Fellas, Let Me Guess, All Your Ex's Are Psycho Too?  

daisy_lincoln 46F
3002 posts
11/22/2005 8:24 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Fellas, Let Me Guess, All Your Ex's Are Psycho Too?

I have a lot of male friends, both in and outside the lifestyle, who have broken up recently, declaring they did so because their ex was "psycho." However, as I look at some of the dynamics involved, I can't help but think some of the mindgames (and games generally) that they're playing with these women would undoubtedly drive even the sanest woman a bit crazy.

My questions to you:

1. Do you really think women play more games or act more erratically during break-ups?
2. Why don't women ever use the "psycho" excuse when breaking up?
3. Are they really "psycho," or are you making them that way?
4. Don't you know that you're supposed to break up right before summer, not the holidays? Geesh!! That ones a no-brainer!

rm_curious_cal 41M/41F
3 posts
11/22/2005 12:59 pm

***** personal message for Daisy *** personal message for Daisy *** personal message for Daisy *****
Sorry to use this to get in contact, I know it is not very appropriate...

Daisy on November 18 I wrote you an email called "One email among the 1000's"

This was a fantasy story in which you were the main character. Now I know I'm not entitled to any answer back, but complete silence is hard to cope with, understand me I was trying to be a writer, and my only public didn't even react.

I see some reasons :

- email got lost, I'll be happy to resend
- you didn't like it at all, please let me know and I won't bother you any more
- you plan on answering, sorry I'm pushy, but I couldn't bear the wait any more. Please at least let me now if it is worth starting thinking about the rest of the story...

******** end of personal message

rm_operatorb 55M
167 posts
11/22/2005 11:09 pm

Dear Daisy;I myself believe that relationships go wayward because of both parties.Noone should be labeled "PHSYCO",even if it is such a thing?I wig out,you wig out,everybody wigs out!If it's undenieghably nonfixable,bow out gracefully,and be happy that you had the priveledge to know the person at all!

gnr8nrg 46M

11/22/2005 11:39 pm

I don't think I've dated a psycho. Nympho's yes, but no psycho's.
1) I haven't experienced this, but a friend of mine is in a relationship and they push eachothers buttons and fight all the time. (No make up sex) Both have admitted to not dumping past relationships just pissing the other person off til they end it. Now they're together and it's like a battle.
2)I'm sure some women have, maybe even my ex. Just kidding, I think.
3)I think we make them up that way. He said, She said stuff.
4)The start of Spring isn't bad, by Summer everybody acts single and then Fall we couple up and Winter we snuggle up. However here in L.A. it doesn't get very cold so some stay single year round. Tis the season.

Birch_Man 53M
5 posts
11/23/2005 2:59 am

I once dated a woman I thought might me a bit crazed, but that is part of why I liked her at the time. She was a great fuck, and that didnt hurt either.

But after a few months, I began to think she was psycho, and it turns out that a year or so earlier she had been commited to a psych hospital. No biggie that, but she and I just werent getting on and living in New Orleans, I had other plans, so I broke up with her.

One night she came over when a bunch of us were sitting around listening to music, and she was acting VERY PSYCHO - not just run of the mill weird, but so much so that everyone there was uncomfortable and I had to ask her to leave.

I opened the fridge in the am and noticed that she had taken a sharpie and wrote notes over everything in my fridge = on the pots, dishes, egg carton, eggs inside the carton, inside of the fridge -- they were all covered with "i love you", "I hate you", "you make me want to..." ramblings.

The crazy ones dance and fuck the best...or among the best. But man, they wear thin after a while, dont they?

rm_cowboyj28 42M
9 posts
11/23/2005 5:15 am

yah i think women play it up,so they think its not there fault.they try to make u look like the bad one.

rm_cutechris269 53M

11/23/2005 9:10 am

the good ones are usually taken, so where does that leave me?

jockey212 49M  
94 posts
11/23/2005 2:52 pm

I've never had the psycho-girlfriend experience...To me, psycho is when your girlfriend talks about greeting you with a knife. Mind games, while unfortunate, usually take two people. It's only a game if you let the communications break down, or use static methods such as e-mail or text messages. I have long lived by the philosophy, "Never ask a question you either don't the answer or aren't prepared to hear the answer." A properly framed question and open ears can do a lot to eliminate the psycho factor.

Now, if I could only do something about the "Dear John" letters

Arrow411 39M

11/25/2005 12:31 am

Hello there Im the new guy around here.
I think everyone plays a bit of a mind game sometimes.
Psycho was my friends wife.
I think she was bipolar. But what she would do is say "give me money or ill hurt my self and say you did it." She was always doing
crazy stuff like that and she mint it. She know things where comeing to an end there. Also she was trying to get pregnant by him and others.
My wife just left me about a month ago. She said shes done.
Im 28 years old and We were Married for almost 6 years.
Here reasons where mixed. One was your blue collar and im white caller.
Meaning I work at UPS as a driver and she works in an office.
I think she found someone or something. Which is ok
because I understand shit happends.

Then last night she calls me up saying shes lonely and wants to come over and hang out.

Holidays Your right about that Daisy
She ended this around the biggest ones and now shes lonely.

rm_oel7 55M
6 posts
11/25/2005 9:23 am

I have sex in my short life with about 150 girls and woman and just very few of them was one night stands so I believe I can say that I was in relationship with most of them and I call them "EX".Out of that approx. amount was 3 REAL psychos (that amount I know exactly )
It is good score 150 : 3 but still I've bin in short period of time through the hell and I mean it! One of them ( very sofistcated Ford agency model)living in Manhattan Upper East side Penthouse after dating her for about two months on( and spending nights with her on regular basis) got me allmost in the jail(no smiley faces here).That night I was first time exposed to her being drunk and all the sudden in the middle of the night her personality completely changed .She was suspicious acusing me that I'm hired by her building managemant to seduce her ( she was one of the few last people paying rent in COOP building who did not want to buy) she cut herself in the palm of the hand with knife,start screeming :You see what you did to me!!!??? and totaly naked run out of my building (about 3 blocks from her building - both buildings with the doorman) As I was running after her the night patroll of NYPD puled over and I started to run the opposite direction.No charges was pressed.Thanks Got I never heart about her again and when I saw her occasionaly on the street she was pretending that we dont know each other.To the other two psychos I was exposed for longer period of time and the stories would take a book.Take good care about your body - IT'S TREASURE.

fixitboy007 54M
3 posts
11/25/2005 1:11 pm

You ask very good questions daisy !
The reaction of either parner is directly porportional to the emotional, physical, and time investment into the relationship. I do not beleive in the psycho. All people reach out with emotions and feelings, that equate into actions appearing as games, controll, hurt, and suffering... Happy in our relationships we enjoy it, sad in our relationships we loathe it, and instead of understanding what it is, we Label it. All of this is just the failure to understand, the abiity to react without understanding, and just plain BAD FORM. If you really care you take the time to learn and know.

StaynHardnHot 42M
305 posts
11/26/2005 6:11 am

Daisy my sexy darling, I think when women definately take break ups harder than men...given that they tend to be more emotional...especially when sex is involved...great sex that is...lol...so they have more of an attachment than men...men by the way have an inherent instinct to run from any drama..among other things..lol...so getting hysterical is not as common among men as it is in women...although...i must add...when it does manifest itself in a jilted male...it tends to become much more severe..and dangerous unfortunately....so a word to the wise...wether your male or female...always treat your partner well during your relationship...cuz it may do you worlds of good during the break up...lol
Daisy...drop me a line some time...would love to get to know you..


sorroWind_eol 32M
92 posts
11/26/2005 5:25 pm

Foolish people break_up when they know they can do the max damage;and that applies for men and women alike!

The 'women are from Venus' and 'men are from Mars' thing.....hmmm....I think,first of all,we all are from Earth.

As a brief 'story',I must confess all my girlfriends were special(not crazy,noooo) and I didn't mind that at all,just found it strange______________that is until I realised that we all are strange,'special' .

outlawman05 58M
5 posts
11/27/2005 12:01 pm

So much wisdom, she never ceases to amaze.Damn girl! Check you out!

rm_guiterman25 49M
7 posts
11/27/2005 2:29 pm

daisy tu es belle comme un ange is very sensualytingue kisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss daisy a love you

Go_4_the_Best 45M
12 posts
11/28/2005 6:38 am

My EX was a wondeful wife, great mother, and my best friend for many years.... She was not (nor is she) PSYCHO per se... she did however have some depression , took anti depressants... and that alowed ann underlying Bi_polar disorder to erupt... I miss the woman who was.. especially now thaat I am raising the children alone... but I can not say she was PSYCHO... I hope she gets better.. not for our sake as a married couple... but because she has seen the children 1 times in 2 and a half years and has not called them since May... I do tell people she has an illness... but I don't call her PSYCHO... Am I wrong here??

rm_chrybmb22 44F

11/28/2005 7:08 pm

Ok, this may be geared towards the men, but I just had to reply as I have a history of breaking the bad news to the men. Were they psycho? NO. They just didn't fit my needs. With age, I have learned honesty really is the best policy. In most cases, I think the men have benefitted from it. Some have even thanked me for my advice and honesty. I do think some women have a hard time being independent and dealing with reality that not all relationships are meant to be. I like to treat mine as "experiences" and make each one a little better.

They were usually fell into one of these categories: 1) not compatible, 2) not mature, 3) on the rebound & cried about THEIR ex and failures of a past relationship, 4) bad in bed.

With that said none of them turned psycho. I think men perceive most women as weak and not able to handle a breakup, thus making it more difficult on women because maybe they weren't as honest with them.

Kisses xo

rm_chrybmb22 44F

11/28/2005 7:12 pm

One last thought, is it really the end of the world if one were to end a relationship? Looking at all the elgible men on here, one certainly can't say there are no good ones left. Life is too short, and what is meant to be will be.

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

WntToLick 42M

11/29/2005 2:40 pm

I don't use the term "psycho" lightly, having been involved with an actual, certifiable sociopath at one point in my life. Of course, I didn't know it at the time, but as we got more serious, she popped up more and more often in unexpected places and times. Basically, she was stalking me, that's what broke us up, and that's what wound up with the restraining order I had to get against her after we were broken up.

Simple emotion does not make one "psycho". Rampant, unexplainable psychotic behavior, however, does.

RaterWivesParty 56M
51 posts
12/1/2005 1:51 am

Daisy, I think the problem lies between, 1) did you ever see this person so mad that the relationship would seis, 2) did u listen to the story way back in the beginning of your relationship with this person on what happened with the ex before you? If you ask that question in the beginning you will get an answer and it's a 1 sided story of corse since your never going to confront the ex to find out. If you put yourself in the place of the ex and listen to what they are saying it 8 out of 10 times it's the oppisite of what really happened because this person totally believes that's what happened. It takes 2 to have a fight. If you don't particapate then they fight by themselves, but be aware when making that decission for it show's that you don't care enough about the relationship to keep it alive. That's when the sparks will fly and you will see angure from your mate that you never saw before. This is a tough road to walk because there is such a fine line between love and hate, and most humans dont know the difference, which then will make them do crazy things because they are acting on emotions and circumstances they dont understand. Remember you would have had to love someone first before you could hate them. What doe's hate do to you? (man or women) 1hotstik

slickwilly773 61M
1 post
12/1/2005 5:55 am

As I am going currently through a divorce and trying to understand what went wrong I have run across a constantly re-occurring phase from the female side of relationships. That is "the grass is/may be greener". This comes from women who have gone through or thought of divorce. I not saying it doesn't take two to break it but the women agree that they want the "passion" back. After a long term marriage, kids, and living togather it is very difficult to re-create passion within that marriage. slick

universal6977 41M

12/1/2005 11:58 am

Well, we each make the other act in ways not normal to ourselves and inturn comes a reaction to inhanced over aynalized thoughts on the otheres reaction due to being around each other to much or too little. Then when jealousy comes into the mix as well you might as well go crawl inside of pandora's little wild ass box and hide because it will be a little more saine then what is going on outside of it. I just think that either the two people can resolve the problem and be upfront and honest or they can't and just start misplacing blame and try so recove dignighty with others to down play thier own short comings and such hince sayying that "crazy bitch". How ever it really is i just think that people just don't understand thier emotions and there is however the few loonies out there reguardless.

baadbc 51M

12/3/2005 4:33 am

Ok Daisy, just do me once, it will probably set the mark, then blow me off. I'll be psycho. Most likely, if you bullshit a girl, never tell her how you feel, and then say I need space, she'll be pissed. I have been in the past. Unless both parties communicate, one is going to be in the dark. Who wants to be blind sided?

findher692005 48M
7 posts
12/3/2005 6:15 pm

Answer to question # 1 Not only do women play games after a break up,they play even more mind games during a relationship. Answer to question # 2Women don't play the psycho card because in their mind they are always right. The man is the psycho. Answer to question # 3 Rest assured, you contributed to it. Answer to question # 4 Men don't follow seasons unless it's sports related.

rm_archer2800 50M

12/4/2005 8:42 am

My questions to you:

1. Do you really think women play more games or act more erratically during break-ups?
Not that they play games, but it has been my experience that they are deffinately more withdrawn. The "whats wrong, ...nothing" question comes up. I cant speak for all men, but I am not a mind reader so even though I know something is wrong, unless she wants to discuss it, there is no reason to persue it.

2. Why don't women ever use the "psycho" excuse when breaking up?
Not sure, I havent used the psycho excuse either. I have dated erratic women. My usual comment in situtaions like that, "nice girl but has some baggage I cant handle"

3. Are they really "psycho," or are you making them that way?

I hitnk a lot of men and women vilify their exes in order to make the pain of the break up easier to handle. "I am good to be rid of her/him" is typical. I try veyr hard not to do that. But the behavior of my ex after the break up has a lot to do with how I will remember her.
4. Don't you know that you're supposed to break up right before summer, not the holidays? Geesh!! That ones a no-brainer!

Ya you would think so. But then again, if you have to struggle to make it through the holidays woth some one, thats living a lie. Cant do that so. On the other hand, I had a break up about 3 months ago, less christmass shoping for me this year...
Hope this helps.
By the way, this is the kind of discussion I love to have with women, I always want thier perspective on stuff like this.

orel694me 48M

12/8/2005 3:14 pm

Hello Daisy I've been through 5 serious relationships, married & divorced twice. I've only had sex with 26 women in my lifetime. Most of my best friends are females and we still get together sometimes for some fun times. Your answer to Q1. Is that i've had women play mind games on me and forgive me for this but I'd always revert the game back at them. Friends don't mind fuck each other.
Q2. Haven't played the pscho card. Relationships are very emoitional.
Q3. To be honest I've made some women very upset emotionally that they actually hate me know. My first x-wife & one of my ex-girlfreinds won't even speek with me or look at me when I see them out on the town. But my 2nd x-wife and recent x-girlfriend are friends with me and we talk all the time and even get together once in a while. So I all depends on the person and the situtiation.
Q4. Can't control the seasons but I can control how I feel & If I'm not happy in a relationship I will not string it along but will and have been very open about my emotions.

rm_mrastro69 40M

12/18/2005 11:26 pm

i not sure but i would like to make u feel better...michael

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