didnt cry, but I had a little tear rolling down my cheek and a big lump growing in my throat.. I love the way you write!!

I think i'll spend the rest my my afternoon reading the rest of your blog

dasher121 36M

12/16/2005 11:16 am

AnEnigma, art persists- its really great to see other men not affraid to write on a mans blog. MrNuttz and I have kicked that complaint around a few times. thanks for your comments, everyone here leaves me so humbled and inspired. I say that all the time because I really do mean it. This blogging experience has inspired me on many levels and given me courage to try and expand and pursue on my passion for writing outside of here as well as here. Thanks again for your insight.

SxyCrazy- thank you also for taking the time to read through my material and is always great to see a new face. I will def be paying your blog as well as the gentlemen above you a visit.
Appologies if it takes me some time. I lack a home computer and do this when i catch time at work.

RedheadedMedStd 34F

12/16/2005 9:13 pm

I was shocked to see such powerful writing from a guy so young. I wish that more guys our age took time to search for thoughts likethese and commit them to paper, the cyber world, or to wherever. You have a wonderful gift, and I thank you for sharing such wonderful imagery with me. I'll have to come back and visit more often.

On a side note, maybe you should see if you can do an open mic night somewhere with some of your material. I think many people could appreciate a tender soul with such exquistite things to say.

You definitly have a new and very eager-to-read fan!

dasher121 36M

12/22/2005 4:49 am

red- very much appreciated. your suggestion sounds vry interestig but i am shy, even though i do public speaking and have always been comforetable with that. but to expose myself up there with my own thoughts and images, yikes! that freaks me out.

i have taken some suggestions to heart though, and some vry wonderful people who i greatly respect their opinions and writings have motivated me to capture my thoughts into more writing and try to get it out there. so we shall see how it turns out.

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