You're Hot 'Til You Say No  

cuteNEway 41F
1774 posts
10/10/2005 5:33 pm

Last Read:
10/10/2006 11:52 am

You're Hot 'Til You Say No

Girls I'm sure you've all experienced this at some point in your lives! A man approaches you, says hello and is actually nice about asking if you're interested in meeting/dinner/movie/drinks or whatever random activity he wants company for. You politely decline, he asks why. You again politely say that you can't/you're busy/he's not your type/you don't like the activity or whatever polite excuse is appropriate.

Suddenly you're a bitch/whore/cunt/skank/fat and/or ugly and he wouldn't want to be seen with you anyway...can someone explain what it is that goes off in a man's head for him to turn this way?

I can understand some name calling if the rejection is unnecessarily rude but after being turned down politely...I think not.

If anyone has any input or explanation PLEASE give me a clue because I haven't the SLIGHTEST!

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
10/10/2005 6:05 pm

Gee, I thought it was, "listen, you fat, ugly skank. I wouldn't go near your diseased cunt with someone else's penis. I was just trying to be nice, because I can see that no one will take you out, so I thought I'd throw you a bone and let you be seen with me, so maybe some fat, ugly, diseased man will actually look your way. I hope you die of AIDS."

Or at least, that's what I've gotten back in email when I send a polite no thank you.

Welcome to Blogland!

RailBaron2 54M

10/10/2005 6:11 pm

There is no explation,I have been rejected & turned down,No big deal,I get over it & move on.In only one instance did I continue to try over time to win one particulr womans attention, She was allways polite, but I just was not her type. I tryed for 3 years,She knew how I felt,& when I last saw her I wished her well before I left the area.I still think of her often, we never dated, But no other woman has been able to elicit such strong feelings from me. Being rude & crude to a lady serves no purpose except to Gaurentee she would never go out with that person if he was the last man on earth.let alone want a man like that as a friend.

cuteNEway 41F

10/10/2005 6:27 pm

That's q bit more accurate of course lol!!! Thanks for the welcome!!

cuteNEway 41F

10/10/2005 6:28 pm

That as always is accurate MissAnn!! Thanks for the welcome!!

digdug41 49M

10/10/2005 7:13 pm

well well look who we have here nice to see you cute and to answer your question if a female says no there are others who will say yes so why sweat it? I dont get it either but hey thats a guy for ya. and welcome to blogland it's truly interesting here. cya

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

rm_1SweetBitch 55F
8575 posts
10/10/2005 7:21 pm

This has also happened to me and I find it to be only proves that the person was really not what you wanted to have any contact with...and that your choice to turn them down was the right choice.

No Day Is So Bad It Can't Be Fixed With Great Sex!

1 SweetBitch

JarrodSparrow 33M

10/10/2005 7:29 pm

Men have very fragile egos...I myself take a lot of things that aren't that deep as personal affronts.

Rather than feeling rejected and put down, guys lash out however, to try to save face. Even though you were perfectly polite and nice, they think there is something wrong with themselves. Rather than feel that way, they attack you in the hopes that if you feel bad, they'll feel better.

In the long wrong the only thing it does it makes them seem like more like an ass to females, and more of a "stand up, take charge" guy to the males.

These attitudes are really pathetic, but sadly still exist.

Hope you haven't gotten too many of these, and if you have that you shrug them off as an obvious sign of the male's insecurities.

Welcome to the blogger world...hope ur addicted like us soon...

A slightly wiser male,

rm_CauseISaidSo 48F
182 posts
10/10/2005 8:17 pm

You know, cute, this could actually be a pretty effective tool to screen potential beaus!

Honestly, anyone who would get that upset over a "no" is someone who would undoubtedly cause major and very serious problems for you down the road.

But good topic! A good start for your shiny new blog!

PawPr1nt 51M
133 posts
10/10/2005 8:26 pm

JarrodSparrow is right about 'face' being important to a lot of men.

My theory is that a lot of us (men) are brought up and are expected to represent ourselves to the World (mainly womankind) by what we can achieve in concrete terms, rather than by our success in social/emotional situations. It is not so much that we have 'fragile' egoes as that our egoes have been trained to feel good when we deliver the goods, hit the mark or in some way metaphorically bring down the antelope for the tribe.

When a women stonewall's a guy's pitch, she is kicking him in the goal-oriented nuts. Women do the same to each other by sending one other into emotional exile when they disagree on something; you are especially hurt as a result of social or inter-relational rejection.

Not all of us men react the way you describe above, because probably we have other and more important short- and long-term goals in our lives.

I wouldn't take it so personaly or seriously that I guy mouths-off moments after sweet-talking you. It's the guy's way of compensating for the escape of the antelope

lifeisablast333 54M

10/10/2005 8:35 pm

The type "A" personilaty, does not deal well with rejection, at any level. They respond most times with anger. You now know the truth about the guys that have acted that way to you, use the information as you see fit. Also to me it proves the point that they were not a good choice to begin with..........The Redneck

cuteNEway 41F

10/10/2005 9:53 pm

OH I rarely take it personal when they do that!! I actually make fun of them...OK OK OK by rarely I mean less than 50% of the time

But I am learning to let it go an make fun of them and make them leave the chatroom {YAY}

thanks for all the input tee hee

PawPr1nt 51M
133 posts
10/11/2005 6:49 am

or... CuteNEway, if the guy is in all other aspects an interesting prospect, maybe you could slap him down and train him up? Chances are the guy hasn't had firm-but-understanding treatment from a women too often. Reflexes are habits that can be changed and all you have to be is the motivating factor that he is willing to make the effort for.

Mind you, if you are only here for the speed-flirt and superficial sex thang, move swiftly to the next prospect and see how he performs

ASensuousMan 59M

10/12/2005 6:50 pm

Well, the way I see it, here's nothing the guy like confirming that you made the right choice by not dating him!

Seriously.. low class, no class.

You, and ANY lady, are much better off without anyone who is capable of such behavior.


jerry4oralfun 62M

9/6/2006 1:14 pm

There isn't an explanation other than they are childish/immature individuals. Be who you are and stand your ground. These type of guys deserve to be laughed at and their actions are the primary reason they don't have a woman and likely won't unless they find that so-called "bitch/whore/cunt/skank/fat and/or ugly" person they referred to you as.

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