Is Passion a breeding ground for people on the rebound?  

daisy_lincoln 46F
3002 posts
10/28/2005 8:50 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Is Passion a breeding ground for people on the rebound?

I'm kind of starting to think the answer is definitely yes. I've come across quite a few peeps -- mainly guys -- that are obviously rebounding pretty hard, some of whom have gone back to their ex's pretty quick.

Do you think there's somewhat of a duty to disclose this information, especially after getting intimate with someone? I tend to think I'd be hesitant about getting very wrapped up with anyone who had just gotten out of a lengthy relationship, and definitely would be much more guarded with my feelings, because of the high likelihood that they were unavailable emotionally and/or physically. Not to say I'm overeager to jump into a relationship or tie someone down, but I think a person isn't really capable of giving 100% of themselves even on a purely sexual level if their mind and heart is somewhere else.


gnr8nrg 46M

10/28/2005 11:28 am

Not for me. My last relationship ended well over a year ago. I can't remember ever getting back with a relationship. A friend with benefits, yes. (great sex) Usually when a relationship ends it ended for a reason. I think people just remember the best of times, or get lonely. I remember the good and bad times for balance. Many women on this site disclose if they just got out of a relationship. They are up front with what they want. If the guy's aren't honest it's probably because... never mind I won't speak for them, they're adults they can do it for themselves. Good luck Daisy


rm_mysyn 46M

10/28/2005 8:27 pm

It depends how intense the relationship was, to be honest. On top of that, some people can leave the relationship behind easily, while they may not want to admit it. I've seen this on both sides. Rebounding has more to do with reassurance and self-esteem. I think it's one thing if you break up with someone vs gettin dumped. With the former, chances are you probably feel "free" again, but aren't going to jump into the first thing that comes along. With guys in particular, when it comes to getting dumped (ie didn't see the breakup coming) you get wildly extreme reactions as in "I hate her and need to get laid now!" or "Love stinks, I don't want to do deal with women right now - let's go get some beers, guys."

Sure, you should be honest about your situation, but I don't think it has to be at the surface. Maybe after peeling away the proverbial onion skin a bit. You start to get to know someone, the spark is there and you both recognize it. Either it's going to come out in conversation anyway, or you've just got to let them know. In the past I've defaulted to that closing line in Fight Club - "You met me at a very strange time in my life."


BIGDINCHI124332 48M

10/29/2005 9:42 pm

...I think every situation and person is different. One cannot really put a blanket statement over all situations. I am sure there are men and women who are confused, curious, or having relationship hardships. I am extremely honest, so I will always reveal my hand, and I will never lie if you ask me. Your ideal mate is out there and may even be right in front of you.

Darren


rm_33templar33 41M

10/31/2005 11:20 pm

I would most certainly agree regarding the rebound issue. I cannot count the number of gals I have come across who have just dumed their long time or most recent squeeze. The times have changed however, and such a method of interaction has become more accepted. I can recall years back that such endeavors were considered the pastime of geeks and the like who had no other chance. Even with all the porn spam and gals who utterly misrepresent their physical attributes etc., I have met some amzing gals both on the reboud and not.

Just my short rant on the matter...

Jason


LongStrokingUrt 42M

11/1/2005 2:48 pm

I can look at this from both perspectives because I left a relationship a little over 6 months ago. The relationship was over well before that but I think we stayed together because we may have been in love with the relationship more than each other. It took me leaving and ultimately being with other women to see how truly unhappy I was. So it may be that this is not necessarily a breeding ground so to speak, but it fosters a sense of, everyone seems to be having fun, why can't I? I think it empowers people, especially when they see people that don't have the best bodies in the world having fun in their pictures. Face it, we all want to be viewed as the best sexual creatures on the face of the earth...even though some of us will never get close (not necessarily including myself in that category..lol.) But like 33templar33 says, times have changed. Where maybe I wouldn't have hooked up with someone on here a few years ago, I've already done that and enjoyed the experience now. But if they are rebounding, you'll find out in due time.


bobbydazzler69x 47M

11/2/2005 5:31 am

It works both ways. I don't think I have ever met a woman who has never complained of mistreatment by some guy. I used to think in my early 20s that's what you had to do to keep women interested. Now I reckon I 've seen so many people walking around with damaged illusions that I realise that your spirituality is yours to nurture. When you are born the nurse doesn't say, Congratulations it's a girlfriend or a boyfriend. One further thought, even with men with a hard on, emotions do show in how much fire there is in the groin. It's not quite true to say that a cock has a mind of its own. No desire, no commitment, eventually no hard on. It's true. Any porn director will tell you that studs who can do it on demand are rare. (Perhaps, I missed my calling...he,he,hee). Love your pictures, by the way over here in Bonnie Scotland.


NickRules999 39M
9464 posts
11/5/2005 6:45 pm

I have never been to Passion. I wonder if that one's any different from this site?

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?


Novemberain62 54M

11/5/2005 10:28 pm

It really depends. If someone gets dumped after a long relationship, then they have that feeling of rejection.
"I'll show her", is the thought that runs through the mind.
After being hurt, most just want to find something that feels
good at the time...someone that fills that void. There are
alot of things to consider: Length of previous relationship,
'dumper' or 'dumpee', whether it was mutual or not, do they
still 'see' each other. Hope this helps your judgement.


harleypassions 52M

11/6/2005 6:32 am

your saying passion is a simptom of a man on the rebound and you judge that by the fact that a precentage of the man that approached you that where on the rebound where passionate? Im sure they where because they have to proof to themself they are worth more than their ex has made them out to be. they have a point to proof. so most man on the rebound will be passionate but it's not fair to your self or a naturally passionate man to shield your self from him because he could be the one you miss out on because of that and he might as well have been that special guy you have been waiting for your entire life. >>! Im a very passionate person and definately not on the rebound Im just a passionate guy. but because I am a passionate guy you wont let go of some emotions and keep a quard up and my chances with you are not verry good because you will see my attraction to you as a simptom of somebody on the rebound and leave nothing to work with or act on. I feel sorry for all the passionate guys that are being placed in the box labelled. "CAREFULL EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE" I hope you will review that passionate guy carefully and don't loose the one you've waiting for


Torsky 63M
3 posts
11/7/2005 11:12 am

I finally figured out that "Passion" is another name for what many of us know as "AdultFriendFinder." So what you are asking, Daisy, is if Passion the site rather than passion the emotion is a breeding ground... etc. This had me confused on my first reading a week ago. I think that, yeah, this site probably attracts a lot of people who have just finished long relationships and are rebounding. From that point on, though, every one is an individual and who knows how well they will recuperate from there recent break up. I think it is a good think to mention if you are just out of a very serious tangle and trying to get back on your feet. That wouldn't necessarily scare me off of someone. But on the other hand, I think a great many people come to this site to look for some different to add to their lives that they aren't finding now. And that in itself is sort of a "rebound"--a rebound from boring sex or monotonous relationships. I think that, just like in the rest of life, we're all searching for a jewel among a world of shatered glass and hoping to find that something we think we have been missing in our past.


rockhard6969693 51M
10 posts
11/7/2005 7:21 pm

since my break up of my marriage,i have never got into a serious relationship again.i believe in just having fun,not hurting anyone,just having a good time.it was a long time after,i started dating again,so i was not on a rebound for any future relationships or just having fun.i dont bore with what happened in my past and dont ask anyone about their's


jockey212 50M  
94 posts
11/11/2005 7:35 pm

When I separated from my wife, I spent a few months getting comfortable being alone. When I started dating, I always told my date my exact status. My feeling was that honesty was the best policy...If things worked out, I didn't want the woman wondering what else I may have omitted. I made a personal commitment to not hold the past against the future. I also describe my approach to mating and dating with the following phrase, "I'm not looking for a relationship, but I am confident one will find me." This apparent contradiction is explained by my life experience which has shown that all my long-term relationships seemed to start when I wasn't looking for one.


rm_archer2800 51M

12/4/2005 8:51 am

I'm kind of starting to think the answer is definitely yes. I've come across quite a few peeps -- mainly guys -- that are obviously rebounding pretty hard, some of whom have gone back to their ex's pretty quick.
This is a good point. I just had this discussion with a friend of mine last night. I think men and womem on the rebound go back to thier ex's not because they want to pathc things up, but because they deeply miss all the intangebles inthe relationship. Having someone there, waking up with someone, the sex (of course) I could go on but I think you get the Idea.

Do you think there's somewhat of a duty to disclose this information, especially after getting intimate with someone? I tend to think I'd be hesitant about getting very wrapped up with anyone who had just gotten out of a lengthy relationship, and definitely would be much more guarded with my feelings, because of the high likelihood that they were unavailable emotionally and/or physically. Not to say I'm overeager to jump into a relationship or tie someone down, but I think a person isn't really capable of giving 100% of themselves even on a purely sexual level if their mind and heart is somewhere else.

Emotional availabity is key. Why try a relationship with someone that isnt there? I have to agree with you. I have reservations about opening my self up emotionally to some one recovering from a relatioship.


roadwraith 39M

1/16/2006 11:15 am

I think its very true. I have a person I considered a close friend that when I had first met her was in a relationship. Fast-forward 10 years and she had been engaged to that person, for a few years. The relationship ended, and I think she was very lost and just reaching out for the closest thing to a pillar of strength, if you want to call it that. The end of relationships can be a very disturbed period of time.


Become a member to create a blog