reasons  

curiousinlorain7 59F
15358 posts
7/30/2006 10:16 am

Last Read:
7/2/2007 5:16 pm

reasons


I was talking to one of my long distance friends from this site today, and something we talked about got me thinking. I know, i try not to think too much in the summer but inadvertently it happens. I know there are lots of people on this site that are here to just get 'laid' and that is great... lots of them are very tolerant of people like myself that want something else.. but I do know i bug the heck out of some that think this is a sex site and if I don't want wham bam ( not even a thank you ma'am) i need to go cry to my momma. That's cool, because I know what you think of me, doesn't mean you need to know what i think of you okay just kidding.. But it did get me to think about what brought me here.. to this site, and maybe even a few of the reasons that I stay.
All my life i've been a 'good girl' I've basic ly done the right thing and the right way. Life, as I have found out, does not always respect that. Life slapped me down. And maybe one day I'll share all of that junk with you, but not today. Just suffice to say things were not good. I got a divorce over 3 years ago. My first two years I healed, or at least took major steps to healing. Then I thought, I'll try and date... I'm single and that's what I'll do. well no one here in good ol real life was asking.. so I joined a few different online dating services. I also have to say when I did web searches for sites AdultFriendFinder frequently popped up, but i did not join because i was a 'good girl'
One one of the other sites I met this man. He was a few years older than myself and was a successful business man. I thought he was gorgeous and apparently he felt the same about me. We started to date and he made me realize that in his future relationship he wanted sex.. he meant after a while and after certain promises had been made.. but sex was going to be a big part of his life with his new spouse. This was new to me, this upfront honest approach to it. ANd it made me realize that there was a lot more to life and I had had a really bad sex life and wanted to change that. We were making plans for a future together when he was stricken with a fast moving cancer. He went from being fine to only having 6 months or less. We were both devastated and he went off to hide away in his retirement home. He had lost his first wife to cancer and vowed not to put someone else through that. It was a hard time for me, until he showed signs of acceptance and letting people in his life again, not me.. he does not want me to be there while he suffers, but he has allowed others back in his life.
As the realization of all this was sifting through my brain.. I thought ( for some strange odd reason, don't ask me why) I need a wild time in my life... to sow my wild oats, so to speak. and once again saw this site and clicked on it and joined. It took me no time at all to realize that I'm no wild child. I was truly born to be mild! And you know what?? I like it that way. I'm still on this site because the other sites are milk toast compared to this one... it seems as though good girls aren't suppose to want or talk about sex... But I do want that for me. I'd love to have a full experience of that in my future relationships. So here I stay... not for one nighters, not for casual ( what was your last name anyway?) sex but for the comradery and friendships I've met here. I'd like to have a good close friend that becomes more, I'm not sure i'll have that, but that's what I'd like.
THe people i've met on this site and via the blogging are amazing!! I've had such a great time here with you all... I can't leave now!! Shoot the party has just started!!! So a big and thanks to you all. I"m here to stay, for a while anyway

goodatpoetry2 67M
13093 posts
7/30/2006 11:59 am

Oh, no!
Not a "good-girl"!
What IS this site coming to? LOL!


fortunaswm 62M/52F

7/30/2006 1:02 pm

That's the BEST news I've had all day!!!

There would be a huge hole left if you were to leave us my dear J -


rm_Smile_My_Way 59M
1519 posts
7/30/2006 2:27 pm

I have been on this site for many years(late 90's)now and can say it has changed a lot since it's first days. The biggest and best thing they could have done is the blogs. It allows people to get to know a little about a person before putting them on there IM list. I think doing things this way changes the approach to the other person and you get to know them as a person and not just a sex object. I know I must have skip a few things in there, but you know what I mean. I think that's why you might stay on this site and check things out a little longer. This site isn't just for bad girls anymore, but leans more toward good girls as yourself. I don't think it's a dating site yet as E-Harmony might be, but it is closer to that then it was before. I think blogging is something all these sites should have if they don't already. It's kinda like your friend introducing you to someone or you work with this person, you kinda know them before you start to chat. Hope I made some sense here.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
7/30/2006 5:11 pm

You've discovered the magic here...very cool!!


bigandtallreturn 37M

7/30/2006 6:59 pm

I admit, I'm here to find some FWBs and to get laid (hey, I went 18 months without sex before joining this site... can I be blamed?), but I have found some really good friends on this site, and I'm certain you're one of them, Curious. Born to be mild... somehow, I don't think that would have been a hit song, but not everyone can be wild. It's not like I'm this wild maniac, either. A sexual maniac, yes, but not a wild one.

Besides, I personally think the "mild" girls are more fun.. behind closed doors, they tend to "experiment" and they're more fun to play with!

"Today may be the first day of the rest of your life, unless you live on the other side of the International Date Line, then yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life."- Larry Andersen


curiousinlorain7 59F

7/30/2006 7:37 pm

    Quoting rm_silkditty:
    Thx for stopping by my blog!

    I've done the NSA sex on A.F.F. and I'm totally burned out on it. I just like hanging out on the blogs and interacting with other bloggers.
    Not everyone here is actively looking for sex.

    You're right about other dating websites being milktoast compared to this one - and the bloggers are the cream of A.F.F., people who can think and write and chew gum all at the same time!
That is soooo true!!! i'm thinking they even know how to read without moving their lips too I love the heart and intelligence and humor I find in these blogs


florallei 99F

7/30/2006 9:22 pm

Hi Curious,
I can relate to the things you are saying...I do want to say how bad I feel that the special person in your life became ill and pushed you away. To him the reasons made sense.
My BF when diagnosed early on in our relationship with cancer told me he didn't want me to stick around if he was dying. His wife also is dying of cancer. He thankfully is in remission. His reason he said was, "I don't want you to see me half or less than a man". It is his dignity that he would loose. I would comply but never understand although I tried. Thank goodness we didn't have to face things.
Bloggig is such a wonderful way of showing your true self if you desire. You control how much to expose and when to.
flo


fortunaswm 62M/52F

7/30/2006 10:15 pm

    Quoting rm_silkditty:
    Thx for stopping by my blog!

    I've done the NSA sex on A.F.F. and I'm totally burned out on it. I just like hanging out on the blogs and interacting with other bloggers.
    Not everyone here is actively looking for sex.

    You're right about other dating websites being milktoast compared to this one - and the bloggers are the cream of A.F.F., people who can think and write and chew gum all at the same time!
Wellllll - I must thank silk for the kind compliment on behalf of us all - however - i'm not sure i can do all of that at the same time - BUT - there are other things i can do all at the same time -

Keep the smile J - we ALL love ya girl


chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
7/31/2006 12:25 am

Those were some rough experiences you've had. It's good to know that this place brings a smile.


curiousinlorain7 59F

7/31/2006 3:28 am

Awww chasing... how could I NOT love you guys here?


skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
7/31/2006 12:34 pm

_____I've been in relationships where the sex has dried up before. One I remember was because she used it as a "tool". If she felt I wasn't communicating with her, she would withhold sex from me. I grew to hate her. Another one I recall started out really great but some really bad experiences that she had in the past and hadn't dealt with crept back into her soul. Then of course there was her MD (Not a psychiatrist) who prescribed her a myriad of anti-depressants. I ended up hating her too. /// I vowed that I would never again get involved in a relationship with a woman who did not "need" sex as much as I do. What better place to find a woman like that than here? /// I believe you have a wondrous journey of discovery ahead of you here. Just learn to spot the jerks early and avoid them. I wish great things for you.


dimplesfouryou 46F
24690 posts
7/31/2006 3:38 pm

Bravo Curious! Well said and an anthem for all us good girls out there!

Dimps


curiousinlorain7 59F

7/31/2006 4:14 pm

    Quoting dimplesfouryou:
    Bravo Curious! Well said and an anthem for all us good girls out there!
thank you dimple it's nice to have a good sister on this site


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