On a date ....  

cristale75 41F
73 posts
1/21/2006 8:18 am

Last Read:
8/15/2007 10:31 pm

On a date ....

I have gone on 2 dates with some guy I met on another website. He is nice and friendly, young and talkative. Then I had to wonder what was my motivation for going out with him. I cant exactly look for something romantic or serious in nature. SO then why ? I didnt meet him on AdultFriendFinder so sex is not part of the immediate plans.

I want a casual buddy that MAYBE might lead to sex. I just dont want the the sex to be a given.I realized I do miss NJBC, even after all this time if for nothing else the sextalk.So maybe NewBud's ethic background is a motivation. I have made a conserted effort to be very open with this new friend. To not let communication becum an obstacle to whatever. But I guess its not fair to my BF. He would kill me if he knew i still frequented AdultFriendFinder. Maybe its the possibilty of getting caught that gives me motivation to purse the new friendship. My BF says NJBC left me with some bad habits and I should not indulge in them by frequenting AdultFriendFinder and the possible activities that might cum. I really care for my BF but he sure knows how to damper a mood...sometimes.

cristale75 41F

2/22/2006 10:58 pm

As of late I have been window shopping on this site. I have had no luck in actually meeting someone from this site this time around. I have talked infrequently with another AFFer but no meeting. Turns out he said that he wasnt into chicks with partners or as I wonder if it has anything to do with him seeing my pic.

Anyhow I am not a homewrecker. I will not play with someone who has a partner UNLESS its a couple situation. Its best to have all the cards on the table.

And my status changed as of last thursday. I can officially meet ppl from AdultFriendFinder.

cristale75 41F

1/21/2006 8:41 pm


I think the BF is insecure of what I might stumble upon on this lovely site. He feels that certain interests of mine are a lil off. He would NEVER try half of the stuff I would to do and since I will be in NYC next month he has been exceptionally paranoid. This cuming from a man who travels for his job and Im suppose to be ok with that.

rm_mojomike 49M
45 posts
1/21/2006 1:33 pm

well this reply will dampen ( or brighten ) your mood.

A relationship should always be equal outside of the bedroom ( sometimes in the bedroom depending on preferences ), if you have certain preferences, then enjoy them, don't be restricted into wishing to have them.

It's like the example I read in another blog. the girl wanted to have a 3-some, utilizing another man. Her BF was willing, but after the entire episode, they broke up, why? he was not confident in himself, to handle watching his GF having sex by another man.

I myself will wonder, if I have enough confidence in myself, about such a situation if I am in a committed relationship. OPENNESS is what this is all about. giving to each other the right and the confidence to pursue what brings us joy.

as a golden rule, you should bring up points to your partner where you are weak, and where you are confident. this will only increase the bonds.

if your partner frowns upon you for visiting this site, then their might be an issue. ask him why? it might just be that he has performance issue or maybe as simple as him replying that he's scared of losing you to someone else.


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