When is a sub a sub? When is a dom a dom?  

croppedgrip 53M
42 posts
1/10/2006 4:48 am

Last Read:
3/20/2006 2:29 am

When is a sub a sub? When is a dom a dom?

Here's one for you...

Now lets start off by clearing up the fact that by "sub", I don't mean one of those "foot long excuse for sandwiches" that Subway are touting on every street corner in London at the moment. Where the hell did they come from anyway - one minute not one to be seen, the next they are everywhere! And the smell coming out of the place - what is it????

Anyway, I digress...

I must admit that I have dabbled as a dom with the dom/sub thing and it has always puzzled me how the dom can, in a way, end up being the sub! If you've dabbled too you will know about "limits respected" safe words etc.

Now, is it me or is it easy for the sub to lay down so many rules that he (or she) takes control of the situation and almost becomes more dominant one? "Yeah you can do that to me, but not that and definitely not THAT!". In my book a submissive is exactly that... submissive.

I realise that people may have limits, but they also have to realise that the power shifts... The dom becomes more submissive to the will of the sub and the sub more dominant to the dom.

Has anyone else had similar experiences???


dirtyevil1 66M
14 posts
1/31/2006 8:37 pm

Dirty Evil 1 here, I find that being the dom is actually being submissive. You've got to do all the work, make up all the scenes, Buy god knows how many toys, whips, chains, collars, lumber for all the gadgets that you need to have a good time. Then after that you have to make sure that your sub (I CAN'T STAND SUBWAY. IT SMELLS LIKE A ROMAN VOMITORIUM) doesn't get burned by the wax, hurt by the lash, be forced to endure your sexual cravings, bruised like a banana, or worse. I'm almost to the point where BDSM games are more hassle than they are worth I mean you just got to trust your partner and let them have their way with you once in a while. Its not like your going to wind up in baggies all up and down the highway and I seriously doubt that your face is going to turn up on a milk carton, Its just a little rough sex and take whats coming to you and enjoy it.


rm_affbreak 46M
287 posts
2/12/2006 7:16 am

Most so called doms are in a way scared to loose their subs. That's why they are the ones accepting limits without at least trying to break them. Which makes them obeying wussies in a way, imo.

On the other hand this 'safe, sane and consentual' rule has a damn good reason to exist - as it excludes scenarios and the like, which, in a 'dominant ruled world', would be everyday practice.


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