And So It Began.....  

curnchey 48M/44F
7 posts
2/9/2006 1:15 am

Last Read:
3/7/2007 4:33 pm

And So It Began.....

It is 1:30 am and I should be sleeping however I sit here and think back over our history of swinging. How it has effected my husband and I's relationship and how I look at myself.

We have been together for 13 yrs now and married for 6. We had our first swap about 3 mo into our relationship. It was so horrible I would rather not go into it. I was young and I had no business considering it at that point and time in my life. I did it for the same reason some woman end up in that situation. It was what my husband wanted and I wanted to please him. BIG MISTAKE!!! I spent several months hurt and angry at my husband after this experience. Every time it was brought up after that I gave a resounding no way in hell response.

Jump ahead about 9 yrs. I had just had my 3rd daughter and I was at my largest I have ever been. I am very short as it is(4' 8" ) and every lbs shows on me. Anyhow I am digressing here.
My husbands best friend K (all names will be shortened or changed to protect the guilty!) had recently divorced from his second wife and I knew he was lonely. We had started chatting on line and one thing led to another. My husband suggested a mfm and K and I spent several days discussing what would happen. I agreed for several reasons. One was that I was curious, another was that K had known me all this time and he had hit on me at my smallest( 88lbs) and he was still attracted to me at my largest (150 lbs). We were together two times prior to our moving to Oklahoma City. My husband wound up pairing him up with one of my girlfriends and I actually felt a pang of jealousy over it. However she told me she would share him with me which I had no problems with.

We took another step back after that for a couple of yrs and my husband began to slowly approach the topic of swinging to me once again. Mainly it became a part of our fantasy life during sex. At first it was harmless fun and as time went on I became more intrigued by the idea up until he sat down with me and openly discussed his desires with me, including myself being somewhat bi curious. He began to look at profiles on here and other websites. I am extremely picky unlike he is( thats just being a woman I suppose) and I would reject 99% of the profiles he brought to me until I found one who interested me. It was a learning experience to say the least as this person hurt me by standing me up on two different occasions. I learned the hard way not to let it effect me emotionally.

He also set us up on several other websites with pictures of me and we began receiving emails and such. It did major things for my self esteem since I rarely felt like I was pretty even though my husband does compliment me often it is different when it is a different person. Its almost like you begin to just assume your spouse says these things since he is married to you.

We met another guy and chatted with him several times. We always try and meet in person prior to getting together with someone. We want to know we have things in common and that there was chemistry in and out of the bedroom since what we are really looking for is friends with benefits. We hit it off right away and we planned to meet for coffee though I knew for sure it would lead to more and that night it did.
It was a wonderful night and its one that I hope will happen for a long time more. There is quite an age difference between this person and us. Almost 12 yrs between he and I. I am the older one.

We have met several other couples and single men and have had a lot of fun with them. I was very apprehensive at the thought of seeing my husband with another woman. Yes I admit it was selfish of me but I was worried I would become jealous. I found when you are in that situation you are so busy focusing on yourself(well at least I am) that I wasn't bothered in the least.

We have had one encounter with another woman also. That was a bit awkward though and I was able to see things from my husbands perspective of things during a mfm. I did feel a bit left out but it is a learning experience and it was also my first time being with another woman(though I hope not the last)

I realize this has been a long post and I am hoping it will be the beginning of many more. So I want thank you for taking the time to read this.

TravelingMan524 64M
174 posts
2/28/2006 2:34 am

Thank you for your post. I really find it helpful to read of others experiences. I am very new to this but my experiences have ranged from disasterious to fantastic. I am learning that for me the key is caution and openmindedness. I am willing to try most things and it sounds like you are too. You hit on another important point (respect). I think without a true carring for others things don't stand a chance.
I must admit that your height makes more interested as I am somewhat virticaly chalenged 5'7". So far my experience with mfm is limited but I must admit that I find it delightful. To me a woman who knows how to get what she wants is super sexy and i don't share the phobia that many men have regarding mfm. Please keep up the great posts and who knows our paths may cross in person some day. I sure hope so. Pat

ncmrniceguy3 52M
2 posts
3/27/2006 1:24 pm

Enjoied your post.

likng4fun 47M

4/7/2006 12:16 pm

if you want to do the MFM thing again, let me know, I'm local, and interested. very discreet. oh and I, like you am not perfect, just like to think so right? Have fun and keep writing. AdultFriendFinder

ProspectorsPlace 67M/64F

8/15/2006 9:37 am

Good post.. proves you are not afraid to be human and that is a major thing for us..

Often in life we don't or do things that we regret doing or not doing.

But taking the chance to walk on the "wildside" often palys with our memories , some good and some bad.

In you case, youv'e been there and for you reasons kept coming back.. Self exploration can be frigthening and exciting at the same time.

Lew and Arlene,
Prospectors /l\


Veritas vos Liberabit–Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!

Prospector /l\

CheyenneTwosome 46M/39F  
1 post
1/15/2007 4:44 pm

Your experience mirrors most everyone's. Rush in, find it isn't how it was expected to be, withdraw, try again with the right attitude. We've been right there, as well. It does take time, and honest frank discussion to make it work. And, really, you *have* to be picky, so don't feel too bad about rejecting 99% of the profiles to see. We look at a lot, and only wink at or E-mail those that interest us the most. But you're on the right track now, but just remember, if it ever stops being enjoyable, it's time to re-evalutate.

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