i have been so caught up.. in catching up with life..  

dark_whispers 38F
159 posts
3/30/2006 7:48 pm

Last Read:
4/9/2006 7:20 pm

i have been so caught up.. in catching up with life..

that i have been forgetting to live.. imagine that..

i am adding a pilates class on monday nites.. just for me.. just to feel good.. *smiles*.. other than that.. i stay so busy with school, work, bf, a few good friends.. im on and offline these days..

and.. today.. i was reading something off alt.. What Every Dom Should Know and i found myself sighing.. i miss.. the feeling.. of going.. i dont these days.. and i find myself.. off in fantasies more and more..

i had imagined .. that dating someone.. would not mean a decrease in my sex life.. but.. i have hooked up with someone.. who.. is not as.. sexually driven as i am.. and more into.. making love.. he.. would not think about raising a hand to me.. occasionally.. he will give a playful swat.. *read as one*.. and.. thats really it.. i find it.. very very frustrating..

i dont know what happened.. for months.. it was great.. and.. then.. slowly but surely these past few months.. its.. drizzeled to .. maybe once or twice a week.. usually the weekend.. and.. then.. very normal.. i have tried.. asking what else he may be into.. i have tried.. dressing up.. acting out parts.. its.. like his drive.. is gone..

soooo.. i dont want to give up on it.. i truly care for him.. and like him alot.. i dont know .. if there is even anything i can do.. i know.. that if it stays like this.. i wont be happy.. i wont be able to continue on like this for long..

he enjoys cuddling.. and.. its not that i dont.. i just.. also love sex.. there are times.. i dont want to make love.. or be sweet.. i just want to be used and abused.. and.. i dont think its in him at all.. advice..? hugs.. kisses n lix.. me..

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
3/30/2006 8:22 pm

I know what you mean about differences in sex drive. I can't really relate to the Dom/sub part.....I'm not very knowledgable about that. But...cuddling is nice...but sometimes you just need more. Tell him. Tell him exactly what it is you want. There are some men that cannot stand to give even an iota of pain to another....so you may be stuck there...but it can't hurt to ask.

RaytownRick 61M

3/30/2006 8:24 pm

It sounds like you have needs, and he either doesn't know them yet (which may be a good thing--you still get to explore together) or he doesn't understand them, which is more likely. It'll take more explaining. Take him out on a date, in a public place, and talk to him honestly about it, the way you've been, and the kind of things you'd like to explore in the bedroom. You are doing this in a public place so that he can't resolve his concerns, his own erotica, and he knows that the discussion is safe--at least until he heads home that evening. If he's a guy, he'll think on it all night. If it were me, I frankly wouldn't know WHAT to do to fulfill your fantasies. Realize he may have never engaged in anything but making love. It's up to you to ask--there's nothing worse than being frustrated.

EdgeofdesireM 47M

4/5/2006 7:31 pm

*pours a glass for two*
I know this feeling all to well. a form of erotic expression that is no less meaningful, no less powerful than the afterglow cuddles of loved ones beneath the oft movie themed sunset skies. In fact, dare I even suggest more so...because anyone can entrust themselves to a hug. It takes something more, something deper to allow oneself to be given over so utterly and for another to take so completely.

How to get from one side of intimacy to another? A deep chasm and one I have yet to successfully cross. I have had D/s relationships devolve into simple intimacy (do not mean that pejoratively), but yet to have one evolve.

No advice dear dark whisperer, just a tipped glass of understanding.

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