My Space, My Way  

cutecrip 47M
136 posts
4/27/2005 6:53 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My Space, My Way


A long time ago, or so it may seem, my life was filled with such joys...
An abundance of friends, a wife and some kids, a girl and two of them boys.
Then one fateful day, when just cruising along, my life took a drastic wrong turn....
Now daily I struggle with pain and despair, and for happiness I constantly yearn.
Did I do something wrong? Am I bad in some
way? Why must it be me to endure?...
Questions I've asked and still no reply, please tell me Lord what is in store?

The friends that I had, started fading away, like the light when the night claims the day...
They weren't true friends, I can see that now, just acquaintances that can't love me this way.
The few that remained, I will keep in my heart, because with them I can always be me...
Even trapped in this prison, my body, my cell, with them I can always be free.

Lost in a quagmire, of feelings so deep, my
emotions like muck hold me fast....
Scared of a future, and what it may hold, I long for the days of my past.
Am I crazy or selfish, to have all the thoughts, of death and what sweet release....
Do I continue to plod, while my pain rages on, unleashed like an untamed beast?

Is it fair for my children, to have a dad, that can
no longer run and play?...
Or having to answer friend's questions, like
"What's wrong with him, why's he that way?"
Why is it people stare at me so strange, when I'm
walking down the street?
Constantly whispering to others, that poor
man he moves like a freak!

Why do the good always have to struggle, when
there's those more deserving of strife.....
Maybe I'm one of those people that's bad, which
is why I must live this cruel life?
Perhaps I am good and being tested, by my Lord,
to see my response?...
Who knows, but it's harder to find happiness,
when MY beauty has now been ensconced!

Pain so ferocious, it reminds one of lions, feasting endlessly on fallen prey....
With this in your mind, can you see why it's hard, to have faith no matter how much I pray?
Here is where some, may feel pity for me, but they shouldn't, I have strength of mind....
My heart fuels desire to triumphantly stand, against all foes until it's my time!

I chose this way to introduce a little about what makes me...well, me! I have seen and done a lot in my life but being limited now gives me a greater appreciation for the little things most take for granted. To all that may read this may you find a reason to smile everyday because it heals the soul and keeps ones spirit peaceful.
Stay well, One love and God bless!

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
5/8/2005 12:17 am

We take so many things for granted until we can't do them anymore

Beautiful piece, hard to comment on

cutecrip 47M

5/8/2005 10:09 am

I agree 100% Goddess. I missed the smaller things in life when I was healthy but can now see beauty in the smallest and more simple things life has to offer. Thank you for the compliment. I think your writings are beautiful and stop by to read them whenever I log on. I thank you for sharing them with me. (I say me because I don't speak for anyone else)
Stay well, One love and God bless!

rm_affbreak 46M
287 posts
6/18/2005 2:50 pm

I don't believe in God - but I do believe in life being worthful. Don't waste time thinking about disabilities ... focus on the things you can strenghten and let your kids take part - now or later.

Don't ever try to hide behind things you can't do, move forward!

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