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The Clarion Connection "Late Night Creeper"
The Clarion Connection "Late Night Creeper"
"Late Night Creeper"
The dude is sitting in his living room, alone, with his 4ft bong. Yes, if you havent been with my blog for very long the dude is a former pothead in permanent retirement. So make your judgements as you will. Watching god knows what on the tube when in stumbles my upstairs roommate Dug and his girlfriend Lar.
They enter very loudly, Dug see's me and screams "Dasher!!!!"
"Hello Dug," I say plainly with a smirk.
"Dasher!!!!!!!!" falling closer and closer towards me.
"Dasher!!!!!!!" He picks me up off of the couch, being alot larger than the dude, spilling my stank ass bong water all over my lap, and gives me a bear hug.
"I love you man! Do you know that?!!!"
"Geezus mary and joseph Dug! You got fucking....."
His short attention span wears off and he grabs my spilt bong to take a hit. After fumbling with my lighter I remove it from his hand and light it for him. It gurgles very strangely, because the fucking water is all over me now, and he gets a hit. Gives me a weird look, slaps my arm and smiles, and he and Lar retire to his bedroom.
A few hours, a long shower, a cleaning of the couch (bong water stinks and the smell lingers!), a lighting of scented candles, and a fresh pair of PJ bottoms, the dude is now stretched out on the couch watching Scar Face. Down the stairs stomps Lar, angry and agitated.
"You are a fucking pervert!!"
Dug chasing after her. "Wait baby wait! Just wait one fucking minute!"
She stops and looks at him, he sways a bit and then gives her a smirk. She knocks his hand away and storms out the door.
"Fuck!!!!!" yells Dug. He turns and sees me laying on the couch laughing, they go throw shit like this jus about every weekend. He calms down,
"Whats up dude?" and stomps back upstairs.
What transpired up the stairs previously:
Dug and Lar go into his bedroom, fold out his footon, and crawl into it to go to bed. They are a VERY freaky couple sexually. Usually you can hear them swinging from the ceiling on drunken nights together. Well, this night they both were so drunk that they passed out.
Lar, laying on her side, wakes up in the middle of the night. She hears a soft and rapid "slap slap whack whack slap slap" coming from behind her where Dug is laying. Then her eyes widen with horror as she feels pressure INSINDE her ass. SHe rolls over. Dug has two fingers inserted into her anus and is masturbating.
Slapping his hand away, and outside of her lol, "Dug you fucking perv!!! Fucking stop it! Go back to sleep." Dug is startled, being caught and still very drunk, stops immediately and pretends to be asleep. Yeah, great manuver there dude, really have her fooled. Must be figment of her imagination right? A bad dream? Oh the stupidity of my fellow man sometimes *shaking my head*.
She kicks him out of bed, and whining like a small child he crawls onto the floor. She throws a pillow at him,
"What, no blanket?" he says sleepily. She rolls over on her side, giving him the view of her back and goes to sleep. He lays down loudy like an angry child and falls into slumber.
Once again, hours later, Lar awakens to the sound of "slap slap whack whack" and a firm pressure inside of her ass. She rolls over and his arm moves with her pulling him closer. But so into it, he doenst notice and continues to sit naked on the floor really pulling away at himself fiercely while shoving his fingers inside of her like an engine piston!!!
She flings her foot backward and then forward hitting him in the chest with the momentum. Sending his fingers with a loud "plop!" out of her ass. She jumps up and begins to grab her clothes on the floor.
"What?! Whats wrong? Wh-what are you doing?" Tucking his unit back into his shorts. She gets up and looks at him, he sniffs his fingers. She begins yelling and screaming at him, not the right manuver to pull there.......or ANY of it for that matter! A loud slap to the face meets his immediate future. She storms out.
The late night creeper, an unwelcome guest, gets the justice and more he oh so deserves.
The late night creeper sleeps a slumber all by his lonesome.
Gentlemen, the late night creeper is NOT the guy to be.........but he does make a hell of a story!!!
Lesson learned for that dude my freaky darlings.
1/23/2006 6:07 am
1/23/2006 8:47 am
LMAO! You know my ass is off limits. I would have kicked his ass & left the first time he tried it! OUCH!!! Another hilarious blog from Dash...|
1/23/2006 2:58 pm
*shakes her head and walks out the door LMAO|
i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....
1/23/2006 4:20 pm
shaking my head in amazement he was dumbass enough to have sniffed his fingers...uuggggghhhhh|
1/23/2006 4:57 pm
Hey, unlike the rest of you, I give the guy some cooties for his persistence. It's hard as a yongster combatting maturity & testosterone, they nullify one another.... Dash, are you SURE you didn't have more to do with this????(lol)|
1/23/2006 9:27 pm
You have great taste in friends, they are so goofy. You ever done something that weird or goofy? Nothing is better than a guy who can laugh at himself. As always thank you for puuting a smile on my face.
1/24/2006 7:48 am
Same here dude, same here lol.
remembering those days, and then i forget......oh wait! there they are again! hahahaha.
oh yeah, amazed at her patience with that, me thinks she was just tired, still drunk, and didnt feel like walking home that night.
1/24/2006 7:52 am
right behind you on that one!
yeah that grossed me out as well, and made me laugh at his stupidity. the funny thing was his honesty. he told all of us this the next day! and when she was asked, the same details were given! Unbelievable!
Oh yeah, no doubt I def give it to him for his persistance in horniness, *shaking my head and laughing*. However, the Dude DEF did not have anything to do with this other than being awake downstairs all night. Besides I:
A. dont like ass play
B. still stunk like bong water and was pissed off.
C. really really really high!
1/24/2006 7:53 am
Ah no problem, always here for a chuckle hahahaha. And yes, the dude has done some weird shit in his day. Most of which was highlighted in the "Sad but oh so True series". Thanks for laughing with me.