Finally! The Male Relationship Ranks and Definitions  

cuteNEway 41F
1774 posts
6/26/2006 10:18 pm

Last Read:
8/12/2006 11:56 am

Finally! The Male Relationship Ranks and Definitions

All righty kids! Here it is! You’ve waited a long time for this. The flipside of Relationship Rank and Definitions. I assure you the ranks are not equal. In fact most ranks do not have a male equivalent. It’s not as funny as the other one but I am not a comedy writer. I did my best…Enjoy!

My Husband - The one and only...man who you have sworn your life to. He now knows what a slut you really were and really doesn't care cuz he loves you.

My Man - Serious relationship material. The one that believed you when you told him he's your 5th. After some time together he suspects you’re more experienced than you admit to being because of that trick you did that time…yeah. One question and one confession away from being The Husband. All major holidays are spent with him.

My Guy - The one you're dating regularly. He still has no idea how much of a slut you really are. It's assumed that you'll spend weekends and non-major holidays together.

Friend With Benefits ‒ While men think that this is the same as fuck buddy, they are (of course) wrong. This is the guy that you call when you’re just feeling lonely and you want some company for dinner or a movie. You know that you’ll end up in bed but you enjoy teasing each other through whatever activity you chose to enjoy before going back to his place. He knows what a slut you are and enjoys all of the skills you’ve acquired.

Fuck Buddy ‒ Just that. The man you call when you just need a good fuck. You have him listed in your phonebook as Hottie, Yummy or something similar. You meet, you fuck, you go home. No strings, no conversation. No way will he become anything more because you find nothing interesting about him outside of the bedroom.

The Voyeur ‒ This is the guy you tell all your sexual stories to. He knows who you fucked, when you fucked them and how you fucked them. He gets off on hearing these stories. You wouldn’t fuck him but you sure love telling him about your escapades.

The Puppy ‒ This is a man that you find very sweet but no matter what, you can’t find this man sexually attractive. You go out with him and he does things for you but no sex. Ever. He knows this but he’s still there. Doing anything you ask. What’s a girl to do but let a man do stuff for us knowing he won’t expect anything in return?


tee hee


happyladychat 47F
3740 posts
6/26/2006 11:04 pm

Interesting definitions you have there, never thought of men like some of them.... voyeur? puppy? Enlightening! Thanks for sharing

Make it your challenge.... turn me ON!!


goodatpoetry2 67M
13113 posts
6/26/2006 11:17 pm

I'll take fuck-buddy, please!
(This was a job application, wasn't it?]


ShaneLiveLife 50M

6/26/2006 11:32 pm

Do I detect a little power thing with men going on in your head ? ....

Live with passion !


NickRules999 39M
9464 posts
6/27/2006 4:20 pm

The puppy describes me.

I don't wanna be a puppy anymore. It gets me nowhere.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?


cuteNEway 41F

6/27/2006 6:47 pm

MzHuny...All about experience!
HappyLady...I try
Spunky...how fitting that you're a puppy! My dads mini pinscer's name is Spunky >>ducks<<
Wordy...Cellmate's Bitch? Ummm I know a good therapist that can help you accept yourself. Or should I call you Booty?
Goodat...no my dear poet it is not an application. You kinda just fall into these roles after careful female manipulation.
Shane...Damn fuckin SKIPPY! And it's about time I took control instead of letting men control my fate!
Nicky...come to NY and you can be the Friend with Benefits

tee hee


concupiscentKid 40M

6/28/2006 3:32 pm

I've been 4 of the above.
Sounds pretty accurate to me.


TnWitchyWoman 56F
6852 posts
6/29/2006 11:30 am

I'm a greedy bitch, I want them ALL! Great post! LMAO!


pendus78 38M

6/29/2006 11:07 pm

Cutey, is moonlighting allowed, 'cause I'd love to be all seven ranks for you at once!


imLadyBambi 58M/50F

6/30/2006 3:31 am

LMAO - so very true

Lady Bambi


real36CgirlPA 38F

6/30/2006 7:50 pm

Looks pretty true to me.


cuteNEway 41F

6/30/2006 8:42 pm

Dys...ya think I'm funny?? YAY I tried with this one...and yeah I'll take a few of some of them but...read what pendus said (teehee)
concupiscent...which three?? ya can't tell me you've been my ranks and not tell me which!!!!!
Witchy...that's not greedy honey! You can have them all rolled into one...ask pendus
Pendus...All of them? I'm not sure that this would be entirely possible but I wouldn't object to you trying all of them and then you tell me which you would rather be...I wouldn't mind you being at least 3 of them
Bambi...so you've been there too
real...welcome to my world girlie!!


rm_tlaw781 38M

6/30/2006 9:08 pm

Hey girl had to read you chronicles you left on my blog. That guy was a piece. Sorry you had to live that one! Next time I'm back in NYC I'll have to drop you a line so I can hear some stories. I live in colorado but all the families in park slope and a few in the city. I'm a long island boy myself. Drop by the blog anytime!


cuteNEway 41F

7/1/2006 10:00 am

tlaw...it makes for great writing and please do drop me a line hun!
Dusty...isn't that the same as the puppy?

tee hee


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