Why are we here????  

daighi 49M
1627 posts
1/4/2006 10:50 am

Last Read:
5/29/2008 12:12 pm

Why are we here????

Hi there,thanks for dropping in.

I have just been reading & posting to some blog entries from different members.I enjoy reading the massive array of blogs out there.

One of my replies i feel will not be too popular with the masses,as it is in a very popular blog that we all read avidly.

It prompts me to ask the question....why are we here?

I know that when i first joined AdultFriendFinder,i joined with a plan to meet like-minded people,& establish some friendships,& possibly hook up with some friends for some harmless adult fun.

I have been very successful on all fronts,& blogging has opened up many more doors to some very special friendships,that i cherish.

I have made alot of friends,on quite a few levels,some more intimate than others.ALL very special to me in they're own ways.

I like to nurture friendships over time,& hopefully most of them become friendships with some degree of substance.Is'nt that why we are here?

Or.....are we here just to titillate one another,& try to arouse each others libido?

I know this IS a sex site,& i love reading peoples sexy blogs,but is that all that we get?Where is the substance?

I am a very sexual person,I love making love to women,& i love woman of all shapes,sizes,ethnic origins,& creeds.I suppose,i'm just trying to find something more in 2006,than just sexual fantasies in peoples blogs.

I would dearly appreciate above ALL else,having read this,if you would PLEASE post a reply to this thread,as i so need to know what you think?

Thank you,


"Always remember...keep smiling!"



Sulabula 45F
12658 posts
1/4/2006 11:47 am

Daighi...Your reply to that blog may not have been popular but it was what most of us where thinking anyway...

I think with my blogs I have a mixture of everything...not just sex...I didn't know what i was looking for when I joined AdultFriendFinder...as I said in one of my blogs I never realised that i would make some very good friends which I have...and some of them, as you say, I know more intimitly than others

Sula xxx

come visit my blog

silkysmoothlegs3 105F

1/4/2006 5:00 pm

Daighi ive wrote over a hundred bloggs and they are NOT all about sex

Why dont you and indeed sula not come out and say SILKYS blogg???

Why say THAT blogg

You yourself post about sex..

Im really hurt that you feel you need to single me out like this

I have never commented about either of your bloggs in such a manner

Ive always encouraged everyone to blogg

Im really upset

AnEnigma517 59M

1/4/2006 6:39 pm

Well said. (and, 'nuff said from me, in order that I don't further "offend" some folks.)

MyRealLoverOne 46M

1/4/2006 7:07 pm

I do not really understand why any of the blogs need our justification. After all, is that not what blogging is all about? To share whatever we want, when we want and how we want. If this blog..that you are referring to..which we all know what your talking about...is not your cup of tea, why don't you just not visit it. Why make judgements about it and hurt others? You do your thing and let others do theirs. The more people on here blogging the better variety to choose from. Is this really worth hurting someone over? Think about it!!!!

Real Lover

saddletrampsk 54F

1/4/2006 8:44 pm

We are all blogging for different reasons and I respect everyone's personal reasons for blogging..I am blogging coz its easier and more fun than meeting new men for sex these days..sheesh..

daighi 49M
1449 posts
1/5/2006 12:39 am

Thank you to all of you that have replyed so far to this.

Look,I just want to point out to you ALL,this was NOT a personal attack on ANYONE.

My comment has been deleted in this person's blog now,but if you had read what i wrote,you would see that i was only trying to give POSITIVE & CONSTRUCTIVE feedback to this person.I was'nt trying to attack His/her way of writing,or even suggest sensoring his/her blog.

I have written privately to this person & apologised for any anguish he/she may have felt over my posting.It was NEVER my intention to hurt that person.Although i do wonder as to why my posting has been deleted?Is it that the truth hurts & that if we don't like a critisism of our blog,we just delete it?Why would anyone bother posting to it then if their postings are going to be deleted?Surely we can ALL be adult enough to accept good & bad critisism's in our blog.

As i have posted in my own blog not long ago...I hope that i have struck the right balance between,humourous,sexual,factual & fictional content in my blog to try & keep eveyone interested.I have been told that i have,& i believe that to be true.

Lately,i just felt that this particular person had just too much SEX posting in his/her blog.In knowing this person for the short time that i have,i just feel that there is far more "Substance" to this person,than just his/her sexual fantasies.

I am an honest & trustworthy person.All of my postings,& comments both in my blog,other peoples blogs,& in my group threads,are honest & come from the heart.My profile is honest in every detail on here.I guess when i write something,it's not to everybodies liking,but at least it's honest.

I want to see MORE from this person,as i know there is much more to see,& know.Is it so terrible of me to want that?

We ALL wake up horny sometimes in the morning,& we ALL want to feel wanted & needed,& touched by others in certain ways.But do we all write about it almost everyday???NO!

Yes,I myself write erotica in my blogs,& what i have noticed is that i get MORE hits to my blog when i do.I don't get as many if i happen to write a poem,Or something humurous.What does this tell us?

The question this raises is....are we all just looking for a "quick fix" to our sexual gratification?Are our friendships so shallow that we yearn to be constantly turned on by words of others,just because they feel horny?

Where's the substance in that?

I too,love to read sexy stories,& yes,i get turned on by them as well.I also get turned on writing erotic stories,knowing that i'm sharing something of myself with perfect strangers.There are things that i write about here that i dare not say in my public life.Thats what makes it feel so good.

But,Is there something wrong with wanting more from here,from the people i interact with every day through their blogs & group threads?

I hope not,otherwise,how will i learn more about YOU as people?

Thanks for listening!


"Always remember...keep smiling!"



papyrina 51F
21133 posts
1/5/2006 2:56 am

mine is an extension of me,i'm exactly like my blog in real life as i am on here,

I'm a

i'm here to stay

QuiteAGoodHandle 51M

1/5/2006 6:03 am

> Silky....don't get annoyed, lighten up a little, don't take so much to heart.Keep writing those sexy thoughts babes

I second that.


QuiteAGoodHandle 51M

1/5/2006 6:09 am

And by the way Daithi, I'm with you. I've been the recipient of "similar wrath" from you-know-who. I wouldnt get too hung up about it.


(Princess Lips)

1/5/2006 7:11 am

I'm here to taunt, tease, flirt, titilate, arouse, spank, laugh, love ,smile, cry, cheer, support and hang out with my friends...

as far as blogs go, they belong to the owner...and are personal...so read em if you like, don't if you don't....


daighi 49M
1449 posts
1/5/2006 8:00 am

    Quoting nipafluff:
    daighi...I am now confused..with your slant on life...your previous blog is totally sexual ..and may offend some ??????/////

    Confused nips
Nips,thank you for taking the time to comment.I never once sadi that we should'nt write erotic material in our blogs.It's just that...all i asked is...should that be the be all & end all of our blogs.

I admit to liking "Sexual" blogs,both reading & writing them.However i do strive to hit the right balance,with sex,humour,fact & fiction.

lately,i just felt that this particular persons blog contained just TOO much of the one thing,& i was becoming bored with it.You have to admit that it does get tedious responding to many blogs with similar content.

Also,This person asked for feedback on his/her blog entries,& i told the truth,thats all.Why should that be a problem?If people don't want critisism,be it GOOD OR BAD,then they should'nt ask for it if they're NOT prepared to take negative comments.

I hope this clarifies it for you?

Thanks for your visit,& comments.


"Always remember...keep smiling!"



rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
1/5/2006 9:26 am

Ditto to Redlipsprincess...

I wasn't going to comment at all but I changed my mind. It was the blogs that kept me on this site...I believe that all of us that blog on this site are blogging looking for some sort of human connection; whether in person, chat, cam, or simply by sharing our thoughts.

Each blog is most definitely a reflection of that person, directly or indirectly. As I said on one of my blog entries; no one here knows anything about me except what I chose to reveal, and I happen to know that I am much more than what I chose to reveal. The choice and the mode of revelation is mine, obviously.

I enjoy feedback; I am getting better at responding, I am becoming more comfortable with it. Although I doubt that I would delete any comments, because I am verbally aggressive enough to enjoy a bit of tit for tat; if there was one that upset me to the degree that it ruined my enjoyment of any particular post then be assured I would delete it in a heart beat with no apologies to anyone.

Just as I chose whether and how to respond to any of the emails I receive.

As far as the "right" balance in the content of any blog; I think that is best defined by the blogger. I enjoy the different VOICES I see behind each blog; sometimes it takes me awhile to get the feel of the person behind it.

But I try to keep in mind that we as the readers are not editors...we are simply here to share in that ride IF we so choose. If one blog doesn't appeal to me or the daily post doesn't appeal to me then then I go look for some others or I post myself. If the person touches me to the degree that I really want to know something more; I use the more private forum of the email.

I am always surprised by how things and people are interpreted and misinterpreted by different people. I for one adore Silky and her blog...I see a very sensitive, generous, beautiful person behind her words....and I love her gentle, droll Irish sense of humor...

but to each his own.

mygmyg 59M

1/5/2006 12:06 pm

daighi, Initially the lure of this site was sex, and only sex. And when I am pervin' blatant sexuall depictions on the internet, 9 times out of 10 this site has a "Get Fecked Tonight" link w/in this content.

This always smacks me to the reality of what has kept me on the site, the Blogging, the interaction in the blogs, the exploration and discovery beyond my throbbing sexual interest, of the wonderful bloggers and commenters. So I am "inline" with you and others in this respect.

I surmise from this blog and comments within, that you intended to express an interest in Silky beyond her "offerings" in recent blogs. Your tone and intention did not translate.
Apologizing privately was honorable and respectful.

Silkys' blog is Silkys' Blog! As corezontouched on, "readers are not editors...we are simply here to share in the ride..." I understand Silky being upset with feeling "singled out" in this blog.
I read Silkys' blog everytime I enter the site, I want all that she is willing to "offer" of herself. Silky is her own gatekeeper in this respect, allowing us under "HER" sheets and into her mind, heart and soul.
I admire Silky for responding in your blog.

Daighi whether my intended placid tone of thought translates to you, in its intended manner without any malice, revealing my affection for Silky can alter perception of tone in my comments.

I found your blog/comments and comments of other bloggers to be very thought provoking!! and a positive self examination exercise for me today! hopefully it translates into brain power.

tillerbabe 55F

1/5/2006 1:59 pm

You know what? My BLOGGING is not ME, it's something I do. I would hope that I am much more complex than what only appears on here. WTF? If smeone doesn't like what i BLOG about...it's not going to change a whole lot about me. (believe it or not..we all have lives outside of this....I HOPE!) If this is "it" for you..the only place you get accpetance, the only place you get love...then yeah.. you'll probably be hurt if someone speaks their mind and doesnt like what you write. Annnnd, if that's the case - fuck it! Delete em'. Don't justify their statements by turning it into drama. It's just not that serious.
Hello? Does anyone really need to BLOG for survival?
Again..let's jus be nice and quit taking things so damn seriously.
If you don't like someone's Blog...don't visit it..if someone offends you in your BLOG - just "delete"..don't "trip" about it.
And let's all be able to laugh at ourselves once in awhile K?
Just my 2 cents.

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
1/5/2006 2:00 pm

I believe that every person is and is blessed right where they are no matter what it is that they are thinking or doing with their life. Blogging gives me the opportunity to first listen and then to speak and this area of Blogland has presented to me a wide and very colorful rainbow of people that I am becoming very attracted to hearing about what is up for them! I read alot, comment alot and find myself being bolder and bolder with my writing and believe that everyone reads what they need to for whatever reason.

I used to write......stopped for a long time and spent serious time painting. I know that I need a creative outlet aside from my work.
I haven't met anyone who triggers my mind and my heart like blogland has over the past couple of months! I was feeling a call to write again and you and the others in blogland here at AdultFriendFinder have become my muse. People here...very real people here...are rapidly becoming one big body for me as a multifaceted muse. I read for a long time back here before I posted anything and it was one of Traveling in Texas's blogs that triggered me to step out and begin to blog. I fought it and I am glad that I honored the call from within myself and began to write here. I was afraid at first. I am over that and that feels really good.

I am dating less and loving my time spent here. I haven't met anyone
that really floats my boat and I find myself looking forward to meeting fellow bloggers. I value friendship highly and appreciate
reading the hearts of the people here no matter what they look or sound like along the way to anyone.

As for writing, I write what's up for me. Don't care if anyone reads or approves or disapproves. If it triggers something, great. If not, great. Tomorrow is another day no matter what and God willing, I will stop by once again.

Appreciating you, Daighi, for who you are and the time you spend here in truth. Sending you love, Goddess

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
1/5/2006 2:03 pm

and also..
I haven't got a clue what you are talking about with
the problem that seems to be a problem here.

Life and let live.

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

Cowboy_Deluxe 38M

1/5/2006 5:03 pm

Cowboy ducks in and makes his reply. I have to agree with you on this blog, everyone needs substance. As far as friends go, I don't know, I really don't want a whole bunch of friends, but I am looking for intimate relationships. I mean isn't that why we are really here? Here I'll actually go more in depth, cause I like the diversity this sight has and I'll give you mine. I work 80 hours a week, I really don't get much time to do anything, clean and work and eat and sleep. I do get away for the holidays, and get a vacation once a year. So I figured well hell since I spend this much time at home, why not get on here and meet some women. Please women, have them beggin' sorry not really full of myself, just know what I'm capable of. Substance again! Come on definetly everyone should be after that. Yeah get yourself a little more in the new year, Cowboy tips his hat to ya.

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
1/5/2006 6:31 pm

I am here so I can be with others who are like me.

Purry {=}


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
1/6/2006 11:43 pm

What follows is just my opinion. It is just my thoughts no more true or valid than anyone else's. Hopefully it doesn't make you feel like you are being attacked as that is not at all my intention. I don't see malice in your words and I don't know you well enough to even begin to want to make a decision of whether or not I want to show you malice or kindness. I merely intend to add to the debate. If you don't like my words you can always delete them.

I'm glad you took the time to apologize. Like it or not we are all responsible for how our comments are interpreted and how we affect others.

You asked the question, if we don't like a critisism of our blog, we just delete it? The answer to that is obvious in my opinion. Of course people can delete comments in their blog if they want to. Just like people can write whatever they can get by the AdultFriendFinder censors they can also choose to delete whatever comments they want. I haven't had to delete any comments so far in my blog but I have been vocal in warning that I will delete any comments that maliciously attack another blogger. On one of my post I had one person calling someone an asshole because their views on the Iraq war differed from theirs and I had someone else saying one blogger should be gang f***ed. Those are more extreme cases but regardless I don't fault anyone for deleting anyones comment if they don't like the comment.

Blogs are personal space for some people and we have to allow for varying degrees of emotional vulnerability. Real world etiquette is more complicated than the golden rule. Just like in the real world you have to employ empathy in deciding the tone and content of your words in this bloodless medium. I've probably offended someone more times than I am aware of. I always try to give a sincere apology whenever I'm aware that I have offended someone. Unless of course it was someone who purposely offended one of my friends then I make sure the offending party is aware that I don't think they are worth spit.

What is the right balance between, humourous, sexual, factual & fictional content? Please say you don't believe we should all try to meet this balance or be critized for not meeting the cookie cutter standard. If I knew there was a right balance I would make sure I was never in balance. I'm glad you find contentment in keeping people interested. You should do what works for you. I post what I need to get out or sometimes just silly stuff just to have fun. I'm happy to have comments but I don't consider it my job to entertain anyone. Anymore I just post a few personal things I need to get out and a few silly things to have fun. I've had to stop entertaining people with daily posts because I can't keep up. Both ways are valid forms of blogging in my opinion because I don't think their should be any judgements on what people should write in their blogs as long as they aren't intentionally trying to hurt someone.

Is it so terrible of me to want MORE from a person? It depends on how you encourage change and how insistant you are. It is easy to imply someone is LESS unless they become the MORE that YOU NEED them to be. If someone isn't hurting someone else then live and let live is a somewhat functional philosophy.

How will i learn more about YOU as people? You don't get to learn more about people by being viewed as being critical of them especially when you haven't earned their trust. First you have to be a friend which usually means being willing to accept people for who they are and not by insisting they meet some idealized image of MORE that you have.

If a blog is boring to you then change the channel. Realize the impact your words might have before make a comment because you are bored. If reading blogs is tedious then find entertainment elsewhere.

I don't pretend to know everything that transpired but I do agree that if someone asked for feedback then they should expect the possibility of some negative feedback. However you should make sure to be sincere in your apology if you unintentionally hurt someone's feelings.

Best wishes for all involved.

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

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