Just to say...  

curious082385 31F
4230 posts
1/27/2006 5:17 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Just to say...

The post below this one, How much to share?, although easy to write, was very difficult to leave up. Seems silly, huh? Why would that one scare me?

In writing it, in asking for your help, in admitting that losing readers hurt me...I lowered a bit of wall and gave you the oppurtunity to cause me pain. You could have taken that knowledge and formed it into a rather effective weapon...in fact, most of the people who have been in my life in the past would have. I have learned that the best course of action is to hide all vulnerability. That way, if they hurt you, they won't know and you can fiegn normality. My mother and grandmother have called me the Ice Queen since I was about 4 because of that trait. Not something that I'm particularly proud of, but a skill that I have honed.

I was biting my nails all day...being unable to get to a computer and see what was going on with that post. Finally, I got to work, logged in and opened the comments.

Within minutes, I was in tears. Honest.

I was stunned by the words that you all wrote, by the kindness and support I felt, the love that never ceases to amaze me when it's apparent in force. Those of you who have reached out without really expecting to be caught know what I mean. I wanted you all to know that your comments mean that much to me, but each time I read them, I find myself blown away again and unable to find suitable words for responses. Please take this post as a temporary thank you and I love you to all who commented. Give me some time to think and I will be back with individual responses.

You never cease to amaze me.

dasher121 36M

1/27/2006 5:46 am

and you never cease to amaze me and from what I read, others who enjoy spending their time here with you. You are truely an amazing and wonderful woman Miss Curious. You touch peoples hearts more than you know, and maybe its due time that you do know.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
1/27/2006 6:12 am

You are the one thats amazing.

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
1/27/2006 6:37 am

I haven't read the previous post yet but will after,our fellow bloggers for the most are wonderful heart warming people that have often brought me to tears,hugs hun

I'm a

i'm here to stay

MyRealLoverOne 45M

1/27/2006 7:09 am

What a lovely post today. Thanks for being real and being you.

rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
1/27/2006 9:38 am

I don't think you even really have to reply to any of them. I doubt that's why any of us left you a comment...we really did want to give you some input 'cause alot of us have been there.

Thinking...you remind me of myself...

As I've gotten older, I've realised that even in real life...some of the people that are hurtful are really projecting or acting in self-defense or have just become used to dysfunctional ways of communicating...it's become easier for me to look right through them and see their real motives...which usually have nothing to do with me, really...and then if I choose to return the communication, I address the "real" them instead of giving them the anticipated reaction...I choose not to participate in their "control drama"...good for them...it makes them think...

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
1/27/2006 6:17 pm

No comments needed, precious... we love you, maybe not wisely, but very much.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

bardicman 50M

1/28/2006 2:51 am

Curious - I know that I am a better person because I know you. You are loved here very much. It a wonderful thing for me to get to spend sometime with you chatting. You are a wonderful friend. Any time you are feeling down and just need someone to talk to.. I am here. I know that you are also there for me if I need to talk.

Thank you for being you and thank you for being here.

I am not dead yet

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
1/29/2006 5:24 pm

babygirl, this post was all the response we need - eloquent and from the heart - what more could be ask for?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
1/30/2006 5:22 am

Once again, I find myself in awe of you.
Thank you.
I love you.

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