Thoughts!  

cutecrip 47M
136 posts
4/30/2005 10:16 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Thoughts!


This I wrote at one of my lowest points emotionally...If at anytime while reading and a question arises please feel free to leave a comment and I have no problem answering any question posed to me.

Thoughts!

As I sit here and contemplate, I wonder with awe
at the things that have happened and all that I saw.
In my years, although few, have been filled with some strife
and at one point was happy, contented with life.

Now the road that I travel seems all twisted with turns
no regrets for that is what helped me to learn,
but I do often think about choices I made
and I hope they don't cause my desires to fade.

I made friends, some good, some bad as can be
and even those times have helped to shape me,
I try and do good, so the world has love but less pain,
but the harder I try, it seems like it's in vain.

At a time when I should be focused on healing my soul
the suffering and misery has taken it's toll,
I always stay strong and giving up's not my way
now my strengths fading fast, getting harder to stay.

My promise to all but especially my kids
was to never give up but continue to live,
I grow tired, so tired, and just want to sleep,
but alas, I cannot, for the promise to keep.

The ones that I love and have stood by my side
it's your faces I see in each tear that I cry,
the last thing that I want is to let all of you down,
just the mere thought of it twists my face in a frown.

All my friends tell me kindly, I should know this will pass
if they knew what I knew, then they too would laugh,
for the irony is, at my worst was my best,
and NOW that I'm good I face my biggest test

Do I stay? Do I go? I have prayed and I've asked
I was willing to follow or do any task
my faith waned away, as it did I felt fake
decision time! Fight on or my life shall I take?

There is only so much, I can take as a man
I just hope ya'll don't judge, and please understand,
that with pain comes the agony but it's supposed to stop,
but not for me, not that lucky, mines here til I drop.

So regardless, of what the decision will be
each person I've met has a place within me,
I just hope I've secured my place in your heart too,
whether dead or alive I'll always need you.

So I ask those that read this to pray for my soul
and maybe He'll spare me and let me grow old,
either way don't be sad, be happy, not blue
and remember that I loved each and everyone of you!

_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

5/4/2005 11:57 pm

wish I could hug you
*smiles*


cutecrip 47M

5/6/2005 7:48 pm

That made me smile...Thanks! I love hugs and have been told I give great ones. I'd gladly accept that hug if we ever met.


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