Why?  

curious082385 31F
4230 posts
1/25/2006 1:26 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why?

My sister came home today, walked in very quietly and went straight into her room. Anyone who knows my sis knows that the word "quiet" is very rarely associated with her. A few minutes later, I heard muffled sobs coming from her room. I went in and ended up spending close to an hour comforting her while she cried.

And do you know why she was crying?
Her friends at school have been calling her a slut and a whore, telling her that they don't want to hang out with someone who is so beneath them. I told her to simply ignore them...high school drama tends to blow over pretty quickly. But today, one of her teacher approached her and proceeded to lecture her on abstinence and values.

All because someone was bored and started a nasty rumor to amuse themselves. There was no truth to it what-so-ever.

My cousin works in the neo-natal ICU...basically Intensive Care for babies. Back in November, a 4 month old girl was brought in by her parents. She was in a coma and they didn't know why. Saying that they had to work, the parents filled out the forms, promised to be back as soon as possible and left.

They never came back. The contact info they had given the hospital was false. Brain scans determined that the little girl had been violently shaken. She died that night in my cousin's arms.

I logged in tonight to find a post from a friend of mine, MrNuttz05 about racism and prejudice.

I can't help but sit here and wonder why. Why is it that we hurt each other? Cruel words, abuse, prejudice....just a few of the ways that humans have come up with to hurt one another. I look around and see so many good people in this world. So many who truly care, who would reach out to help a stranger without a second thought, who see race and skin color as just another piece of beautiful diversity. I have seen what people can do when they come together intent on a common goal. The power that we have to change situations.

What difference does it make if you have darker or lighter skin then me?
Or that I go to a different church or pray in a different language?
Or if I believe in another form of government?
Or think differently then you do?

My beliefs don't threaten yours, or make yours any less true and powerful for you....so why take such offense? With so much beauty around us, with so much potential inside us, with so much to experience and learn...why do we choose to harm?

As common a line as it may be, I can't help but wonder......can't we all just get along?
Is that so hard?


Efilnikufecin69 47M

1/25/2006 1:48 am

... very good question MzZ. I wish I knew the answers.


SensualDreaming7 34F

1/25/2006 4:51 am

Who knows why people feel the need to hurt others?
To make themselves feel better maybe? Some do it because they aren't strong enough in their own beliefs to accept the diversity and they DO feel threatened by different schools of thought?
And then there are those who are just mean.


dasher121 36M

1/25/2006 6:34 am

in my short travels i have experienced many types of people. the lost, the hurt, the balanced, and the unbalanced. some individuals just dont get it. they become lost along the way, some use excuses that since they were hurt they "dont know any better".

I say that is bullshit because i have met so many wonderful and truely good souls who have been dragged through the mud countless times. yet they get back up and move on. they love and laugh and continue to have good faith in humanity and life. these are the people who i admire. they are the wonderful and amazing. We could all learn alot from them. And in time, in time, things will change. It all starts with a word, with a knowlegde of self and what is right. And it starts one person at a time.

To walk a higher path is to walk a road that is difficult, not narrowly paved, and clouded at times. But with patience and a good heart, this path is open to all who are willing to travel it.

Walk on my dear curious, you're heart is in a great place and the light is infectious.


rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
1/25/2006 9:19 am

There is darkness as well as light in all of us...recognizing it in ourselves and trying to living consciously and thoughtfully is our best way to transcend the darkness...and one can only hope that the light that you radiate yourself will help to draw others to that path...

There is no quick fix to any of what is wrong with humanity...there is no quick fix to ignorance and misunderstanding...

I feel for your sister...these sorts of things anger me...don't know how long she has left in high school but at times a change in location would help to avoid a lot of unneccessary mental trauma...some things are harder to rise above than other things and it takes a strength and determination to become something other than what people around you insist on seeing that is hard to have when you are young and immersed in a group think peer group...and god knows that groups love to run their mouths and create bullshit and drama...

Some things blow over if you lay low and pretend they never happened, live your life as though it didn't and refuse to acknowledge the bullshit with a response...other things beg to be met head on...hard to know which is which...I learned late in life to stand up for myself and fight. My first response to my own sister or child experiencing something like this would be to meet the teacher head on and give her my own lecture on listening and giving credence to rumours and gossip...I suppose she thought she was trying to help by addressing what she thought was the source of the rumour...


elysianpleasure 47M

1/25/2006 12:18 pm

Their are no quick fixes for humanity. The only hope is to start with ourselves. We are all guilty. I have my shame. There have been times when I have been intollerant or laughed at the weakness or helplessness of others. I am ashamed of it. We need to recognize this in ourselves and first stop being the nieve offenders. The next step is to find the courage to stand up to those who are hurtful. To break the mob mentality. Your note is a good start... a drop in the ocean. An important step... to remind us all think about our actions. We each need to help propoagate the wave.

I have hope. I have seen people in times of crisis work together to do amazing things. After the September 11th I lived outside NYC and for months people seemed united in a special bond and a common cause. Our self intrest became a common intrest. There were the few who didn't get it... but most of us for a time were kinder to one another.


634694u2 46M

1/25/2006 4:28 pm

Cap-n-crunch crunch for your sister. The struggle for power that is sought at all levels of our society is redundant and forgetable. Many people seek to harm others to place themselves higher on a ladder of prominance that only exsists in their childish minds. After one hundred years the folly of the fool is forgotten by all.


634694u2 46M

1/25/2006 4:29 pm

Cap-n-crunch for your sister. The struggle for power that is sought at all levels of our society is redundant and forgetable. Many people seek to harm others to place themselves higher on a ladder of prominance that only exsists in their childish minds. After one hundred years the folly of the fool is forgotten by all.


634694u2 46M

1/25/2006 4:30 pm

oops! Its been a while!


MrNuttz05 49M

1/25/2006 5:22 pm

'Gatekeeper', hold on to lil' sis, cruelty has no age barrier. Elysianpleasure, you hit the nail on the head, bro'. My GrandMa said if you did something wrong you HAVE to do something to make it right. The realization is not enough, if you light the spark it could catch a flame. The next time somone has a racial joke, just walk away. Sounds small, but it has done wonders for me...


MyRealLoverOne 46M

1/25/2006 9:23 pm

Seems to be worse here in blogland. Very good points.


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
1/26/2006 2:54 am

Efil - So do I. My sister asked me why people are so malicious (her question sparked this post. I didn't have an answer for her...broke my heart to only be able to say "I don't know, sweetheart, I don't know."

Sensual - Good ideas. I never understood how hurting another person could bring someone joy. How unhappy do you have to be before that will cheer you up.


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
1/26/2006 2:59 am

    Quoting dasher121:
    in my short travels i have experienced many types of people. the lost, the hurt, the balanced, and the unbalanced. some individuals just dont get it. they become lost along the way, some use excuses that since they were hurt they "dont know any better".

    I say that is bullshit because i have met so many wonderful and truely good souls who have been dragged through the mud countless times. yet they get back up and move on. they love and laugh and continue to have good faith in humanity and life. these are the people who i admire. they are the wonderful and amazing. We could all learn alot from them. And in time, in time, things will change. It all starts with a word, with a knowlegde of self and what is right. And it starts one person at a time.

    To walk a higher path is to walk a road that is difficult, not narrowly paved, and clouded at times. But with patience and a good heart, this path is open to all who are willing to travel it.

    Walk on my dear curious, you're heart is in a great place and the light is infectious.
Dasher - It all depends on what happens after you're dragged through the mud. If there is no one there to encourage you, love you, support you then you have no one to show you how things can be different. It is hard to ask a person to have faith in humanity if humanity has never had faith in them.


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
1/26/2006 3:18 am

Corezon - She is in her senior year, so she only has a few monthes left to go. You speak of good people who radiate light...she is one of the brightest, most beautiful spirits I know. It would be my worst fear come true if that light were to go out...I see it flickering already. It has been a hard year for her.
As to the teacher, complaints from our family have been filed already and hopefully something will come of it.

Nooner - You're the first one to figure out that quote.
Humanity is such a double edged blade, isn't it? To embrace the truth and light of those around us, you also have to take in the bad as well. But such is life, right?

Elysian - I have certainly done many things that I'm not proud of and they still get to me sometimes. But I have wonderful people around me to remind me that pain and regret aren't all there is to life...who give me the occasional wake-up call to the good things surrounding me.


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
1/26/2006 3:30 am

63 - I'll pass it along to her...thank you.
You are right to say that it is redundant and forgetable, but sadly, she is still at the age of believing that what these people say now will matter forever. Are their actions childish? Yes. But worse then being childish is the fact that, in many situations, such actions are effective. So many will back away in fear from those who do harm...few will stand up to say that it is wrong.

I recommend more posting...it will help get you used to it again faster.

MrNuttz - Holding on to her tight. Thank you. Turning and walking away? Dosen't sound small to me. To those who cause harm to make themselves feel special or important...to turn and walk away, to ignore them...that can be the most effective. It takes away their power.

RealLover - "Seems to be worse here in blogland." Yes and no. There are many here who stir up drama and say/do things just to hurt. But there are also many who are here in good faith and are truly kind and wonderful people.


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
1/26/2006 10:41 am

Babe, I think the key lies in what you said here: "My beliefs don't threaten yours, or make yours any less true and powerful for you" . Unfortunately many (most?) people ARE threatened by others' beliefs. Weird, huh?

I like finding practical solutions to problems and one little tiny piece of a solution is education, yeah? I used to get stuff in the mail from something called Southern Poeverty Law Center, or something like that. Anyway, they have a program called Teaching Tolerance which (I think, if I remember) is all about going into schools, groups, orgs, etc in areas where bias and prejudice is deeply, deeply ingrained and have educational group interractions with young people from different walks of life. The goal is to gently let adolescents learn, by experiencing first hand, that humans basically have a lot more in common than stereotypes allow them to realize.

Anyway, just another of my long-winded comments, lol.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
1/27/2006 4:55 am

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Babe, I think the key lies in what you said here: "My beliefs don't threaten yours, or make yours any less true and powerful for you" . Unfortunately many (most?) people ARE threatened by others' beliefs. Weird, huh?

    I like finding practical solutions to problems and one little tiny piece of a solution is education, yeah? I used to get stuff in the mail from something called Southern Poeverty Law Center, or something like that. Anyway, they have a program called Teaching Tolerance which (I think, if I remember) is all about going into schools, groups, orgs, etc in areas where bias and prejudice is deeply, deeply ingrained and have educational group interractions with young people from different walks of life. The goal is to gently let adolescents learn, by experiencing first hand, that humans basically have a lot more in common than stereotypes allow them to realize.

    Anyway, just another of my long-winded comments, lol.
Wahine - I never understood why someone would feel threatened because I believe something different. That never made much sense to me. Your beliefs should be your own and dosen't having faith in something mean standing strong by it even when all the world is against you? Or am I wrong on that?
As to that program, that is an awesome idea! We try to do somewhat the same thing at the school I work at, although it isn't intentional. Because of the way the school is set up, we draw students from a wide base of religions and beliefs, so the kids are exposed to a lot and we make sure that all negative comments are discouraged. But I digress...

As to your "long-winded comments"? I love them!


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
1/27/2006 5:05 am

Cant we all just get along? No we cant, its human nature to fight and kill and hate. Just look at the history of the world. Never have and we never will. But remember, its only part........


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
1/30/2006 5:26 am

Saint - *sigh* I wish that you were wrong on that, but you aren't. However, you're also right about it being only part and that makes me smile. Have to take the bad with the good, I guess, right?


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