Dreams of the Corrupted  

corrupted_nurse 33M
10 posts
3/26/2006 6:17 pm

Last Read:
3/26/2006 7:31 pm

Dreams of the Corrupted

Look around you. What do you see? People. Yes. People are all around us. This maybe your next-door neighbor, your stupid friend, or the ass of the girl that you want to hump. People are just so..... complex.

I went to school this morning to visit the damned place. Then as I looked around, I found familiar faces that greeted me. It's March, why are they on their fucking uniform, holding a receipt, and forming a line in the cashier's booth? I asked one of them, and she promptly replied "Hey, I'm going to apply for academic honors. I'll try to be a cum laude in april man. How bout you?? Today is the deadline of the application you know." I was taken aback. Startled. Yes, HOW ABOUT ME?Yes I was the top of our batch when we are in our second year. Kept my grade up as much as I can while consistently bickering with professors. Yes, they expect me to apply. To be there right on that stage to get the honors that I deserve. But why do I feel that such recognition is not important, even irrelevant? I just said "Nah. Maybe I won't make it on the deadline. I'll try to think whether I'll apply today or not." Her reply was of shock "What? I'm here dreaming of becoming one, and you, who will make it on the laude list will not apply?" I stood there silently, and after a brief moment, said my goodbye. As I walked towards the gate, I saw plenty of my classmates falling in line just to apply for the honors that they dream to be theirs.

Still, I was perplexed on my bahavior and to theirs. I mean, if you can't make it to the list, why apply? And to me, if I am on the list (as one of the insider said), why not? My mind went blank. And I remember what just Violet said (in the movie Ultraviolet which I just watched yesterday) "I lived in the world that you may not understand." Hell yeh. I think I'm deviant.

Still, if we are to consider Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, if we have satisfied our physiological needs like food, shelter, and clothing, we advance to the next level. And if we satisfy the needs on that level, we then advance to another one. But I think, when everything else is satisfied, your need changes. Like fame and desire to have more... Maybe that is the reasons why they are applying for the honor's list. Because that is their need. Honor, recognition, fame....

But still I haven't explained the reason why I am timid in applying for such recognition. Maybe because I don't really give importance to those things. Maybe because service, change, and improving the lives of others are more appealing to me than any honor bestowed to an individual. Or maybe I'm just different, the way I think, reason out. Or maybe I'm just plainly stupid.

People often desire and die for tangible things.

That should change.

And I'm here for THE change.

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