The Dong of Doom  

rm_dandth 48M/38F
193 posts
9/18/2005 6:08 pm

Last Read:
6/7/2006 7:01 pm

The Dong of Doom

We're browsing through a somewhat local adult novelty store a couple of nights ago and saw some amazing things. A preface to this rant: I say "adult novelty store" because in Georgia you are not allowed to sell adult toys for the actual purpose they are intended to be used for without a prescription. No sh*t. You can however sell them with the tongue in cheek attitude that they are novelties meant as a joke gift for someone. Anyhow, we're browsing through and come across a familiar site, the ever popular, often photo'd 18 inch rubber double headed dildo. Next to it however, was an item that looked more like a big rubber boat anchor than an adult toy, but it was not for marine use. This thing was the shape of a coned bell housing that was as big as Gary Coleman's chubby head and about as hard as his rejected kidney transplants. The label said it was a bouy! Now I've heard some stories about what some people are willing to shove inside their orafaces, but c'mon... this thing would strecth you out like over term quints that were old enough to crawl out on their own. What I really wondered as I looked on in disbelief at the packaging, which showed some suggested uses by obviously lonely ex-members of the village people, was AFTER you had pleasured your self (sic), do you take anti-cold remedies pre-emptively for a week or so? Cause one sneeze, and your inn-erds are gauranteed to become out-erds. Also, if you're in your 30's or even 40's, you have a while to live, what are you going to do to push the envelope next once you get bored?

Whatever you do, don't lean your ass up against a fire-hydrant waiting on the bus to come after using one of these. It could be awful embarrasing if you went to get up and couldn't break the suction.


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
9/19/2005 7:24 am

I've never seen anything like that before, but I have seen a few dildo and vibrator packages that might as well just have the NBA logo on them.

Do you write comedy? You should!

tires


rm_dandth 48M/38F
173 posts
9/26/2005 6:01 am

Ever since we lost our jobs on the larry david show, blogging is all we can get....

Thanks for the compliment!


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