relationships  

curiousinlorain7 59F
15358 posts
8/21/2006 4:49 am

Last Read:
8/23/2006 6:57 am

relationships


I was talking to my friend.. and she asked me a question that really got me thinking.. how do you know when you are in a relationship>?

At first I thought she was nuts.. but the more we talked about it..the more sense she made. When you are in high school/college and you date someone..well that whole 'relationship' thing is kinda a given..but how about now? when you are past mid thirties,say, and either still single or re-single. You are dealing with people with all sorts of life experiences that they are bringing to the dating table..as well as all of your own. At what point does 'it' become a relationship? What is your criteria? Sex? lots of people have sex and do not consider themselves in a relationship...conversely speaking.. many people are not yet having sex and do consider themselves to be in a relationship.. Do you ask the person..hey..bud..are we in a relationship..only to see how fast he can run away LOL... so.. here is/are my questions..
Do you talk about the fact what you have is/isn't a relationship?

Have you ever either been in a relationship only to realize the person you are with..was not or been surprised when the person you are dating thinks you are...and you don't?

Are you reading this and thinking...huh?

One of the nice things about this site... i've been asked by people what i'm looking for... when I answer Long term... that turns off some men.. and that's fine by me... at least i know what they want and what they are looking for... I don't think you get that question asked by someone in real life just walking up to you and asking you out... have a great day ..

bigandtallreturn 37M

8/21/2006 5:25 am

Well, usually my relationships are so short, they're over before I think, "Wait, was that a relationship?" I usually wait before I'm called "her boyfriend" before I feel comfortable that it's a relationship. Come to think of it, I'm STILL waiting to hear that...

"Today may be the first day of the rest of your life, unless you live on the other side of the International Date Line, then yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life."- Larry Andersen


GhostWriter947 58F

8/21/2006 5:43 am

I am in a relationship(?) with a man who I seldom see. I talk to him, but dont get a chance to be "close" to him. I personally view us as "friends". I think he views us as a relationship. We are really best friends with benefits some times, lol. I have seen the jealous side of him. He is one who keeps track of me all the time, like he owns me, lol. I dont do anything anyway but go to work and back. So it doesnt really bother me much. I figure one day he will find someone that can be there for him (he is single). Very sweet man, and a very good friend. He has alot of issues and I have listened to him alot, that is what brought us together.
I know what you mean about "long term".
Its hard to say, men and women interpret things soooo differently.
You can always ask him, if he runs, then think of the time it has saved you in the long run, lol.

Boo


ZZ_Todd 59M

8/21/2006 8:49 am

I think that in spite of what most say their looking for, everyone is looking for something lasting. The difference with me, and maybe it's really not such a unique concept, is that I'm not actively "looking"... instead, I'm not hiding from what may be looking for me.

And... I really like your new profile pic! Beautiful!


LookandWink 63M

8/21/2006 10:32 am

You are right ... very tricky subject to pin down because it's so abstract. To me a relationship could mean anything from good friends to lifetime soul-mate. Sex doesn't define it for sure. It seems to be a mental connection that defines it. When you can't stop thinking of the each other, then I would say you have a real relationship. Good Blog!!

Good luck! ...


rm_Smile_My_Way 59M
1519 posts
8/21/2006 1:31 pm

I think if you have to ask the person "Are we in a relationship" then I would say your not in one...yet, with that person.


goodatpoetry2 66M
12374 posts
8/21/2006 1:32 pm

At this point in my life, it's a relationship if I see her twice! LOL!


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/21/2006 4:18 pm

    Quoting bigandtallreturn:
    Well, usually my relationships are so short, they're over before I think, "Wait, was that a relationship?" I usually wait before I'm called "her boyfriend" before I feel comfortable that it's a relationship. Come to think of it, I'm STILL waiting to hear that...
awww... I know it is going to happen for you


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/21/2006 4:20 pm

    Quoting GhostWriter947:
    I am in a relationship(?) with a man who I seldom see. I talk to him, but dont get a chance to be "close" to him. I personally view us as "friends". I think he views us as a relationship. We are really best friends with benefits some times, lol. I have seen the jealous side of him. He is one who keeps track of me all the time, like he owns me, lol. I dont do anything anyway but go to work and back. So it doesnt really bother me much. I figure one day he will find someone that can be there for him (he is single). Very sweet man, and a very good friend. He has alot of issues and I have listened to him alot, that is what brought us together.
    I know what you mean about "long term".
    Its hard to say, men and women interpret things soooo differently.
    You can always ask him, if he runs, then think of the time it has saved you in the long run, lol.

    Boo
Welcome 'Boo' you bring up some good points.. just be careful he does not get too possessive that's not good either


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/21/2006 4:21 pm

    Quoting ZZ_Todd:
    I think that in spite of what most say their looking for, everyone is looking for something lasting. The difference with me, and maybe it's really not such a unique concept, is that I'm not actively "looking"... instead, I'm not hiding from what may be looking for me.

    And... I really like your new profile pic! Beautiful!
Todd..almost everyone says that when they met their 'soulmate' that they were not looking.. I agree..sometimes we just need to enjoy the day and let life happen to us.. and thanks about the pic


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/21/2006 4:23 pm

    Quoting rm_Smile_My_Way:
    I think if you have to ask the person "Are we in a relationship" then I would say your not in one...yet, with that person.
LOL smile...that's almost the same thing I told my friend to tell her friend that was wondering


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/21/2006 4:24 pm

    Quoting goodatpoetry2:
    At this point in my life, it's a relationship if I see her twice! LOL!
geez goodat..we must be going steady then..cause you've been to my blog way more than twice


florallei 99F

8/21/2006 5:27 pm

A relationship is when two or more are involved with one another, spiritually emotionally or physically.
It could be good, bad, ugly, dependent, healthy and unhealthy.

Is that the pic. that someone thought was me, Sis?
hugs,
flo


rm_ironhead1956 60M
275 posts
8/21/2006 5:45 pm

I'm reading it and thinking "HUH", good question.


cougarprey4play 40M

8/21/2006 6:45 pm

I've heard of people thinking they were in a relationship only to find out the other person didn't think so. If two people spend more time together than normal, eating out/in, watching movies together, seeking each other out for different activities, asking for opinions, etc.

Me, I'm prefer LTR but this profile is open ended - mainly for meeting people & making friends!


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/21/2006 7:44 pm

    Quoting florallei:
    A relationship is when two or more are involved with one another, spiritually emotionally or physically.
    It could be good, bad, ugly, dependent, healthy and unhealthy.

    Is that the pic. that someone thought was me, Sis?
    hugs,
    flo
yes it is sis


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/21/2006 7:45 pm

thanks


FrankPicasso 52M

8/21/2006 9:10 pm

I can see how that could happen, especially when two people are really good friends. Often certain gestures of friendship could potentially be misconstrued as meaning more than they do. Very thought provoking question. Congrats on 1000 comments, by the way. Very cool blog!


cyberluvr1957 59M

8/21/2006 10:24 pm

I THINK YOUR IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PERSON WHEN YOU SHARE GOOD AND BAD TIMES TOGETHER

~~~Have Condoms, Will Travel~~~


.......Stay Happy, Stay Safe, Stay Well........


rm_jurgon3 55M
4603 posts
8/22/2006 3:07 am

Keep on smiling lorain, i like the new pic, very sultry lol have a good week hun!

Be lucky!


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/22/2006 3:13 am

    Quoting FrankPicasso:
    I can see how that could happen, especially when two people are really good friends. Often certain gestures of friendship could potentially be misconstrued as meaning more than they do. Very thought provoking question. Congrats on 1000 comments, by the way. Very cool blog!
high praise indeed, coming from one of the best story tellers i've seen here


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/22/2006 3:14 am

    Quoting rm_jurgon3:
    Keep on smiling lorain, i like the new pic, very sultry lol have a good week hun!
thanks jurgon..think i'm ready to join your gold league?


terry4u9 54M

8/22/2006 4:46 am

Well the term relationship can mean many things too but for the pupose of my reply lets talk about long term/going steady. I would say you know after you both talk about it and agree to it. If either party is not willing to talk about it or runs away after hearing it you never had it in my view. If a woman I like talked to me about it and I wanted it too I would be flattered and very interested.


rm_jurgon3 55M
4603 posts
8/22/2006 11:25 am

    Quoting curiousinlorain7:
    thanks jurgon..think i'm ready to join your gold league?
gold league? sounds interesting lorain! tell me more lol

Be lucky!


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/22/2006 5:08 pm

    Quoting terry4u9:
    Well the term relationship can mean many things too but for the pupose of my reply lets talk about long term/going steady. I would say you know after you both talk about it and agree to it. If either party is not willing to talk about it or runs away after hearing it you never had it in my view. If a woman I like talked to me about it and I wanted it too I would be flattered and very interested.
Thanks Terry... I just think anyone brave enough to bring up the subject of 'relationship' is pretty brave..lol.. even if i was not thinking of the person 'that way' I'd still have to admire his bravery..and be flattered


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/22/2006 5:09 pm

    Quoting rm_jurgon3:
    gold league? sounds interesting lorain! tell me more lol
Gold???? Darn those typos... lol it was suppose to be GOLF


lovemetouchme5 51F
2102 posts
8/22/2006 7:26 pm

I remember when my soon2bx and I first started going out. We were parked outside my house, and he said, "So, are we like girlfriend and boyfriend?" I thought it was really cute that we were discussing that at ages 33 and 27! lol

Nowadays, I don't know what would determine if your in a relationship unless you talk to your partner about it. Afterall, communication is the key to any relationship!

Loveme

BTW, we have finalized the OHIO plans. I plan on emailing you shortly to let you know where and when..


rm_DocCG33 51M

8/22/2006 7:35 pm

Thats a tough one. I guess it depends on the people involved.


curiousinlorain7 59F

8/22/2006 9:43 pm

okay loveme..i'll be waiting

yes doc...it does


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