Forever Love?  

curious082385 31F
4230 posts
12/2/2005 3:21 am

Last Read:
4/2/2006 4:42 am

Forever Love?

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
~Aristotle


The concepts of soulmates arose from Greek mythology. According to the Greek myths, our ancestors once had 2 heads, 4 arms. They did something to offend a god so that god punished them by splitting them down the middle, resulting in the creation of humans. As a punishment, we are condemned to spend our lives searching for the other half, our soulmates.

Some people claim to have known each other in past lives. To have a deep sense of having met the person before. Couples like this are referred to as Twin Flames. Twin flame soulmates have spent multiple lifetimes together in past lives. There is incredible chemistry and attraction towards each other. They "complete" each other and only few lucky people are able to find their twin flame soulmate. Twin flame soulmates, if separated, usually suffer enormous pain.

Soulmates....such a beautiful thought...such a wonderful dream to believe that one day I could find someone who is destined for me, who has spent his whole life waiting, searching for me, as I have been for him.

Do you believe that there is one perfect person for each of us?
How do you know when you have found them?
Does the ground tilt beneath your feet when they kiss you? Or does it just feel "right" to be in their arms?

What happens if your soulmate is killed before you meet them? Are you then destined to be alone or incomplete for the rest of your life? Or is there then someone else for you?

Are we destined to find that person? Or is it just luck that our paths cross?



Efilnikufecin69 47M

12/2/2005 4:02 am

That is a very powerfull statement and you have also given some mighty hard questions. I do believe that there is a person for each of us. Whether or not you no, only time can decide but if your heart speaks to you before your mind, then you are probably on the right track. The ground may tilt, the Earth might shake but is it really? Or is it your knees becoming weak and the shaking is from your nerves, for you know you have found "the one". To hold this person in your arms and to have you feel 100% secure will also give you a good idea whether or not this person is the one you have been searching for.

Should your soulmate be killed before you meet them, then that soul will be transferred into another being. It will take on the traits of the one that perished, because fate won't allow you to be alone, unless it is your wish.

Destined? Yes, but destiny also needs a little bit of luck to help her. In the end, it doesn't matter. One day, we will all find our soulmate, in this life or another. I am sure of this, and I am also sure that I have found mine.


PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
12/2/2005 4:12 am

I think there is more than one person out there who can complement us. (Mind you, I said complement, not complete. We are complete in and of ourselves, it's our lives that make us feel otherwise.)

Our complmentary requirements change as we age and grow. I am not quite the same person I was at 20, my needs and wants are different now.

I have met several people in different moments of my life whom I felt were my soul partners. For one reason or another we grew apart or could never be together, but I have always maintained contact with most of them. The fact that none of them has turned out to be The One tells me either I did not fill their requirements at the time, or it was not the right time for us at all, if ever.

As to whether it's destiny or luck, I believe it's both. Fate makes us cross paths, but we're lucky enough to recognize them when we meet. Even luckier if they recognize us back.

Actually... the ground did tilt under my feet once... when I met my dearest friend in Spain, we hugged and kissed hello and I knew he should have been my life partner. Well... in our next life we'll be together.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
12/2/2005 4:55 am

It is a pain to try to find that other half but then again....there is fun to be had in the hunting...I thought I had finaly found mine along time ago...but it never came to be....but then I thought I had found another one....that never worked out either...so who to say there is only one soulmate...there could be many...who knows...

As far as knowing for sure if you found them...when you find that out let me know


dasher121 36M

12/2/2005 7:24 am

Wow, def one of the best posts I have read to date. I never knew the history behind that either, very interesting. You pose some great questions on this. Have wondered the same things myself.
I think alot of the time, like nightstalker said, we think we have found them. Only to think we found another. I do believe in sould mates, and have also been "fooled" more than a few times. But I think, sometimes we decieve ourselves. We want the person we are with to be that person, so you shape your perception of them to fit the bill(i know i know, ill quit on the whole perception thing lol.).
I would like to imagine that when I find the "one" yes the ground will tilt when we just look into eachothers eyes. Or just their presence alone is overwhelming. Just looking at "her" would make my heart pound harder, my breath come short, and my words jumbled and nervous.


KC_JJ 54M

12/2/2005 10:13 am

I would concur with the idea that you have many potential soulmates rather than one absolute one.

But there is some sort of archetypal aching melodramatic tragedy in the concept behind the idea of almost meeting the right one, investing a major portion of your lifetime spent with them and one day discovering the _absolute_ soulmate but it all being essentially too late to really do anything about it.

I'm going to recommend an absolutely beautiful story which definitely fits into the "soulmate" category in Wim Wenders' film titled Wings of Desire. I'm breaking apart now just thinking of it even though it's been years since I saw it. I think it was remade again in America with a different director but please rent the original german version (english subtitled) as I can't imagine that the American remake could come anywhere close to having the full impact of the original.

Here's a portion of a general description of it I clipped.

This Wim Wenders film centers around the story of two angels wandering in a mixture of post-war and modern Berlin. Invisible to humans, they nevertheless give their help and comfort to all the lonely and depressed souls they meet.

If I had continued with more of this it may have blown it but I think you could well relate to the female interest in the story as she is a dancer/circus acrobat.

And don't be put off by the slowness of the film at the start. Once it picks up it's pace it worth the wait. I nearly fell asleep at the beginning myself but that effect is actually a deliberate and quite brilliant part of the storytelling devices used by Wenders.

KC_JJ

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KC_JJ 54M

12/3/2005 12:53 am

Hey curious,

see The Soul Mate Regurgitations. You got me to dredge up some older material of mine that I sort of left by the wayside for awhile!

KC_JJ

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KC_JJ 54M

12/3/2005 1:18 am

lets see if the link works this time - The Soul Mate Regurgitations

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curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/3/2005 4:45 am

Efil - to be in someones arms and be 100% secure.....I haven't felt that in so long. To find someone who can make me feel that again.....it's something that I hunger for. Someday he'll hold me in his arms and I'll know I'm his love, his princess, his forever and there won't be any doubt.
*sigh*He's out there somewhere.....


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/3/2005 4:49 am

PK - "compliment"...."complete"....big difference there, good distinction. I don't think that it is so much finding someone to "complete" us in the sense that we on our own aren't good enough....but more that, in being with that person, we discover new parts of ourselves and their love, support and compantionship helps us to descover our own being in a new light. And in that sense, in showing us new parts of ourselves, they urge us towards a more total completion. Does that make any sense?
Ground tilting when your in someones arms.....wonderful feeling, isn't it?


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/3/2005 4:58 am

Nightstalker and Dasher -
I'm responding to you both together because I have similar things to say to you both, but first.........Dasher - I happen to throughly enjoy your perceptions, so don't say sorry for them.

I think that most people have, at one time or another, fooled themselves into believing that the person they were with was The One. The human mind is an amazing thing and we can talk ourselves into believing just about anything we want.
I believe that when you find that one person, your heart will just know. When you can't think of anything but being with them and, when they smile at you in love, even breathing ceases to hold any importance.....the only thing that matters is that they were smiling with love in their eyes and it was directed at you. When you can look across the room and truly have all sights and all sounds disappear....until all you can see is them, all you can hear is their laughter.
When I find him, I'll let you know if that's how it felt.


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/3/2005 5:04 am

If any of you haven't yet gone over to KC's blog and read his post (link is above), then please do. It is beautifully written.

KC - Yes, I went and read that post......thank you.

I'll have to see what I can do about finding the movie. I think that I've heard of it before, but I'm not sure. Thank you for the recommendation.


PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
12/3/2005 7:55 am

"...to be in someones arms and be 100% secure..."

I have to disagree with this. I always felt 100% secure in my XBF's arms, and he left me out in the cold to die when I needed him most.

100% secure? There is no such thing... and if there is, I doubt I will ever feel it. I will forever be haunted by what happened, forever wonder if I can ever trust that person completely. I can't afford to any more.

Am I disappointed by love? Yes.
Am I bitter? Possibly.
Is it a wonderful feeling? Yes... even when tempered by the grief of knowing it can never come to pass.

I'm so tired of seeking... I should just give up and face the fact that I will always be alone. But if I do that... I will die. And so, I go on, seeking and hoping that maybe, one day, someone will fel the same way about me.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


goddessofbitches 41M/33F

12/3/2005 10:37 am

I believe there is a soul mate..for everyone...and I think that each time you find someone is a life then they too become a soul mate. So...in essence I think there can be more than one soul mate. More than one person you have fell in love with.

HUGS~~~MANDY

Always The Bitch


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/3/2005 12:12 pm

PK - you know my opinions on your ex.....perhaps that was one of those situations in which you wanted so badly to believe that he was the One, that you warped your perceptions of him.
It's out there.....don't give up.


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/3/2005 12:16 pm

Goddess - I know that there are many wonderful men in the world who I could be with, be gloriously happy with and truly truly love. But does that nessesarily mean that they are my soulmate? Could there still be one man out there who was destined for me? I don't know.
Thank you for taking the time.


KC_JJ 54M

12/3/2005 2:25 pm

I remain unable to fall on either side of the fence on this one. (or I'll tell you at this moment, but now watch me contradict this statement)

But I think any tendency of my own to fall on the side of thinking there are "many" is actually some sort of "self consolement" on my part to cover up a subtle fear that I may not actually find "the one" within this particular life span.

In my deeper regions I absolutetly beleive in it as some part of me that's beyond my intellect "knows". Plus, due to my "weakness" of being a closet "hyper-romantic", how else could I possibly conceive of it?

Now overall I've led a pretty fulfilling life which now would not qualify anymore as having been "short" (in relative terms) and if this life of mine does happen to somehow come to a screeching halt of an ending, say within the next few hours or so, I'm not going be complaing too much (I will complain some, beleive me! , but not a whole lot) about what I might have "missed out on".

But even that fact is not going to stop me from quietly hoping that I might by chance still meet "the one" this time around the block.

I honestly don't think there is _anything_ which can stop that feeling inside of me,

KC_JJ

PS. Some might say I've got the male equivalent of an exaggerated and metaphysically twisted form of what is often referred to as "The Snow White Syndrome".

Key dork phrase - toad prince in tarnished armour

OMG - This has inspired a brand new opener for my profile!!!

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FriendlybutKinky 49M

12/3/2005 2:31 pm

I liked the portrayal of that myth in the movie, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

Okay, the Greek Mythology bit reminds me of an old joke...

"One night, a long time ago, the dogs decided to have a big party. Everyone came, but because they didn't want to stink up the place, everyone had to hang their asshole by the door. Well, it was a loud and ruckus affair, and the neighbors got restless and called the cops who came to bust up the party. When the cops came, everyone ran out the door grabbing the first asshole they could find before they left."

That is why to this day when dogs meet each other they sniff each other's asshole to see if the other dog has theirs.


ManinMcK 50M
23 posts
12/3/2005 3:19 pm

Your "SoulMate", complementary other half, Destined one, is there just one? If it's destined, then do we give ourselves up to everything that happens to us? Destiny is a tricky concept, if somethng bad happens is a mischance, something good is destiny? I think as a human being who is always making things better for/of themselves we have to take responcibility for our lives, not settle for what is handed to us by chance/fate. We need to explore and seek out the new oportunity, look for the next step in our search for happiness. Sometime we/I settle for what is convienent comfortable, not wanting to take a chance, make a mistake... What if that person who is your soulmate comes around after you are married and have a family, do you leave them? Is having your soulmate as the very best of friends any less than being partnered with them? What if you meet your soul mate and they made choices that preclude you from being in their life... I really don't know about a perfect soulmate, but i believe that there are complementary, or completing people out there for all of us, we just have to open our eyes and stop looking for perfection, do you realy want to have to deal with perfection, how do you keep it perfect, just being human beings pertty much means we'll make mistakes. Can you deal with being the one who screwes up perfection. For myself, I'll take bliss, i'll accept the struggle to make it better, because through diversity, we learn and grow... wow, did I just say all that... Thank you Curious for bring that out of me, it really give me something to think about/ something to seriously reflect on.


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
12/3/2005 4:03 pm

KC - It's ok to be a mass of contradictions sometimes...it keeps things interesting, right? I guess really all we can do is keep open minds and hearts for whatever comes along and simple trust to hope that somewhere someone is waiting. I firmly believe that they are. It's just a matter of finding each other.

Friendly - Great story! I've never heard of that movie....what is the story line? I'll have to see if I can find it.

Manin - As for destiny and finding our "someone", I tend to agree with Efil's statement further up....."Destined? Yes, but destiny also needs a little bit of luck to help her." Perhaps it is that destiny placed two people on the Earth, with the intention that they would meet and complete each other....but they have to make the rest happen on their own.
Is being friends with them just as good? Oh yes. The man that I spent the last five years of my life with....I firmly believe that he is a soulmate. He isn't the ultimate, my twin flame. But he is my closest friend and there isn't anyone in the world who knows me better. I wouldn't trade that friendship for anything.
But there is a difference between someone who is "perfect" (which I don't believe anyone is) and someone who is "perfect for me".

For myself, I'll take bliss, i'll accept the struggle to make it better, because through diversity, we learn and grow.
WOW!! What a powerful truth....you captured it perfectly in words too!


HedonisticGuy69 46M
90 posts
12/18/2005 5:49 am

Having mispent my childhood with my head burried in fantasy/ sci-fi books and over indulging in movies and classic shows , I have to come clean... I suspect that I may be a hopeless, falling down drunk type of romantic
Disappointments, failings, and not being able to properly deal with shortcomings at times in life has had the effect of pulling me towards the cynics point of view.
Being the sensible type, it's hard not to be pragmatic, nor be a realist, yet, I can't help but conject that there's something to it *brows furrow, shakes head*
Accoding to Kerby Anderson, in an attemt to debunk the myth, one has to consider the problem of 'false positives' where people find the 'one' marry them and eventually end up in divorce.
He also brings up the second problem of 'false negatives' where an individual meets someone they disllike or even despise but over time comes to find admirable qualities in a mate.
He states that certain people come into our lives who we 'click' with. Explaining that this is because we carry templates in our minds of what that certain ideal person may be which is influenced by family background, expectations, books, movies, and personal experiences. When that template comes into our lives, sparks fly and there's instant and great attraction regardless of how little we know about them.
This may explain love at first sight and feelings of finding the 'one'.
His views are not that easy to dismiss as it's reasonable, yet, like the rest of us his perception is limited.
Likely because I suspect that Jung is onto something, I tend to think that life is infinite not finite. Should this be so, then it's not only possible but probable that we live over and over perhaps in order to learn all that is to learn which is a lot
Coincidentally this would also support concepts of companion, twin, and twin flame soulmates.
Though at this moment, I am inclined to support the idea, I can just as easily come up with reason to the contrary. Talk about conflited
The long and short of it is I haven't been able to expunge the belief so am hopeless
I just don't feel that this individual is necessary to live a life less ordinary. All that's left for me to do is hope that I can understand myself better so that I will be able to recognize her with greater ease, however, if it doesn't come to pass in this life, I think it would be a waste to fret and dwell.
She's someone who'd compliment my weaknesses, and who's weaknesses would be complimented by my strengths. I would like to believe she would live life nearer towards the fullest, regardless if we ever met.


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