I Am Not Your Ma  

cuteNEway 41F
1774 posts
8/15/2006 1:30 pm

Last Read:
9/8/2006 7:57 am

I Am Not Your Ma

Yes, I'm Hispanic. Yes, I speak fluent Spanish. Yes, I am proud of my heritage.

But it pisses me off when people think I'm your run of the mill 'latina'. I have come to hate that word.

Why? You ask. Because of the stigma attached to it. When you hear latina what comes to mind?

That chick from the barrio with long curly hair stiff from too much gel, huge doorknocker earrings and the latest lady hip-hop fashions?

The hoochie in the club grinding to reggaeton music?

Am I supposed to look a certain way? Am I supposed to act a certain way? Speak a certain way? Dress a certain way?

"Oh you're Puertorican? You live in The Bronx, right?"
No, I do not live in The Bronx. Nothing wrong with it. I just hate it when people assume that I do because of my nationality.

"Oh you're Puertorican? You listen to reggaeton right?"
No, I don't. If it's playing at a club I'll dance but it is not something I have in my music collection nor my MP3 nor do I tune it on the radio.

"Oh you're Puertorican?" {insert lewd look here}
Um whatever it is you're thinking...NO you are not getting it that easy. Fucker.

I hate when a man I don't know calls me "Ma". I hate when men say "what's good" as a pick up line. I HHHAAATTTEEE being called "chula".

I am not the average spanish chick. I don't talk like Rosie Perez, I can't dance salsa, I prefer a pub that plays rock instead of "The Copa" or "LQ's". I don't put gel in my hair, I rarely wear earrings.

I'm not into being hit on with cheap, lazy slang. In fact I avoid dating hispanic men. I don't hate who I am, I don't hate who they are. I just hate the fact that people fall into the stereotype that society sets because its expected of them.

It's sad and it makes us all look bad.


woofff 41F

8/15/2006 2:16 pm

OMFG We did it again.

I just finished my own fight with stereotype within Indians, Cutey.
I am so put off that I have a post up on my blog identifying the race
I am put off by - my own race. I mean, I don't give a hoot who's offended when I have been offended in the first instance. Not to say that non Indians are knights on white horses with roses held between their teeth....but invariably an Indian will become overfamiliar, overbearing and lewd with me on account that I am too am Indian.

WTF?? Yeah exactly!!!I got fed up and I demanded to know from my own head: ok, you. Is it men or is it sex or is it me??

Answer: Its not you. Chill. rofl.

I really enjoy your humor. I love the duality in your mood and tone.
Mood is irritated, aggravated, pissed off....and tone is hysterically
wry, self affirming and sarcastic.

Love it.

PS: shall give link to post? Shall. [post 461422]

Take care, you.

Woofff (Di)


free2chose2 66F

8/15/2006 2:29 pm

I don't look at nationalities/race for dates-just the person

Don't worry, be Happy


cuteNEway 41F

8/15/2006 2:49 pm

woofff...I know! It's scary! LMAO...but I am glad to know that there is someone out there that knows and understands the shit I put up with!

foto...Dude I don't even know WHY I started calling you Daddy...but it's a deal! No Daddy, no Chula.

free...I try not to look at the nationality. But when a man approaches me with that stereotypical slang, it's a total turn off. I don't bother with ANY man that does that regardless of race, color, creed or national origin...is that how it goes?? lol


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/15/2006 6:25 pm

Aw Ma, why you not be a good little chula and let papi tell you what you should be?

Please don't hurt me.

Now put on your J-Lo fashions and your 9K giant hoop earrings and find a nice, macho chulo and hit the dancefloor at Crobar.


strongelk2006 53M

8/15/2006 8:00 pm

Most people don't look at the person,,,,only what they think you should be in thier minds. I'm half Native American ,,and I live in a small town full of Bohunk,or Czech. I was push out of this town twenty years ago,,and now I'm back. They know me and only now I have made some friends here ,,,but still looked at as lower then them. So just hang in there little sister,,we'll make it in this just find.

Peace,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Coolness..............N.B.


Peace,,,,,,,,Coolness..........N.B.


CARGO52 64M
128 posts
8/16/2006 7:11 am

GREAT POST, I HATE THE RACE CARD AS MUCH AS YOU . IT NOT WHAT ON THE OUTSIDE THAT COUNTS , IT WHAT ON THE INSIDE AND YOUR INSIDES SOUND JUST GREAT THAT THE REAL YOU . KEEP ON KEEPING IT REAL.....CARGO

Cargo 52


cuteNEway 41F

8/16/2006 7:13 am

looking...too funny lol butt monkey!

MissAnn...I am SO sawing your cane...

Nekkid Boy...for me its a question of not being "Spanish enough". My own sister accuses me if wanting to be white (???) because I don't talk like Rosie, because I don't like the clubs, because I prefer a man that wears clothes that fit...

MzHuny...I love being "ethnic", but there are so many horrible things that people assume about me because of who my parents are and where I was born.

Spunky...sucks doesn't it?


TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
8/16/2006 1:03 pm

Well, if you move over to the UK you'll certainly leave all those stereotypes behind ...

... mind you, I'm not promising you that you won't find new ones to deal with.


QuaffJalapDerma 40M
78 posts
8/16/2006 1:46 pm

Hey,hearing people come at you with the steriotypical lines can be a good thing. It helps you rule out the narrow minded "butt monkeys"(as Looking calls em). Heck it helps you rule them out right away without having to waste your time or half the night talking to them.The way a person first approaches you(body language,verbal comments,his/her intro)Can tell you an incredible amount about him or her.When the conversation starts,you learn even more about him/her,and not necessarily just by what he/she says.
So,be happy that it can sometimes be so easy to spot them!!


cuteNEway 41F

8/16/2006 2:39 pm

Quiet...you offering me a place to stay and a job??

jus4...wow that's a good way of looking at it! Never thought of it that way! Thanks


rm_CauseISaidSo 48F
182 posts
8/16/2006 7:19 pm

NE you sre so far away from any stereotypes I can think of..except maybe the Jewish mother, LOL. I love you just the way you are!


readytolay_3
(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)
105F

8/16/2006 10:27 pm

Hey Cute your not your typical anything most of all Woman. You have a mind of your own and your intelligent and not afraid to use it. I'm of Native American and Irish descent so I can so relate to the stereotyping that gos on.I swear to come fucking god if someone saids "how" to me ever again, it well be the last ignorant word to come out of their mouth...Ready

Ready


AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
8/16/2006 11:49 pm

worst thing I've ever heard...oh, you're portuguese? Say something in Puerto Rican. I said, well, I'm portuguese and not puerto rican. they speak spanish and my spanish is a little rusty. Then they said. wow, you must be ethnic if you know some trivia like that. You must eat a lot of tacos.

Shit you not.


cuteNEway 41F

8/17/2006 12:51 am

Cargo...OK where was your comment and why did I miss it TWICE?? Fuckin AdultFriendFinder servers!! (

Cause...AdultFriendFinder mother!! OK OK you got me there...

Ready...I know girl I know. I takes everything I have not to smack them!

Atomic...I knew there were idiots in this world but DAYUM!! Are these people even high school graduates?? UGH!


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/17/2006 8:34 am

Hey, mamacita! Saw my cane and I'll be delivering the hurt on you!


cuteNEway 41F

8/17/2006 10:29 am

Why did I get censored for writing J e w i s h mother in my reply?? Dumb bastids.

MissAnn...Only if you can catch me!!!! HAHAHAHHAAAAAAA >>flees<<


CARGO52 64M
128 posts
8/17/2006 9:15 pm

    Quoting CARGO52:
    GREAT POST, I HATE THE RACE CARD AS MUCH AS YOU . IT NOT WHAT ON THE OUTSIDE THAT COUNTS , IT WHAT ON THE INSIDE AND YOUR INSIDES SOUND JUST GREAT THAT THE REAL YOU . KEEP ON KEEPING IT REAL.....CARGO
this is a repost in case the first one didn't go thru......cargo

Cargo 52


QuaffJalapDerma 40M
78 posts
8/17/2006 11:10 pm

Cute,You are very welcome.There is almost allways a bright side.Well,,almost!


danteszippo 52M
3873 posts
8/19/2006 9:19 pm

your post describes all the typical annoying things associated with stereotyping by people, yet you finish with "it makes us all look bad."

The direction we have been taking for thr past ten years has been one of separatist hyphenations (african-american, latin-american, etc.) The entire concept separates AMERICANS as a whole. Myabe next time just say, "I'm American, born here, raised here"- whatever the ccase may be. I have european background, yet it seems quite ridiculaous to say upon meeting someone "I'm european-american." get what I'm saying?

PS- You're very pretty by the way.


cuteNEway 41F

8/20/2006 3:21 am

    Quoting danteszippo:
    your post describes all the typical annoying things associated with stereotyping by people, yet you finish with "it makes us all look bad."

    The direction we have been taking for thr past ten years has been one of separatist hyphenations (african-american, latin-american, etc.) The entire concept separates AMERICANS as a whole. Myabe next time just say, "I'm American, born here, raised here"- whatever the ccase may be. I have european background, yet it seems quite ridiculaous to say upon meeting someone "I'm european-american." get what I'm saying?

    PS- You're very pretty by the way.
Dante...I was born in Puerto Rico so I am a true Puerto Rican. I am not second generation american like most of the people of Puerto Rican heritage.

And yes it makes all us hispanics look bad when people act like the stereotype expects, otherwise why would people aske me those questions I complain about?


cuteNEway 41F

8/20/2006 3:25 am

magahee...granted there are quirks that each community has but people tend to fixate on the bad things.

cargo...got the first one

jus4...that damn silver lining is so picky!

dante...thanks for the compliment


danteszippo 52M
3873 posts
8/20/2006 11:36 pm

You live in the US, you're an American.


danteszippo 52M
3873 posts
8/20/2006 11:38 pm

If you are a citizen of the USA, then you're an American. you missed my point entirely.


cuteNEway 41F

8/21/2006 3:33 am

Dante...I did miss your point. My apologies and I absolutely now get what you mean! Thanks for clearing that up hun


KC_JJ 53M

8/21/2006 8:39 pm

See my related gripes about the term "latino" here Which Token Latino Actor?

MMM [ MMM


danteszippo 52M
3873 posts
8/23/2006 1:02 am

I'll just say you're a sexy woman


elmexicano_2k 46M

9/8/2006 4:39 am

Yes, I'm Hispanic. Yes, I speak fluent Spanish. Yes, I am proud of my heritage.
Same here

But it pisses me off when people think I'm your run of the mill 'latina'. I have come to hate that word.
No one thinks im a run of the mill hispanic

Oh you're Puerto rican? You live in The Bronx, right?
No, I do not live in The Bronx. Nothing wrong with it. I just hate it when people assume that I do because of my nationality.
I get, are you from California?

Oh you're Puerto rican? {insert lewd look here}
Um whatever it is you're thinking...NO you are not getting it that easy. Fucker.

I've never been asked if I know how to break into a car. If I did, I really think I would die from laughter.

I hate when a man I don't know calls me Ma. I hate when men say what's good as a pick up line. I HHHAAATTTEEE being called chula.
How about mami? Is mamasita ok? Mamasita, donde esta Santa Claus?

I am not the average spanish chick. I don't talk like Rosie Perez, I can't dance salsa, I prefer a pub that plays rock instead of The Copa or LQ's. I don't put gel in my hair, I rarely wear earrings.
Ok, we need to change the salsa attitude because that is some fun shit to watch. I can't even imagine how much fun it is to do.

I'm not into being hit on with cheap, lazy slang. In fact I avoid dating hispanic men. I don't hate who I am, I don't hate who they are. I just hate the fact that people fall into the stereotype that society sets because its expected of them.
So wait, you don't date any hispanic/latino men or just the ones that fit the stereotype? They can't all be that bad?

It's sad and it makes us all look bad.
I agree with you some Cute. I guess I just don't understand east coast hispanics as much (Puerto ricans, Dominicans, and Cubans). There are still things that are a mystery to me. I'm from Texas so the only hispanics I saw were Mexicans. When I first moved up here, I had a Puerto rican neighbor and for the life of me, I could not understand one single word he said in spanish.

Before, I had a hard time telling apart the darker hispanics from black people. I assumed they were black. I can now tell the difference between blacks & hispanics by their mannerisms and even attire. Also, some of the stuff you mentioned above.


Butch: I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit.


cuteNEway 41F

9/8/2006 6:20 am

Mexicano...

Honey! Nothing wrong with salsa. I have tried dancing it but I just can't get it!! I would LOVE to be able to dance it well!

I have considered and started talking with hispanic men but most of them end up pulling the same bullshit stereotypical machismo, "lemme find out" attitude. I don't deal well with, "oh so it's like that?" Fucker I've only been talkin to your stupid ass on IM and all of a sudden you have to play jealous? We haven't even met!

And about the unintelligible dialect, y'all mumble!! lol If we ever meet I'll switch it to a Colombian accent for you to better understand, OK?

(yeah I'm half Colombian)


elmexicano_2k 46M

9/8/2006 7:32 am

Oh mexicans do not mumble! Hell my mom, who is fluent in spanish, has no freakin clue what puerto ricans are sayin! I didn't feel so bad after she told me this.

As for hispanic men being macho, yea I see that a lot in my family. My brother and I aren't like that because we're momma's boys. We couldn't pull that shit on her.

Salsa hmm, ok well I'm taking lessons next spring so when I learn my mad salsa skillz, if I ever head over to your neck of the woods, we're hittin the dance floor.

Butch: I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit.


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