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Another Dark Time
Another Dark Time
I just realized that most of these poems were written at a time when all hope was lost so they have such a somber dark tone to them. I want those that read this to know I am not as hopeless as I once was and I can see beauty again in things most miss.
Handsome, sexy, charming and smart,
Great smile, nice eyes, and a warm loving heart...
Qualities given to me by the Lord,
But what I want most I can't truly afford!
Everyday I wake up, the sun shining on me,
Happiness still elusive, now how can this be?
With all that I have, and all that I've lost,
My sanity in question, is this too high a cost?
I've played out my part, is there more yet to come?
Can I rest now my Lord, are my trials now done?
I have love from many, my question is why?
I just seem to bring sadness and make everyone cry!
I used to bring good times to more than a few,
Had so much damn laughter, I rarely felt blue...
But now with my struggles and all of my pain,
That good guy is gone, I'm more liken to bane.
I put up a front that I want most to see,
It's not that I'm lying, but protection from me...
I feel like a phony, a fraud, and a fake,
And I don't know how much more of this I can take!
I gave and received since the time of my birth...
I know that I love, but I question it's worth,
Am I destined to live out my days in this way?
As I fight for a reason to continue to stay.
My pain I can share but it is mine to bear,
And with it I don't seem to fit anywhere....
It's taken my life and has turned it around,
I equate it with torture, or daily beatdowns!
I constantly hear "how I wish I could help",
I can't fathom why, when I don't love myself.
The light fading fast, lost the gleam in my eye,
It's hard trying to live when you just want to die!
I can not give up, ever onward I go,
If only to be here and watch my children grow!
The more that I struggle, to give what is needed,
Causes more pain and heartache, from lack of succeeding.
Have I really gone crazy? Am I truly insane?
To keep pressing and striving although it's in vain.
Is my time drawing near or cursed am I,
With long life and bad health, and tears almost dry?
How can it be that this burden is mine?
I wasn't that bad, well, not all the time!
Am I punished for things that I've done in the past?
Will my questions be answered, how long can this last?
And what of my life, all my plans that have faded?
Will I always see things through eyes now so jaded?
Will I be here to guide or hinder my children's lives?
The pain from that thought, brings fresh tears to my eyes.
Am I lazy, no good, have I given up hope?
I feel that I'm worthless with no way to cope.
What about God, the Lord up above?
He's forsaken me, I feel, taken back all His love!
That's why this path gets so lonely and dark,
His eternal flame gone now, not even a spark,
Scared and alone, I'm now dazed and confused,
With no hopes for salvation, it's my soul that I'll lose!
5/5/2005 12:00 am
Life is never fair|
thats what I know so far....
5/6/2005 7:24 pm
I definitely agree CnC. As long as one doesn't give up hope, there's always a brighter tomorrow.|
5/8/2005 12:09 am
ok... this is yet another attempt at a comment ...|