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More darkness (sorry)
More darkness (sorry)
If some of these poems seem redundant I apologize. It's hard always feeling negative and lost. Thank God those times have passed where thoughts almost became actions.
Life's a bitch and then you die or so the adage goes...
unless you're me it just goes on suffering from head to toe.
The happiness, it never lasts, there's always some more strife....
but yet I must continue on to live this ugly life.
My family, has helped me through but also caused me pain...
why must I strive to do good things when everything's in vain?
We've laughed and cried, joked and screamed, yet some things stay the same...
it makes me question many things, is it real or just a game?
I do my best to make it through another day of hell...
my spirit bloody, scarred, and bruised from all the times I fell.
But something deep inside of me, keeps me pressing ever on....
even when I want to quit and dread the coming dawn.
Another day "oh great, oh joy" I get to struggle more...
I wonder what's the next new thing that my life has in store?
I have some friends both old and new and I love and cherish them...
because without a few of them my life would surely end.
Can you imagine fighting for survival everyday?
not just all the little things, but a reason to even stay!
My heart, it aches, my mind, on edge, it's a wonder I'm still sane...
Please tell me why you chose me God to live my life this way?
"God have you forsaken me? Have I been too bad to love"?....
What can I do, I need to know to reach you up above?
Why must life be filled with hate, confusion, and ugly things?
Perhaps so we will recognize the good things that you bring.
What happens when the good things never seem to come too near?
Please tell me Lord for I grow weak, the fight is gone I fear!
Battled tested, strong no doubt, a rock to those I know...
a side of me that noone sees, how deep my sorrow goes.
My soul is lost, my purpose gone, how can I cry for help?
I do not know what I can do to even help myself!
A new day comes and then it starts, the tears begin to flow...
despair sets in from realizing that MY life is my foe!
Why can't I just be happy and find peace along my path?
Why does this darkness cover me like water from a bath?
Why is the pain so strong for some, yet little for a few?
These are the questions that I ask, and now pose before you.
5/7/2005 12:21 am
Every new day starts with a dawn that tells you there is a new day, waiting just for you to make the best of it.|
I know it can be hard sometimes to even open the blinds and see it, acknowledge it... but even without that she's still there, for you.
5/24/2005 5:16 pm
Perhaps you could try meditating on this scripture. Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times. Try this for the ones that try to for weapons againt you. Live life in such a way that those that know you and cross your path. Yet! they don't know GOD will come to know GOD because they know you. |
EPHESIANS 5:1-2 Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. And walk in love...
Hope you don't mind for me giving a few quotes. Even without those. I have an open heart and tend to give people the benifit of the doubt. We as humans feel. We can rise above and choose to be the better person with acts of LOVE. It's called tough LOVE. We can LOVE yet at a distance. Holding on to feelings of grief and discontentment aren't good for your well being. Live each day for that day. Leave tommorrows cares for tommorrow. Rejoice in another day to SMILE and LOVE on yourself. Your inner being. NO! God doesn't forsake us. Welcome challenges, for when you've over come, it only makes you stronger. Gives way to give testimony of overcoming in the face of the adversary. Yes! your a choosen one. Love from your "HEART" and not your mind. PEACE&JOY to you.