Twelve Days of Christmas  

curious082385 31F
4230 posts
12/5/2005 3:35 am

Last Read:
4/2/2006 4:49 am

Twelve Days of Christmas

December 14th

Dearest John:

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised

With dearest love and Affection, Agnes


December 15th

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves....I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love, Agnes


December 16th

Dear John:

Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don’t deserve such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must’re just too kind.

Love Agnes


December 17th

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don’t you think enough is enough? You’re being too romantic.

Affectionately, Agnes


December 18th

Dearest John:

What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for each finger. You’re just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, John, all those squawking birds were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love, Agnes


December 19th

Dear John:

When I opened the door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you’re back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge.
Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can’t sleep through the racket. PLEASE STOP!

Cordially, Agnes


December 20th


What’s up with you and those fucking birds????
Seven swans a-swimming. What kind of goddam joke is this? There’s bird shit all over the house and they never stop the racket. I’m a nervous
wreck and I can’t sleep all night. IT’S NOT stop with those f**king birds.

Sincerely, Agnes


December 21st

OK Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with eight maids a-milking? It’s not enough with all those birds and eight maids
a-milking, but they had to bring their own goddam cows. Just lay off me.



December 22nd

Hey Shithead:

What are you? Some sort of sadist? Now there’s nine pipers playing. And Christ - do they play. They never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are upset and are stepping all over those screeching birds. No wonder they screech. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me. You’ll get yours.

From Ag


December 23rd

You Rotten Prick:

Now there’s ten ladies dancing - I don’t know why I call those sluts ladies. They’ve been balling those nine pipers all night long. Now those
cows can’t sleep and they’ve got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why
the building shouldn’t be condemned. I’m sticking the police on you.

One who means it, Ag


December 24th

Listen F**khead:

What’s with he eleven lords a-leaping on those maids and aforementioned "ladies"? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran
through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All 234 of the birds are dead. They have been trampled to death in the orgy. I
hope you’re satisfied, you rotten swine.

Your sworn enemy, Miss Agnes McCallister


December 25th (from the law offices Taeker, Spredar, and Baegar)

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling, which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McCallister. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to contact Miss McCallister at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With
this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Efilnikufecin69 47M

12/5/2005 5:57 am

Ohh, I slowly slide in to you, feeling your soft lips caress my aching member and then... oops, Sorry, wrong Blog! Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

silkysmoothlegs3 105F

12/5/2005 7:01 am

awwwwwwwwwwwww thats sweet

Silky would love the twelve fiddlers fiddling with her !!!!!


love silky xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
12/5/2005 7:14 am

cant breath

dasher121 36M

12/5/2005 7:57 am

hahaha thats awsome. great twist on that old one!

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
12/5/2005 11:04 am

You got into Efil's stash again, didn't you....

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/6/2005 1:09 am

Efil - you are terrible! Now, I'm curious...whose blog was that comment directed at? lol

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/6/2005 1:11 am

Silky - oh yeah...not a bad Christmas present, huh?

Night - glad you enjoyed, but please start breathing again, ok??

Dasher - I thought so

PK - yep!!!!!

ManinMcK 50M
23 posts
12/7/2005 11:54 am

I hope Agness took Pictures, that had to be quite a sight... All the fiddlers diddling, lords leaping the dancing girls, pipers laying pipe, and those poor birds and cows. I'm gonna call PETA on the man... GREATONE!!

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/9/2005 12:54 am

Manin - yep...poor widdle birdies!

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