Okay this is more like it.  

cru1972 44M
3520 posts
3/22/2006 2:30 pm

Last Read:
5/17/2006 2:09 pm

Okay this is more like it.

Alright, Now that I'm not so emotional, This is the the story, MY SIDE.

Since we are not married the state says DNA test is required for child support. Yes I wanted to do that before I would accept the responsibility, of being a father; to Another of her children. She has 2 from ex-husband. They are the only reason I stayed in the relationship, once it headed south, 3 1/2 LONG years ago. I have such mixed emotions about the whole thing.

Yea, I'm gonna be a dad!
Noooo, I won't be a good father!
Yea, I can do the things right that my father, and mother fucked up on.
Noooo, I can barely manage my own life, how the hell can I raise a child.
Jesus I hope its not mine so I can Run out of this relationship, and never look back.

I want nothing more than to get this child, and raise him, on my own, if need be. Everyone that knows me personally around here say that I would be a great father,which is a good thing, I THINK. I do live in one of the greatest father-friendly states I have ever been in so I have that going for me. But my past is not so good. So for that I am scared that I won't get the custody. I only thought about the signing off thing last nite, When she told me that she wanted that I told her " IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN"
Maybe this makes sense to you maybe not?
But to kaliedascope61, [blog saintlianna], sweetSinn2690, angelofmercy5, [blog HOTNBOTHERED0414], [blog ambu252], catseyes23, & LustGoddess2469 Thank you for your concern and input it is much appreciated I also would like to apologize for just jumping on here to get it off my chest without having control over my actions. please forgive me


catseyes23 61F

3/22/2006 8:40 pm

There is nothing to forgive, Cru. I feel for you and if you find that he is your son, I am sure that you would be a good father to him.

Cats...


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/23/2006 12:48 am

    Quoting catseyes23:
    There is nothing to forgive, Cru. I feel for you and if you find that he is your son, I am sure that you would be a good father to him.

    Cats...


powerbella 43F

3/23/2006 5:06 am

Dear Cru,

I do not know you from speaking to you, but I have read enough of your comments on blogs here that I can pretty much say this with a good heart. I think you are a beautiful open-minded man that should give any child a good upbringing. I hope all goes well for you. A past is just "past" it is over....

Powerbella


angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
3/23/2006 6:47 am

* TAG YOU ARE IT! *

The first player of this game starts it and shares "6 weird/things/habits/oddities about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog sharing THEIR 6 weird habits/things/oddities.

At the end you need to choose the 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their latest blog post and tell them to read yours.


I can't wait to read your 6 things! Come over to my blog and read mine!


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/23/2006 7:33 am

Hey Cru, Your welcome, I went through pretty much the same thing your going through. In my fight for custody it got to be to much, there was to much arguing fighting, riducule, and was causing more hate and anger and then I looked at my daughter, she was crying and going un noticed in the middle of something that was suppose to be about her. I tried to explain this to my ex, but she was just in it for the win. I know she is a good mom to my daughter, but her nature wouldn't allow her nurtuing side to come out if I kept fighting her for custody. I gave up on the case, for my daughters sake I had to. Just don't get so caught up in the fight that you lose perspective of your son's well being. She can't take away the fact that you are this babys daddy! Make sure you know all of your rights, the attorney general will have a website, talk to a lawyer if you have to, just know what you are allowed, and know that she probably thinks she has alot more power then she really does. You are doing the right thing, keep writing you will feel better.


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/23/2006 7:53 am

    Quoting powerbella:
    Dear Cru,

    I do not know you from speaking to you, but I have read enough of your comments on blogs here that I can pretty much say this with a good heart. I think you are a beautiful open-minded man that should give any child a good upbringing. I hope all goes well for you. A past is just "past" it is over....

    Powerbella
bella, I'm only hoping that the courts see it that way also. I have learned alot from my mistakes. Thank you


HOTNBOTHERED0414 46F

3/23/2006 9:32 am

I LOVE YA SOOOO MUCH CRU, I TAGGED YA TOO!!!!


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/23/2006 11:02 am

    Quoting Kaliedascope61:
    Hey Cru, Your welcome, I went through pretty much the same thing your going through. In my fight for custody it got to be to much, there was to much arguing fighting, riducule, and was causing more hate and anger and then I looked at my daughter, she was crying and going un noticed in the middle of something that was suppose to be about her. I tried to explain this to my ex, but she was just in it for the win. I know she is a good mom to my daughter, but her nature wouldn't allow her nurtuing side to come out if I kept fighting her for custody. I gave up on the case, for my daughters sake I had to. Just don't get so caught up in the fight that you lose perspective of your son's well being. She can't take away the fact that you are this babys daddy! Make sure you know all of your rights, the attorney general will have a website, talk to a lawyer if you have to, just know what you are allowed, and know that she probably thinks she has alot more power then she really does. You are doing the right thing, keep writing you will feel better.
Thank you so very much for the words of encouragement. They do mean alot. Also I am worried about the fact that you brought up, about the pain the child will suffer through all this. I went through it so I know first hand about the pain it can cause. I will keep writing I try not to write that much about the situation, But enuff is enuff, Then I need to vent to get it off my chest, then I feel so much better.


angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
3/23/2006 11:41 am

Crue....I wanted to comment on this blog....and not just tag you! I like the fact that you weren't afraid to put your feelings and emotions out there. It is cathartic to get it out. And it lets others, like me, know your true heart! And what a heart it is. I hope you know that there is a community standing here behind you...ready to listen and help when ever you need to let it all out!


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/23/2006 12:41 pm

I am starting to see that, and it is very appreciated. I am a very shy person by nature. Around here I have been ostrisized for so long b/c of the choice I made to date the ex, and now it's been so long since I have been out to really talk to friends. Not that I have many TRUE friends around hear. Sad but true. But I do find it easier to talk to you fellow bloggers. I think it might have something to do with the fact that, I really doubt any of us will actually meet. I mean I do like the fact that I am talking to all of you. But about the only people I would ever have the chance to really meat would be Virginian's. (My mother lives there, so I get there every once in a while) Job and financeing permitted. The last vacation I took was there and that was in 98? maybe 99.


sweetSinn2690
2943 posts
3/23/2006 12:42 pm

You don't have to thank us, people are here and have the same experiences as others, so when you have been through it one knows somewhat what to expect. Each situation is always different but yet shares a common bond, it's called caring. You just need to follow your inner voice, to try to find the right path...a path of honor and dignity and loving the one gift God has truly offered you. Children are amazing and bring forth such a joy, a love like no other. Worrying about how you will make it through, emotionally, physically, financially, are just secondary details. He's what's #1.
You will be surprised at the things you can get through once you know it's not only you but another human being you must provide and protect. Parenting is the hardest job in the world, but it's also the most rewarding...when you see them grow and accomplish their goals your heart will burst with pride. One suggestion, being how you like to write and log your feelings...start a journal to him, this way one day he will always know how his Dad felt about him deep inside, it will be something he would always treasure. Plus it will help you to muddle through those emotions inside. I hope it all works out for you and stay strong....xo


Oh WHATEVER BITCHES!


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/23/2006 12:46 pm

OH no not againI'll be on here for days trying to get caught up with all this stuff. I will get to it. But I need to spend some time with (hopefully) my son also.


LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
3/24/2006 6:54 pm

Don't know about Florida, but here in Ohio, once the paternity test is done, no matter what last name she gave the child...the birth certificate is changed to reflect the father's name....similiar deal happened with my son. Wife gave boys HER name since they were separated.I think she stills trys to use her name, but my son goes along behind her with copies of the bc's with his name on them and has them changed....I know this sounds mean, but you would just have to be here to understand..see my blog "The Only Person I Truly Hate".

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/24/2006 7:03 pm

    Quoting sweetSinn2690:
    You don't have to thank us, people are here and have the same experiences as others, so when you have been through it one knows somewhat what to expect. Each situation is always different but yet shares a common bond, it's called caring. You just need to follow your inner voice, to try to find the right path...a path of honor and dignity and loving the one gift God has truly offered you. Children are amazing and bring forth such a joy, a love like no other. Worrying about how you will make it through, emotionally, physically, financially, are just secondary details. He's what's #1.
    You will be surprised at the things you can get through once you know it's not only you but another human being you must provide and protect. Parenting is the hardest job in the world, but it's also the most rewarding...when you see them grow and accomplish their goals your heart will burst with pride. One suggestion, being how you like to write and log your feelings...start a journal to him, this way one day he will always know how his Dad felt about him deep inside, it will be something he would always treasure. Plus it will help you to muddle through those emotions inside. I hope it all works out for you and stay strong....xo
I just got this thank you for the wonderful idea of the journal I will definately do that. Also thank you for all the kind words.


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/24/2006 7:20 pm

    Quoting angelofmercy5:
    * TAG YOU ARE IT! *

    The first player of this game starts it and shares "6 weird/things/habits/oddities about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog sharing THEIR 6 weird habits/things/oddities.

    At the end you need to choose the 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their latest blog post and tell them to read yours.

    I can't wait to read your 6 things! Come over to my blog and read mine!
Now that I have got caught up with everything in the last few days, interview, responces, and seeing the kid, I'm going back through to make sure I get all of my responses in here. Believe it or not it made me very happy that you tagged me. It gave me a chance to let everyone Know a little 'bout myself. Imagine my suprise when right afteer that Kal contacted my about the interview. Sometimes this seems almost TOO hectic, now I can see how some people need to take some time off. Thank you


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/24/2006 9:29 pm

    Quoting LadytoPleaseYou:
    Don't know about Florida, but here in Ohio, once the paternity test is done, no matter what last name she gave the child...the birth certificate is changed to reflect the father's name....similiar deal happened with my son. Wife gave boys HER name since they were separated.I think she stills trys to use her name, but my son goes along behind her with copies of the bc's with his name on them and has them changed....I know this sounds mean, but you would just have to be here to understand..see my blog "The Only Person I Truly Hate".
Thanks for the advice. I'll check into that


twirly_girl 47F

5/16/2006 9:01 pm

You are already a good father.
Don't ever let "anyone" make you
feel otherwise. And I can
guarantee you "someone" will try
to make you feel that way at some
point.
When it happens? Take it for what it
is... pettiness.

-Nikki


cru1972 44M
4407 posts
5/17/2006 2:09 pm

Already have seen the light. Thanks sweet sexyass


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