The Next Day  

couplefor3ome 45M/46F
5 posts
2/2/2006 10:52 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Next Day

We have been involved, I guess you would call it "alternative lifestyle", since 1998. Our first encounter was with a woman in Courtney B.C. on Vancover Island. We met her through another personal site. It was scarey and exciting. We diden't know how we were going to feel about it. But it was a great experience, and it got us hooked.
Since then we have been constantly searching for women to join us. Let me tell you it is no easy task to find great women. When we say great we are talking about their attitude, their character. For the past eight years we averaged one or two meetings a year(we wish it could be a lot more). We are in contact with dozens of women. But weeding through all them, and finding the ones that are really into adult activity is hard..
We have been very fourtunate to have a few great encounters. But the one thing that puts a damper on the experience is all the bullshit. Those that are not upfront, by not just coming out and saying yes or no. And then there are those that stand you up. But we suppose that goes with this kind of lifestyle.
But those long spans of searching and the money that is put out to connect with people can be exhausting and makes you just give up. There has been several times we have deleted our account, and just said this is not worth it and that is when someone finds you and energizes you to continue. Because when you do find someone and it all works out, all the effort was worth it. But it is frustrating to have more failure then success. But, once again we suppose that is apart of this lifestyle.
The one thing that pisses us off the most, is after an encounter, and you believe everything went great, and you continue a contact with the person, be it by phone or messanger, they keep stringing you along, but never want to hook up again. At the last minute there is always a reason ( a death, sickness, or something) that they can't meet. Arranging a babysitter and taking time off work is no easy task, and to have it all shot to hell, at the last minute just takes the wind out your sails.
What we are saying is, why is it so difficult to be straight up. Just say. "look I don't want to see you anymore. It was fun, but I've moved on"
It is amazing how, in an adult site, you come across the most immature behavior. And it leaves you wondering where are all the serious people (serious as in those that are really into this lifestyle). Honesty, whether it hurts or not, has always got to be the first rule in this lifestyle. And respect would have to be the second. Bullshitting is just so disrespectful.
We go out of our way to make the woman we are with comfortable, feel safe, and it leaves us wondering what did we do to deserve disrespect.
But still after it is all said and done, those one or two encounters that we do get a year are worth the crap we have to go through. To find a woman that will give us her time and a brief moment of pleasure and memories we thank each and everyone of you, all of you are beautiful through and through.
This is going to be our last couple of months doing this and hopefully we will find just one more experience. But for those of you reading this, think about respect and honesty. We know this is all about sex, which should be just fine (because just a sexual thing is sometimes all we need, and what better way to have fun, beats every other physical activity we can think of), but dissing people can take a toll. This is supose to be fun. It's kind of hard to have fun when people treat you like shit.

lifeisablast333 54M

2/2/2006 11:55 pm

the world is full of good people, and ass-holes...The REDNECK

couplefor3ome 45M/46F

2/3/2006 8:00 am

We agree it has to go both ways. There has to be understanding and the time has to be given to gain each other's trust. Shit does happen where a meeting has to be cancelled. But we think that it becomes obvious whether you are getting the brush off or not. Again, that goes back to gaining a level a trust. And time has to be invested to earn that. We have always tried to set up our first meetings in public pl;aces, so everyone feels safe able to leave, if it is not working out. It is usually best to give it sometime after the first meeting before actually having sex, especially for first timers. So everyone is sure they want to do this. The last thing we would ever want to do is scar someone. We want to be remembered with a smile, not distain. Then are those encounters where the attraction is immediate and everyone is like "let's go somewhere and get naked". As for personal appearance, everyone has their preferance. How can you enjoy sex, without attraction. Our biggest thing has always been hygene and personality. If a woman is clean and well groomed and she has a good attitude, we usually see past the physical stuff, like wieght. We are not physically perfect ourselves. But everyone needs to be turned on by who they are meeting to be able to have a good time. If it's not there we do believe in giving the respect to let them know that we are not interested. You don't have to be mean about it. It's just not everyone is going to work out and not everyone is for everyone. The connection has to be there. When you are doing what we are doing, a threesome, it gets more complicated, because there are three diffferant people and that's like trying to line the planets up. Still, for those that we reject, we do believe in giving them respect and for us that means being straight up with no bullshit or leading them on when you have no intention of even hooking up. And thanks Candy, for your reply, it is nice to hear the other side of things. I guess all we can say is everyone is beautiful when they behave that way. It is wonderful to have crazy sex, for the sake of sex. Thank God for sites like this and the people on them to make it possible.

luverslookin4fun 59M/46F

2/3/2006 10:15 pm

My husband and I have never had another person in our bed before, but are extremely excited about the idea. We are currently seeking someone now. I am really glad I read this blog and response. I will definitely take both of your opinions into consideration whether it is someone we are not comfortable with or whether someone is not comfortable with us. Thanks for the advice.

LilSquirt_4mfm 67M/67F
3394 posts
2/7/2006 4:35 pm

We a couple that loves 3 somes, but right now, an extra man to join us. We have similar difficulties .... sounds like they want to meet ... but, most find excuse once talk is about meeting face to face.

We learned long ago not to chat or phone sex as many want ONLY that .. the only ones we would do that now that we know the game is possibly someone we had already played with a few times.

Seems to go with the turf here that most like the "idea". but when their "buff" is called, find they didnt really want to go through with it. Im refering to initial face to face meetup ... everone who ever actually met up, enthusiastically carried through and played. This area might be different if it is a female..... we havnt done that one in a while.

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