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why am i here?
why am i here?
Thought id update this thing now my experiences on this site have grown, and seeing the effort some people put into it i felt obliged to think harder and to try put it down on screen in a format that sort of makes some sort of sense. and hopefully allows people to relate to me and my opinions. the thought of joining a site such as this is something I had never anticipated doing. its like the stories you read in the papers....... "always happens to someone else, not me". its something I imagined to be littered with "undesirables" and "desparados" and "perverts", but yet im now here among the ranks, actively hoping to have constant contact with people I initially dont know. Dont get me wrong, my life is cool at the mo, i make the most of the tools I have been given and its working pretty well. I have an active social life, a comfortable amount of money in the bank, and although I admit to not being someone who makes women quiver and shake just because of my prescence I do "O.K". so why am I here, why do I set aside a couple of hours each day to scour the reems and reems of pictures of people i dont know (trying to find someone that makes me stop dead in my tracks) and catch up "friends" i may never see? I think part of it is because I can. maybe its because theres something exciting about browsing peoples profiles, just as you would a catalogue, getting excited when something jumps out off the page, making to take a second glance and a more prolonged look. could it be that i am a typical man, who thinks only about sex and are simply trying pathetically to increase the number of times i get laid? could it be desperation / frustration? ive considered this and the answer to all of the above is............ NO! So why is it? ................... Basically theres 3 parts:
PART A:- "FRIENDS"
Imagine this, a single man gets home from work after a bad day, frustrated by the constant supply of small irritations that build up during a busy day coping with the general public. the snide comments from unhappy clients, the poor performance of colleagues which directly affects his ability to perform his job, the inconsiderate clients who turn up 15mins late for a meeting, or dont turn up at all. he gets home to what is a quiet house (something that he likes by the way!), and he browses through several text messages from mates who are up for a night out, when hed rather stay in. how does he "unwind"? no body in the house? its amazing how talking to a stranger is far easier than someone close? he feels no embarassment about telling them exactly how he feels, his experiences (good or bad) etc etc when it seems hard to do it face to face with those you should trust the most. its why you feel drawn towards the people you meet on here, and the reason he logs on. this is a secret part of him that none of his friends know about, and probably never will. but it is part of the reason why hes happy and free of stress on nights out, why he never needs to have a whinge to them (apart from extreme circumstances). its why he is someone who gets a lot of invites and, without blowing his own trumpet, appears to be a vital part of his social group.
PART B:- "POTENTIALS"
Its a busy Friday / Saturday night and a single man is in his local "haunt". the place is full to the rafters of people over indulging themselves, and happy in their individual groups seemingly un aware of the "strangers" around them, focusing on their own friends and partners. the single man, although having a great time with his pals (as ever) looks around the mass of people around him, something in the back of his brain telling him that he cant be single for ever. he sees someone he likes, a beautiful girl surrounded by a group of her closest friends. shes having a great time, totally unaware of those around her. the single man wants to approach, but he hasnt been invited. and the umpteen double voddies and redbulls hes slammed down his neck in the last hour havent given him the boost of confidence needed to approach! she hasnt asked for him to approach. what gives him the right to go over and interupt her night when she doesnt know him? if he was to go over what would he have to say to someone he doesnt know from Adam(or Eve in this case)? does she have a boyfriend? what does she like? what does she have strong feelings for or against? will she blow him out? the music is really loud, he can hardly hear his mates who are screaming in his ear from a distance of 2 inches! what if he cant hear / understand what shes saying? and theres that awkward moment where you hopelessly stare at each other, unable to communicate! This is the trouble faced by a single man. dont get me wrong, he does have the courage to approach, but it is something which at times seems a massive thing to take on, like a mad dash across no-mans land, when theres a good chance hel get shot down. wouldnt it be easier if he could get through all the awkward stages (the approach, the initial "get to know you" chat, the swapping of views, hobbies, interests etc etc) without the nerves. if the single man knew at a glance what the women likes / dislikes / what her fave music is / her type of man / her fave drink ..... then all the nerves wouldnt be there, and he could be himself, safe in the knowledge there will always be something to chat about! similar thoughts and experiences to share! he could swagger over, her fave drink in his hand, and immediately start up a witty and interesting conversation about topics that will hit her the most, leaving her desperate to prolong the conversation, drawing her total attention away from her mates to this man stood in front of her! and at the end of the night them walking hand in hand to the bedroom, or the closest park bench! totally enthralled by this person that they have just met. lol. unfortunately it doesnt work like that! or does it? if the single man could select females hes attracted to, and check whether they are compatible before a words said, find out in great detail what this women likes, her hobbies, etc etc then he could cherry pic those that are suitable, and send them a message.......... and if one replies then shes someone who should be compatible. this site gives the single man a helping hand along the long path to finding "the one". The single man needs all the help he can get. BRING IT ON!
PART C:- "LUST"
Someone once said to the single man, during a conversation about sex and one night stands, and the single mans increasing boredom and disillusionment with them.... "No-mans an island". the single mans initial reaction was "what the fucks that mean". but then he gave it a thought. an island is isolated, surrounded by water. a solitary life. similar to a single man? very much so. to him its very profound. no mans an island. basically saying no-man should be excluded, especially from women. he shouldnt be on his own to long, he needs contact with the opposite sex! he needs sex. sex is the most basic of human activities, yet it is the biggest of deals! if eve hadnt been up for sex with adam, where would we be? lol. so why is it something which is often only kept to be shared between boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife? hes a single man, if this is the rule, where does this leave him? a small island in the middle of no where, thats where! sex is something he likes. surprise surprise, hes a man remember. he doesnt automatically connect sex with the need to be in a long term relationship. if theres a connection between people who only met 10 minutes ago, why shouldnt they have sex? sex is amazing if theres a connection, it could be that theyve known each other for 10 mins, or ten years. a connection is a connection! if the single man was to meet a women he likes on AdultFriendFinder, and she likes him, why shouldnt they meet. it could become a regular event. it aint dirty, it aint wrong, its nothing to be ashamed of. a single man needs sex as much as an attached man. and a single women needs as much sex as a attached women! so wheres the problem?
2/9/2009 1:31 pm
I said to a woman once, "be a sip of tea for me|
a _________, for Im a drop of freshly shedded dew upon the oceans surface in constant search of you."
And I think her, a woman is of land and I am of water, and no matter how much she be to get closer to her, the odds are far fetched of actually getting close. So it is a woman in my instance of countering the claim, A woman is an Island. You may find the song by the band ColdPlay with a line "You were an Island and I passed you by" to be of some relivent nature. Great post I just couldn't read it to it's fullest put forth.