Double Standards - how many sexual partners is too many?  

cutevixen69 49F
9 posts
4/12/2006 9:07 pm

Last Read:
4/22/2006 2:28 am

Double Standards - how many sexual partners is too many?


Recently I was chatting with a girl friend I've known for several years. She was divorced a few years ago and is (much like I am) on her second sexual journey of her life. She is not someone that most people would consider 'loose' by any means but she has had a fair number of sexual partners. We were discussing a new relationship she is in that seems to be getting serious rather fast. Although both of us have found that men usually don't like discussing the 'past' as it pertains to sex with other people, for some reason, her new love has a keen interest. She told me because of certain other things he has told her, she was reluctant to be truthful about the number of men she has been with before.

This got me wondering..... and not for the first time about how sexual activity is seen so differently for men and women. A man is simply sowing his oats if he has a one night stand, but a woman who does the same is seen as a slut. A man with more notches his belt than digits on his fingers and toes is seen as someone experienced, but when a woman with the same number is seen as a slut.

I was married to someone for over a decade who to this day has no idea (or interest) in how many sexual partners I had before him. He knows it was more than him so that was where the conversation ended.

After the chat with my friend, I brought the subject up to my boyfriend. He's 14 years younger than I am. We've both had the same number of sexual partners. Asking him about this opened an unexpected can of worms.... he told me he didn't like the idea of a future with a woman that had been with so many men. Ummm, babe, double standards here don't you think?

He excused HIS situation away by saying that a handful of them were one or two night stands. (I haven't had any one night stands unless you consider date which is a subject for another blog entry.)

Personally, I have to admit that the idea of getting involved with someone that has been with an exceptionally high number of people does make me a bit weary. I don't have any specific number in mind. I think that the age of the person and circumstances would affect my feelings about it. But that is just me.

When I asked HIM what he thought was too many for a woman, he said anything over 10 sounds bad. Hmmm right okay. Well, I can't change my past and I certainly wouldn't want to for THAT reason. (And he doesn't seem to mind the experience I have when it comes to us being intimate )

So tell me, visitors, what do YOU think about the subject? Do double standards really exist? How important is it for you when you are considering hooking up with someone new? Do you have your own double standards depending on whether this will be for a fling or something with LT potential?

Vix

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
4/12/2006 9:41 pm

Double standards definitely exist. Definition: a slut is a woman who treats sex the way a man does.

I'm not interested in little boys, or training big ones. I want someone with experience. I just want him to be safe and clean about getting it.

Oh, and as to number? I'm a girl, so I'm math challenged. I ran out of fingers and toes trying to count ...


rm_bucfannn 61M/60F
2110 posts
4/12/2006 9:49 pm

Double standards definitely exist, and it sucks. I'm one of those that believes the past is the past. Period. I don't want to know, and I sure as hell am not volunteering information, either. You have gotten your experience from someone, right? What does it matter if it's 5, or 10, or 50?


cutevixen69 49F

4/12/2006 11:46 pm

    Quoting rm_kelli4u2dew:
    Double standards definitely exist. Definition: a slut is a woman who treats sex the way a man does.

    I'm not interested in little boys, or training big ones. I want someone with experience. I just want him to be safe and clean about getting it.

    Oh, and as to number? I'm a girl, so I'm math challenged. I ran out of fingers and toes trying to count ...
Love the definition..... exactly what I was trying to get across.

BTW..... hoping that men aren't seeing my post/comments as being anti-men - far from it. Just trying to understand men a little better here and whether or not my experiences with men on the subject are pretty typical or not.


GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
4/13/2006 1:26 am

    Quoting rm_kelli4u2dew:
    Double standards definitely exist. Definition: a slut is a woman who treats sex the way a man does.

    I'm not interested in little boys, or training big ones. I want someone with experience. I just want him to be safe and clean about getting it.

    Oh, and as to number? I'm a girl, so I'm math challenged. I ran out of fingers and toes trying to count ...

agreez wholeheartedly....


SirMounts 102M

4/21/2006 7:22 pm

Well, I feel many double standards exist between Men and women, because their standards, according to their general beliefs and actions, differ also. It all results from sort of collective agreement - and rightly or wrongly - that usually only changes very gradually, over time.
Welcome to the blogs, cutevixen. *smiling*


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