Joke of the Day  

crazyname67 49M
200 posts
1/6/2006 2:17 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Joke of the Day

k, forwards usually suck but I got this one today from a friend and thought I'd share it. It's not very nice though, so please don't anyone try it. But I'm sure you'll be able to relate if you ever struggle with anger management.

"When I have the occasional bad day and need to take it out on someone, I don't take it out on my loved ones anymore...

I got the idea one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1. "Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said. "Hello, asshole," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!" "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 2 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

NOW, I feel better. This anger management shit really works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

firestarter665 42M/39F

1/6/2006 3:19 pm

I have had a really bad day and this really made me laugh. Thanks.

rm_muffin162 56M
763 posts
1/6/2006 4:56 pm

nice one ,put a smile on my face

crazyname67 49M

1/6/2006 5:57 pm

Hey firestarter... I can see why you'd be having a bad day by just lookin at what you're doing in your pic. LOL. Damn, doing that would definitely ruin mine... It would totally SUCK! Just teasin. Hope things get better for you today and have a great weekend!

crazyname67 49M

1/6/2006 5:58 pm

Maybe he got his training from Jack Nicholson Sexyfit.

crazyname67 49M

1/6/2006 6:08 pm

Hey Muffin... welcome to my blog! Glad I could put a smile on your face!

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/6/2006 6:15 pm

LMAO.That was one good story.

jadedbabe78 105F

1/6/2006 8:39 pm

teehee! I remember this one---because I soooo want to try it sometime, lol. Still makes me giggle each and every time I read it.

crazyname67 49M

1/6/2006 10:44 pm

Hey Oldman76, thanx for the visit. It really made me sad when I visited you blog and saw that you haven't seen your kids for 40 years. That must be so hard. I couldn't imagine what that would be like. That's great that you still love them and are looking for them and I so hope you will find them.

crazyname67 49M

1/6/2006 10:46 pm

Hey jaded if you ever do try it, please blog me and tell me all about it cause I'd love to hear about it. LOL!

Become a member to create a blog