Why DO I Bother? (A Chronicle in 6 Parts)  

cuteNEway 41F
1774 posts
2/14/2006 10:42 am

Last Read:
7/6/2006 1:33 am

Why DO I Bother? (A Chronicle in 6 Parts)

I was excited and annoying the crap outta my friends (right MissA?) all week. I had a date with a man that actually makes decent money and he was actually taking me out to dinner. At a real restaurant.

The morning of my “Big Date”, I put on a cute outfit with cuter underwear underneath (please keep the underwear in mind). I put on some fab make-up. Metallic green eye shadow looks mahvelous on me. You ask why I did all this so early in the morning…well because I was meeting him right after work and I wouldn’t have time to do all of this then. SO…

I was feeling good and pretty and like it was FINALLY happening for me. See I’ve never been taken to dinner. In fact I’ve never been on a REAL date where a guy asks me out and tells me he wants to take me to dinner. So you can imagine how amped I was. Finally he emails me with the name and location of where he’s taking me. I asked around and found out that it was an excellent restaurant but that it was pricey. (WOO HOO PRICEY RESTAURANT AND I’M NOT PAYING!!!)

Self Doubt
I get to the restaurant and it’s freakin Midtown Fabulous! Low light. Waitresses that look like they should be on a Versace runway. Fab gay bartender. All in all the perfect City restaurant. As I walked in, The-Voice-In-The-Back-Of-My-Head-That-Hates-Me kept saying, “they’re gonna know you’re a broke bitch and ask you to leave…look at the people here, they’re tall, thin and rich, you don’t belong here…” I shut The Voice up long enough to tell the hostess that I would be waiting for someone at the bar. The fab gay bartender asked if I would like to see a drink list. I decided on an $8 glass of Australian Cabernet (the cheapest item) that was actually very good.

Now the fact that I was drinking an $8 glass of wine kinda scared me cuz The Voice kept saying, “yer getting stood u-up, yer getting stood u-up!”. Yes I am THAT insecure (right MissA?). And I thought that I was gonna end up paying for it when I coulda used that money to drown my sorrow in a vat of Dolly Madison Mississippi Mud Pie ice cream and a large bag of Doritos with some ranch dip.

Dinner and Drinks
Thankfully a couple of sips into my wine, my date showed up. He was A LOT better looking than his picture and taller than I expected. He was cute, smart, funny and we had great conversation. Plus he paid for the drinks! We sat down to order something to eat. As I’m looking at the menu I realize that this place is way to frufru for my simple taste. The menu was mostly comprised of seafood concoctions, veggies and legumes that I don’t have a taste for and meats that had some kind of fruit sauce or another…fruit is fruit, meat is meat and they should NEVER be in the same cooking vessel…YECH!! As he’s looking at the menu he says, “I’m thinking…” and I jumped in and said, “Applebee’s?” he looks at me kinda funny and I smile. He then says he never even heard of Applebee’s. I tell him its good and it’s right up the block.

He then asks if anything in the menu is speaking to me. I told him no. He then asked me what kind of food I like. I told him that I like Italian food. He then says that he knows the perfect place. The perfect place turned out to be a quaint lil Italian place on the UWS (below 96th street). The food was wonderful and the guy was still cute, smart and funny. And he was still paying! We were joking about how the cute gay waiter (couldn’t be over the age of 20) was our bitch. We left the restaurant. We took a nice leisurely stroll. It was about 3 blocks to his place.

His Place
We rode up in a teensy elevator that was actually smaller than my bathroom (my bathroom is appx 5x4 and I think I’m being generous). His apartment was a nice size for a single guy. He just doesn’t know how to use the space he has, but that’s a whole other story! He took my coat and hung it in the closet. Offered me something to drink and something to smoke. I drank water and smoked. He put on this fantastic Arabic music. We were still talking and laughing. At one point things got quiet and we were sitting back on the couch kinda leaning on each other.

Suddenly I feel his mouth on mine. The weight of his body against me. There’s something about the first time you feel a man’s lips on yours…that first kiss feeling (SIGH). His kissing style was different, not bad but different nonetheless. We did this for a little while on the couch. Kissing and touching. Getting in the mood. We stood up and kept doing this on the way to the bedroom (yes I put out on the first date if I feel that connection dammit). Against the wall, in the bedroom doorframe. Then we get to his bed and he strips down. Hairy chest…tolerable. But his back was just as hairy…gross but I decided to ignore it cuz I needed to get some tee hee.

OK so now he starts taking my clothes off. Does some touchy-touchy and stuff on the way down. Now the cute underwear that I mentioned earlier…he didn’t even SEE!! He pulled them off right along with my pants (do you now understand the title?)!! Then when he takes a peek at my mound he said in this tone like he was expecting it but was REALLY disappointed, “of course she’s shaved” and rolled his eyes. One thing I failed to mention in the Dinner and Drinks part was that he mentioned that he likes girls that are natural like hippie chicks…and here I am, wearing this gorgeous metallic green eye shadow (not drag queen heavy but it WAS noticeable). Again: why DO I bother??

And Now…The Rest of the Story
After a few more minutes of the touchy-touchy kissy-kissy, we get into real touchy-touchy. I started going down. He was very appreciative of this, just not as appreciative as I would have liked. His fingers played but never entered. His mouth? Fine thank you very much but nowhere NEAR where I wanted it to be! That’s right…he doesn’t go down! Again I decide to let it go because some guys just don’t like it. So we get to it and as he’s stroking he is saying, in a strange low voice, “Now we’re fuckin. Yeah! Now we’re fuckin…” this kinda creeped me out but again I let it go. But at this point I wasn’t feeling it anymore. I couldn’t get into it. I guess he noticed or he got tired…who knows…and he stopped.

So he lays on the bed and I’m half leaning on his (wookie) chest. He’s caressing my back. Now I’m like a cat. You stroke my back the right way and I’m all over you! So I’m kinda getting back in the mood and I went to kiss him. I thought I felt him turn his head. I tried again and he turned his head. Again. He asked me to touch him and I replied with, “kiss me”. He said in a strange (theme of the night) whisper, “no tongue”. I figured he had dry mouth from smoking and I asked him if that was the problem. He made a face like something didn’t smell right and said, “the cock sucking”. I was shocked, appalled and disgusted at this explanation.

My response was simply. “you fuckin KIDDING me? It’s not like it’s dirty. If it was I wouldn’t have done it!” He tells me that there’s something about it so he can’t. At this point I’m completely turned off and feeling VERY offended. I’m thinking to myself, "now pay me so I can feel like a COMPLETE whore!” I was laying on my belly with my arms crossed under a pillow, feeling very exposed and embarrassed. He is laying on his back playing with himself and he tells me, “Let’s just masturbate and watch each other.” I said no. He makes another one of those something-don’t-smell-right faces and said, “Oh yeah you’re the sensual type not very visual.” I nodded. Then he asks if I mind if he cums. I said I don’t mind. Then he asked if I mind playing with his balls. I said, “I mind very much thank you.”

Turns out nobody came and we got dressed and went back to the living room. I used his computer to check my AdultFriendFinder mail. Smoked some cigs. We talked for a while about cartoons. Then it got quiet. He said, “I think I’m gonna crash out soon.” That was a please-leave-my-apartment if I ever heard one. So I immediately got up put on my shoes and bid him adieu. He got defensive and asked if I was mad and said that he didn’t mean that I should go right away. I said I wasn’t mad. And I really wasn’t. I was just really disappointed.

So I left his apartment feeling exposed, embarrassed and dirty. It sucks. He didn’t even pay a cab for me to get home. So as a result of all this I spent the weekend eating everything in sight. Including a half gallon of Dolly Madison Mississippi Mud Pie ice cream.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
2/16/2006 6:04 pm

oooh... They still make Dolly Madison stuff? You can't get that around here!

cute, this guy has issues. Major issues. Lots and lots of issues. What a jerk.

rm_CauseISaidSo 48F
182 posts
2/16/2006 6:17 pm

Oh Gawd, you poor thing. You deserve the big night out AND the big payoff. I am sorry to hear that it fizzled out like that, but you know, at least it was half a decent evening and he treated you to a nice meal. It's not your fault he turned out to be hirsute and sexually Amish, lol.

And you are SO bringin' the Mississippi mudpie icecream to our next game or movie night!!

digdug41 49M

2/20/2006 8:39 pm

hey cute dont sweat it if it were me it woulda been alot different some guys are just idiots what can i tell ya hang in there you'll find some one worhty of your affections you'll see it'll happen when your not looking for it.

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

rm_vlad41965 51M

2/22/2006 2:37 pm

Cute as Ive told you time and time again.....NOTHING is wromg with you....this guy's obviously an idiot....you are a truly magnificent lady.

By the way, you handled him in a much more civil manner than I would have....KUDOS to you!

rm_gregory01 46M
1 post
3/12/2006 3:18 pm

Hi Cute. I read your story and Im sorry it went badly for you. The reality is, you cant make yourself crazy over someone else's hang ups. In the few times we chatted in the room, ive found you to be a very good natured person with a great personality. youre more than cute too! Just hang in. Not everyone is going to show you a bad time. Youll find what youre looking for, sometimes the searching gets in the way of finding....

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

3/13/2006 5:17 pm

Hey Lady, first time reading your Blog and Girl you have to much going for you to allow this pin-head get you DOWN...You handled it all with style and grace, take care....Ready

...And I loved your comment on MissAnnThrope's blog about being a "stupid motherfucker" that's how I found you...!!!


rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
3/14/2006 8:57 pm

Thank you for the nom. You're kind.

free2chose2 66F

3/28/2006 11:26 am

To quote Forest Gump-" Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get"-Miss you

Don't worry, be Happy

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